(Still) My Life!

I Give Up.

2009-09-08T00:56:00.001+08:00

As usual, my words are SEVERELY misread and misunderstood. I think this has caused enough distress to all, let’s all wake up our bloody ideas and stop the drama-mama stuffs. It is sickening and I am gagging from it.

I shall now show YOU how does “up-to-you-to-think-whatever-you-want” theory works (just like you wish for).

Full-stop.

And........

YAY~!!!!! Congratz to me... Exams cleared!! I am OFFICIALLY a Uni-Graduate now… *claps* No credits to that particular someone though who made such a “difficult” decision many years ago.

I appreciate and sincerely thank God for His guidance, I thank my group-mates for fighting the battle with me, I thank Adrian for his patience and understanding, I thank my parents for their love and support.

ONWARD NOW TO MANY BETTER TOMORROW.

Cheers.

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This is going nowhere.

2009-09-04T16:12:00.004+08:00

When i told Adrian about what happened and what are my thoughts, he asked me:

"Are you sure you want to risk your friendship?"

I said "no, that is why i am still meeting her this Sunday, cuz what happen was none of my business!"

I have made sincere efforts to consciously tell myself that i should not be affected by anyone's words and stay out of people's business.

And turns out.. i shouldn't even try. The outcome is the same. Interrogation. Like since when do i need to report and explain myself to anyone as to what i write in my blog?

When i wrote the previous entry, the only person i am answerable to is KT, cuz the subject matter is her current boyfriend. I asked her if she mind me writing about him, i reassured her that i am not being a busy body, just a rush of thoughts albeit no doubt, it is from her real-life stories that has triggered my memories.

It wasn't an impulsive post, i read and re-read 5 times before clicking the "publish" button.. i dun understand which part of it has crossed with KT's entry. What i wrote has nothing to do with KT and both entries has no relations at all. In fact, the entry was mainly to show that i am pissed off that i am being used as an "example".. and my empathy for the same situation that KT is in now.

And why the big reaction? Guilt perhaps?

HER persistency irritates the shit out of me. I explicitly and gently "reminded" her.. yes we can talk but nothing bout my entry.. but she never stop, just like i expected. I need to work and i need to sleep, and being constantly hounded by someone (at unearthly hours) for something she assumed and not within my intentions really annoys me. Sure she said "IF".. but throughout the whole sms saga. it revolves around me not thinking in her shoes and how would i feel if it happens to me blah blah blah.. Honestly, i really can't be bothered about their wars and scandals, i got better things to do than that.. All i did was to lend a listening ear, and i am being interrogated and having thoughts forcely imposed on me?

Don't make things harder than it is already now. Our relationship has already deteriorated 4 years ago.. it didn't happen only after my meet-up with KT. Go check back my previous entries if whoever needs to prove my point. The reason i still meet up is because i find it absolutely no point to harp on it because whatever happened has passed and does not matter to me anymore. After all, we did have good times before. But after these 2 days, it has become clearer to me that perhaps i should have drawn my line sooner.

After the sms saga, i went back to read KT's blog.. frankly speaking.. half the time i dunno what she is talking about, i dun see any names and i dun see any explicit defamations, why the big hoo-haa? Again i have to say.. the guilt perhaps?

I remained my stance since Day 1 i started blogging (whooping 5 years ago).. This is a blog that comes in the form of a link.. and if anything displeases or annoys you, the little cross is just on the top right-hand corner. Click on it, and never come back. And if your inquisitory gets the better of you... i suggest that the confrontation and accusation be kept to yourself UNTIL the facts are concrete and clear, else, just deal with it.

Gosh, why am i even bothering to explain myself? It felt like i was handling a 15 year old when i tried so hard to explain that i did not understand what KT wrote and i never agreed on anything. When I did not question her on what she wrote DOESN'T MEAN I AGREE! This is her blog and she can say anything she want AND ITS NONE OF MY BUSINESS. Fact is, as long as she is not scolding MY ancectors**, i am cool with it, and since she is not talking about me.. WHO AM I TO TELL HER WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG??? She is not a kid and she should know better and even if she doesn't, I AM NOT HER MOTHER.

Woah.. very agitated now, i can literally feel the nerve behind my neck throbbing. This is so sickening. I hope this is the end of the saga, and the next time i come back to blog, it will be on something more constructive. It is so easy to say that it is because of others' influence that has adverse impact on our friendship, i hope that there will be realization that it is the senseless persistency and ignorance that irks me. If this friendship were to reduce to lesser than what we already have now.. there is no one else to blame. I was thinking, if like what she said that it is UP TO ME to think whatever i want, then why don't she just shut it?

So now, who are you going to complain about me to? Adrian?

** Anyway i clarified with KT after the sms-saga on why she wrote those things and i was thought to be part of the conspiracy. Apparently she didn't mean what we thought it was, told her to explain herself to stop all these shit, not sure if she can be bothered though.

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Old times.

2009-08-28T10:42:00.006+08:00

Met up with a couple of friends not too long ago.. had a great time gossiping and indulging in the reminiscence of past good and bad times. Very unfortunately, this meet-up, i have to see my friend as a complete past tense of me. I can easily foretell the exact words she is going to say even before the words can come out of her mouth. I can wholly feel what she feel and think what she think.

I know many envied me and my life and how i am now , happily attached to such a wonderful man who loves me to the max. I cannot deny the fact that Adrian does love me a lot and i am really glad and appreciative that he came into my life. But people do not know all these does not come easy.. it was a difficult road to come by and i am glad we made it. Adrian had stood firm and fought together with me. I gave Adrian a chance, he took it and gratefully returned it to me many times more. 4 years ago, I disregarded the whole world too and gave HIM a chance, he thanklessly took it, crushed it and threw it right back at my face.

I have been thru bad times, VERY bad times.. but I have since moved on.. and moved on very well. If i have not left him then, i probably never left Prison Service, never entered OPS, never met Adrian, never opened my eyes to the world, never knew i can do so much more, never knew i can mature so much. But.. i do not think that anyone EXCEPT myself .. can claim any credit for that, especially NOT him.

SO STOP QUOTING ME AS AN EXAMPLE, DAMNIT!

His indecisiveness and fickle-mindedness has caused immense hurt to me.. And to continue to use “see-how-good-i-am-doing-now” as an example to justify what he did was right, and using it as an excuse to hurt another one is downright despicable, it is disgraceful to all men, it is inexcusable and it is totally unforgivable. There is not enough words i can drag out of my vocabulary to describe how lowly this behavior is... And I really think he ought to be ashamed of himself.

Stop it already, I am serious.

How about trust? Is trust not worth more than a penny in your pocket? How, after all these years can SHE still remain a thorn in other people's relationship? How is it that betrayal seems like a piece of cake? What goes through the mind of betrayers when they do what they do? This question never comes to light.

A rush of feelings came over me as i hear of the drama, even though it does not concerns me anymore. Looking at my friend who is so torn, i felt it. The confusion, the disappointment, the pain, the tears, the humiliation.. A whole whirlpool of shit in exchange for something i THOUGHT was love and hope. It was not worth it.

It has been 4 years, everyone has grown up and changed, but I have to say this rule of nature does not seem to apply to every individual. One still cannot make up his mind, and one still cannot keep her nose from poking into other people’s relationship… so on and so forth.

I like the way things are now. So if whoever I have mentioned in this entry knows who I am talking about, I’d rather not be asked and hopefully all things will remain the way it is now without deteriorating further. It doesn’t matter to me anymore, so there is no need for clarifications. Ok.. changed my mind. Whether you know or not… just don’t ask. Honestly, I kinda enjoy the superficiality now.. so let’s just keep it at that, deal?

It’s a deal. You dun have a choice. End of conversation.
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Life goes on and we all grow up.

2009-08-17T11:54:00.004+08:00

I was reading Ting's blog and i felt something. Her words touched something in me though i am not sure exactly what or why.

I wrote in FB the other day "As we all grow up, expectations and priorities change, and i wonder, was life better before?" and to my surprise, there were people who clicked the "like" button on this message, people who are friends but seldom comment much.

And i guess what i said hit something in these people too.. the reason i wrote this was due to a conversation between and old-time friend. She was planning a gathering for all of us, and she was exasperated by our friends' attitude and response towards this gathering. I innocently said "Hi" on MSN and she went on and on ranting about this matter.

My response: Indifferent.

I dun blame her for getting worked up like this, afterall, organizer is really a shitty job, i've been thru it enough times to know. The only comment i have for her is that she is too uptight and over-concerned over things like this... and this caused her to rant louder and fiercer.

Ok.

My response: Indifferent (too).

The truth is.. i dun really care. Seriously. We have all grown up and have gone seperate ways. Our priorities now is basically work and family. While meeting up with friends is sweet and heart-warming, you cannot deny that it is not of our top priorities anymore. Gone were the days when we will quarrel with our parents cuz they dun like our friends or talk bad about our friends.

I still do care about my friends and they are still important to me... A FEW OF THEM. I have so many friends that has "downgraded" into hi-bye friends and those we really do care about.. have all grown up like us and have their own priorities in life.. and we do meet up one is a blue moon to la-kopi and talk cock... it is still fun. :)

And these are the friends whom we will invite to our wedding, house-warming, baby showers etc.. if i were to invite ALL my friends on my FB.. i will probably declare bankruptcy the next day.

Memories were beautiful but they are memories after all. Right now.. we'd probably more concern about keep food on the table then having gatherings and getting angry when people dun cooperate. It sounds kinda dull and depressing as though growing up sucks.. but i guess we all gotta face it soon, if not later.

Like Ting said, we should all learn to feel bliss at every point of life, instead of whining about the past and thinking about all the "What-if"s... what is the point? Why not look forward and see how beautiful everything is in front of you? Instead of looking back and regretting, why not look forth and use the energy to think how to make it better instead?

As days goes by.. memories become vague, though i have to admit that there are things i can NEVER forget, i never look back and think "what if...". All i know that.. if i never let go.. i will never be where i am now. I thank each and everyone who left their foot-print in my life, be it a good one or a hurtful one... it is you who lead me to what i am today. Much stronger, and much happier.

Well... i just spent half an hour blogging, and right now at this very point of my life.. I SHOULD BE FREAKING STUDYING FOR MY PAPER AT 7PM!!!... and i just used half an hour of my precious moments. Gosh.. no choice.. 感触 mah..

Gotta chiong, last semester, please dun screw up.

God Bless.
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So long..

2009-07-09T16:18:00.009+08:00

Wow.. its been such a long time again since i last blogged.. Time really flies huh? Been having complains about me not blogging blah blah blah.. well.. what to do, i am a busy girl you know...

Anyways.. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Alright.. dun groan ok.. i am not putting in any wish list anymore, cuz i promised!! Besides, i have all the materialistic stuffs i want now (though i dun mind more), i have a wonderful relationship, fantastic friends, a job i enjoyed (could have been better), am on the way to becoming a uni-graduate soon (fingers-crossed), and more to come. Life is good now, but i do not take it for granted, i had my bad days, but what's goes down will come up, and vice-versa. I am at the tops now... not looking forward to my next fall, but i wish i will be prepared when it comes.

Oi.. Chiu Ting, Just to update you.. see my new haircut. Never had the courage to have bangs before, and now i have done it, and i REALLY like it. :)

There.. a new look. :)

Am going to Australia and New Zealand in less than a week's time.. am so freaking excited already. I bought a beautiful winter jacket for this trip cuz i couldn't get one from friends that fits me.. and to make my investment worthwhile, i have made my holiday plans for next year. Wahaha.. Adrian just came back from his UK training and bought me loads of lovely presents, hence, i have decided that i will go London for my next year's holidays, is it cool or what? =p

Ok, that means i have to start saving like NOW cuz adrian had explicitly expressed his reluctance to pay for my holiday again next year. By the way, my trip to Aus/NZ is fully sponsored by ah dear uncle, i am ecstatic, i am so blissed right? But then again, he kept trying to pass it off as our honeymoon. =. NO WAY DEAR!! We will plan for a one-month honeymoon to tour Europe ok.. =D

Ok.. gotta go, will blast you off with Aussie/NZ Pictures.. erm.. not here i guess... Facebook!! Stay tuned!

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Happy New Year 2009!

2009-01-02T14:57:00.002+08:00

Blogging at work... how nice. :)

Well, i guess i must make the best of the the last day i can get peace in Regus. Holiday's over.. On Monday, most of the clients will be back again.. and the never-ending war will come again until the next Christmas comes.. wonder if i will still be here. =p

Ok... New Year Resolution time... The practice every year though never kept or followed. Hee hee... Nevertheless, a practice is a practice. So here goes:-

1) Slim down

Every single year, and never fulfilled. For this year is not so bad ya... managed to slim down 2kg.. but not after putting on 5kg previously. Ok ok.. i am still trying... avoiding all rice and potato-ish stuffs (but i LOVE potatoes :( ) Eat more Veggies (SUBWAY literally everyday), no fried food (only once or twice a week), no dinner after 8pm, if not MAX.. fish soup or tofu. So torturous right. HA!

2) Be smart

Something new for this year. I always think i am damn smart one right (I still am!!).. but there is one thing i learnt after being exposed to this cold and harsh working world, to survive, you have to be "Artful". Yup.. thats the word.. i have checked my fave website for this word ok. I dun want to be evil, nor cunning (ok, maybe a little).. so yeah.. just artful. In other words, i need to fucking learn how to cover my ass. For example... if i did a mistake, and no one knows its my mistake, and it does not affect any innocent party.. THEN WHY THE HELL DO I GO ADMIT IT FOR!!!!! So fuck it.. i must be "Artful" in handling these kind of situations.. if not i can already imagine myself stuck at the lowest level for the rest of my life.

3) Learn to shut up

Ya man!! Gone are the days when i can shoot off anything and anytime i want. 24 year old already.. can't take life literally now... literally as in.. what is right is right, and what's wrong, wrong! Nope, not that way anymore.. life is more complicated than that. Gotta learn to live under a face and be part of the political game. I am determined to move up.. and i will. And before i can do that.. yeah.. learn to shut up! (And number 2 also)

4) Be nicer to Ah dear Uncle

Not that i haven been nice.. but just not nice enough.. at least not as much as he is nice to me. So.. i must be good to him, try to accomodate him as much as possible (blowjob exclusive), and to love him more than now.

5) Study harder for goodness sake

I mean.. seriously!! Degree program is no joke, especially juggling a hectic work schedule and study time-table. If u see me not blogging for the next few months.. it is actually alright and rather normal to start imagining the worst. Ok.. i take that back.. it New year leh.. gosh.. past 2 trimesters has been tougher than i thought.. and more to come as i approach my senior year. So.. good luck to me.

6) Keep in touch with my dear friends

As years gone by.. we have more and more of our own commitments.. therefore drifting away from our friends. I am glad that i still do keep in touch with some of my closer friends, or rather, THEY keeping in touch with me. I really do appreciate the gesture, and i hope that i will be able to put in more effort to be the one contacting them instead of the other way round.

7) Exercise more

Well, i am serious when i say i have "No time" to exercise.. not an excuse ok.. my life is like study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work study work.... zzZzzZzzzz.... (This is whatever time i have left) Now u get what i mean??!!??

8) Stay Happy

Life has taken its fair share of toll on me.. and after being exposed to this realistic and cruel world, i am not as positive nor as bubbly as before. I have tone down significantly over the years.. those who has known me for the longest time would have realized it... but i am still doing my best to embrace life and love it the way it is.. i hope this continues, and not to lose faith in life or in myself. I must learn to appreciate the smallest thing in life, and to learn to forgive and forget. Life can never be perfect, so why not make the best out of it??

I dunno what else to write, i just hope for the best for everyone in life... especially to my love ones, my family, my friends, please stay healthy and happy, and may this new year be better than before, and things will always be up and UP.

Please take good care. Cheers.

Realization

2008-05-27T16:41:00.004+08:00

Realization

Was talking to an old time friend two days back.. we haven spoken for quite some time.. due to our individual commitments and always-busy "schedule", which usually refers to the combination of work+ study + boyfriend + other-mundane-things...

This friend, let's call her S, was telling me her that she is having some internal struggles between her long-term boyfriend and some new guy she met. Someone younger than her, but shares the same interest as her, showing immense care and concern for her, and of course the undeniable interest in the lady, all these compared to her old-time boyfriend. Now we all know sparks-die-with-stability nonsense, and that of course men, being men, will treat their prey like diamonds and then a 180 degree change when target obtained.

Sure, we all know our facts well and good.. and never once we failed to give such advices and reminders to our friends out there who met with such dilemma. And more often than not, we, ourselves can't do any better when in the very same situation. So being the prime and proper friend i am, i proceed to give her advice and stuffs.

In the midst of all the preaching, i myself hit a point of realization. I was suddenly reminded of this relationship i've had a couple of years ago. Friends who have followed by blog will know of my depressed period, when i blog nothing but nonsense.

The thing is.. the senario she described to me seemed strangely familiar. That i had a long time boyfriend.. which sparks had died and all. Then i met this boy (let's call him K), way younger than me.. whom we shared an amazing bond. We had so much fun together.. and we eventually ended up together when me and my boyfriend broke up.

The sad thing is.. and very contradictively, the most amazing relationship ended up to be the most painful one. Yes, u guessed right.. it didn't end well AT ALL. In fact, it ended horribly. That was the time when my friends have to bear with my nonsense i wrote on my blog. I always tell my pals.. i never blame him, and i never regreted starting off the whole relationship.

Two points:

1) I never blamed him, but was there even forgiveness in the 1st place.
2) I never regreted. Do i really?

Cut the long story short.. i dunno for sure either. I never had the courage to speak to him ever since, and interestingly.. i can't seemed to remember much about what we did and said before. Just that tinge of loss once in a very long while.. like now.. and that's about all. And to think i keep harping on how amazing the relationship were. Funny. Its as though a part of my life is somehow erased from my memory.

The thing is.. two days after S told me about her dilemma, she sms-ed me again.. said she felt quite normal now.. that she chatted too much with him.. felt that he is like a small boy.. very childish. I realized another point.. 我们都长大了。

Girls being girls.. we still love attention being showered upon us.. thus discontentment about long-term relationship. And attention, is what a younger partner can offer. We did not fall in love with the "little" boys.. we merely fall in love with their innocence and sincerity. We conveniently pass it off as "love", and decide to forgo our stability. That is what we will do when we were younger. As we grow up.. we learnt how to get our priorities right. What is it we really wanted?

After that miserable period when my relationship with K ended, i have since moved on (not after a long time) and entered into another phase of my life. I have a wonderful boyfriend, which we have been thru a lot to be finally together. He does not offer me innocence, but i can feel his sincerity. There are no fanciful promises, just practical ones. We share much much more together, whereas for K.. we shared only fun and laughter. There is no extreme love and hate for him like for K, but just a comfortable longing and down-to-earth feel of security. I do not care about the past anymore, i only know i love my now-boyfriend.. what he offers me is totally different from what K can offer.. and it is exactly what i want.

爱情和面包，你回选哪一样？

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我会选择爱心牌的面包。

I hate Ah Bengs.

2008-04-28T19:05:00.010+08:00

I hate Ah Bengs, Malay Bengs especially.

disclaimer: I know the headline may have already spurred discontentment instantly in many.. but hey.. i am just voicing out my views on what i saw. So.. Shut up.

I dun mean all AH BENGs per se, but just this handful of people that falls under this category. And like i said.. especially Malay Bengs.. Well.. i knew some bengs (and lians) which are like the sweetest thing, people who fiercely protect their friends and value righteous and loyalty. BUT.. there are really some which just irks many. Like this guy whom i came across who happen to fall into the irksome group. The main lead.. a Malay Beng. I assure everyone i am not racist, (Ok.. maybe i am but not against this race) but i dun deny i do feel prejudice against Malay Bengs.

So cut the crap and jump straight to the point.. this day, i was boarding a bus and making my way to the back of the bendy-bus when someone sitting beside where i was standing start SHOUTING INTO MY EAR: and i was like, "huh? What did i do?"

"Eh BOI.. EUU TINK FUN IS IT.. HAH. STEP ON PEOPEL' LEG LIKE TAT? U THIN FARNEE AH? HAH??!! NAH BEH CHEEEE BAIIII!!!" , he shouted in a totally i-am-malay-beng-and-i-cannot-pronounce-hokkien-vulgarities-properly accent. (No, i have no spelling dysfunction, i am merely trying to illustrate his pronunciation dysfuntion. HA!)

I stared at him for a few seconds, which then i realized he wasn't referring to me, but looking towards the back of the bus.. he ignored my staring lah of course.. too busy diao-ing the guy who step on the girlfriend's leg/foot/toe. And i saw beside him..his girlfriend (i suppose) was slapping his arm asking him to drop it. So anyway.. So i moved in, found a seat, thought juz a normal release of anger. But this bugger persisted.. he stood up.. walk Ah-Beng-ishly* towards the boy, apparently a lower sec boy (wear shorts one) menacingly point to him, also Ah-Beng-ishly*:

"EH!! EUU!!! U THIK CARRRNIVARL ISIT??? HAH?? NOE NID TO SAE SOLI ONE AH??EUU GO SAE SORI TO HER NOW OK!!!!!! NAH BEHHH CHEEE BAI!!"

At that point i was like:" Did the girl got her toes squashed or something, and besides... What has carnival got to do with it? And written all over the poor boy's face was loads of question marks. Apparenly he didn't even knew he stepped on someone, dun even talk about not apologising on purpose. So this Bugger Beng (BB) continued his ranting.. with the whole bus watching the show. I feel like asking BB to grow up and get a life. So this poor little boy stood up and put down his bag, said like 10 sorrys to the other pasengers as he made his way thru the extremely crowded bus and to the BB's girl, and said sorry.. which the girl said never mind lah, i think. So this poor boy walk back to his seat with BB walking past him (to get to the front) diao-ing him all the way.

Now.. if you are BB's girlfriend.. how would u feel?

FUCKING EMBARRASSING RIGHT???!!???

Imagine the whole bus looking at the show and thinking the girl is precious and bimbo she is and how marshmallowy her toes are. Childish girls will think this BB is yummy macho man who protect the girlfriend and is oh-so-sweet and brave. Mature girls will ignore him the rest of the evening and sebsequently dump him the next day, which is a very light sentence for thinking as though that disgracing himself is not enough.. must drag the girlfriend in.

The girl was wearing a school uniform, look very 16-ish.. and dun look malay at all. Come to think of it.. Bugger Beng didn't look very Malay nor Chinese, like in between. As in, he looks like Chinese and dresses like Malay. You know lah.. Malays go out as if have dress code like that. So i assume he is some Chinese boy who hangs out with Malay Bengs and try to actso like the Malay friends, which is mainly the irritating part.. ACT!!

I think at that point of time.. BB's girl (if she is the mature type) must have wished that she can dig a hole and bury her head in.. imagine she has to endure the stares of people for the next 5 stops. Totally embarrassing.. i feel sorry for her lor. I was so tempted to walk towards the girl and ask her if she paiseh, or why not give him a tight slap or dump him or something.. but i didn't.. i scared BB punch me and i am wearing my specs.. and i dun want to cut my face...

ANYWAY.. talking about Bengs.. after the nice drama on board.. i walk towards my block and while waiting for the lift.. i saw this mini-beng (Chinese, i think 15 yrs old) sitting at the void deck.. one hand holding a litted cigarette, the other hand holding a traffic light (the 3 colour one) ice-cream AND a packet tissue paper. So he was concentrating on eating his ice cream, and half the time the cigarette is smoking itself. erm.. My point is.. so TAK-match lah. This little boy must have not realized yet that cigarettes are bloody expensive nowadays.

Oh by the way... Ah Beng-ish-ly* means..

Of course BB looks much worse.

So anyway.. i so hope Bugger Beng gets dump. Totally deserves it!

post note: I repeat, I am not being racist.. just a wee bit of stereo-typing and VERY pissed, with these people, particularly this Bugger Beng. So shut ur trap if ur mentality level does not allow you to understand what i am trying to say here. Besides.. what are retards doing here anyway??

The whereabouts of copycat blogger.

2008-04-01T14:04:00.003+08:00

It appears that copycat blooger has now decided to "relocate" her copied works into another blog, where ppl can access ONLY if they are invited.

Haha.. SCARED RIGHT!!! Neh neh ni poo poo!! *childish*

Well.. at least now she can officially copy people's writings without the fear of being bombarded back lah. I dun care, so long i dun see it.

Copycats will go nowhere cuz they have nothing. No creativity, no originality, no respect FOR others, no respect FROM others.

Dear Miss Copycat, enjoy copying in ur own pathetic world. Ur friends are the (only) parties who willingly think ur pea brain can produce those bombastic words.

Yes leh.. i am in a bad mood today, so i finding trouble.. cannot? Who ask her to piss me off 1st.

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Apologies

2008-03-20T11:05:00.005+08:00

I really must apologize to my readers, (if there is any left by now, that is) for the blank out since October last year. Very very busy leh. Lots of going ons in life, lots of ups and downs. Everytime i feel inspired to write something, i think of the time i have to spend to write the entries (usually quite long esp for angry posts), contemplated, and decide against it. So it goes on again and again, without knowing, 5 months have passed. Woah.. now i can really feel it when people says "Time flies".

Will still not be blogging here as often like i used to, but that doesn't mean i have stopped writing. I am writing somewhere else.. thus lazy and no time to bother about here liao. LOL.

Anyway.. i was presenting my work to my boss the other day, and i'd like to share the experience of sitting in with the BIG boss.

Few things i observed/learnt from the presentation today:

1) The word "proposed" is extensively used.

2) Bosses dun like to monitor progress, they like to see the product, and it better be a good one.

3) NEVER talk louder than your boss, no matter how soft they are.

4) NEVER say no. Even if you cannot do it, say YES. Later on if you really cannot do it, you can always say you have checked with the experts, and they say NO.

5) NEVER argue with your boss. When your boss something, you may "raise your concern". If he repeats his answer, you better shut up.

Oh My, what a fruitful experience.

Disclaimer: No offense to whoever will "accidentally" stumble upon this humble blog of mine. It has nothing to do with who ssaid, just what i have seen and felt.

Random Contest.

2007-10-16T01:53:00.000+08:00

VOTE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE...........

Some random contest i saw online.

If i win.. i may get one year's supplies of Kotex. Muahahaha.. that will save me quite a lot wor. I promise i will share.. IF I WIN.. so vote for me.

Each IC number can only vote once a day wor. So go register!!!! And ladies.. u can get free sample of new Kotex Ultra slim blah blah.. for guys.. i know u dun need Kotex in anyway.. but fret not.. register, then can get free samples for ur gf, sis, frens etc.. but remember.. the most holy reason of getting ur IC number tracked by KOTEX.. is to VOTE for me.

Ok.. i know the Hwee Ping girl is very chio.. i thought so too lah, but hey.. u guys dunno her. You know me. You know me and you love me.. so Vote for me. You vote for her she also dunno you one.. Besides she is already number one.. no need u guys to vote liao lah. so vote for me.. and i will know u love me.. and i share my 1 yr supply with you if i win ok. =)

There is no direct link to vote for me (stupid web designer).. so u gotta go to the webbie.. and look for my picture, double check my name is CANDACE. (Got one Candice inside also.. dun give ur precious vote to the wrong person...) Then u can vote liao!! I think on the 2nd page or something. With ur help.. it can be pushed to the 1st page.. and also eaiser for u guys to vote next time mah.. hee hee..

Actually.. if u look into the pictures people uploaded.. and u will think that it will be better off voting for me. The number one super chio girl dun say lah.. other then that.. not many are worth your votes.. even those with the 2nd or 3rd most votes lor!! (u go to the webbie u will know)

So vote for me lah... =)

CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE...........

Pointless entry.

2007-10-07T09:40:00.000+08:00

Its been so long, and I've been lazy.

Sorry. But nothing interesting happened leh. Copycat blog also very quiet.. so i got nothing much to write. Ok, maybe i have. Something.. ok, MANY things (i am so fickle-minded!) crossed my mind these few days.

One incident was.. a colleague of mine.. was unable to clear her probation period and was asked to leave. I think the Boss must have received (a lot of) "feedbacks" from the rest of us with regards to this particular woman. Apparently the boss carried out some kind of survey we were not aware of the purpose. And survery showed that, the WHOLE team.. no one wants to work with her. So judging from the "feedbacks" and survey outcome, he decided not to confirm her and asked her to leave.

I thought, she totally deserves it. Cuz she is selfish, calculative, petty, defensive, self-centered etc etc... i always felt that, i have worked with people like tat before, i myself may also fall into one of the above-mentioned categories, but NEVER have i worked with someone with ALL the combinations in one body. Its pretty amazing actually.

No, that's not my point. My point is, like me, no one likes to work with her, most of them do not approve her attitude and approach, but.. my point is, how many of us told her?

Not everyone has the previlege to get the "i-dun-like-this-about-you" phrase. I am not talking about the assholes who hated the whole world except themselves. I am talking bout normal people around us, who genuinely likes us, but does not approve of something we do, which we can change and be a better person.

The whole world is so hypocritical. Everyone smiles and jokes with just about anyone. We get along well with almost everybody, but, how many of them genuinely likes us. I thought about the survery Boss done.

"If you have to choose 2 persons to work with as a team, who would you choose?"

I made my choice of course, but i also wonder, how many of them picked me? I am not a pain the the ass, but i am not exactly the nicest person around to work with either. Its sad when this kind of things happen. I'm sure everyone has some bad habits that people dun approve of. No one tells me they dun like me, and it "seemed" that i can get along with everyone. But imagine when they are asked who they prefer to work with, and i'm not on their list.

I never knew the result lah, i'm not going to ask around either. No point mah, not as if i ask they will tell the truth. Everyone is so hypocritical (have i said that already?) including me. Which brings me to another issue.

There was this boy i was really really close to. We have been thru countless hurtful and discouraging remarks from fucking insenstive busybodies. And yet, we heck-cared them and carried on with our lives and stood strong against their words. Well at least i thought so lah. But i guess, all these were just illusions. Somehow due to something, someone (Maybe me), the bond broke, and everything we even went thru all boils down to nothing. This is the very same guy whom i got so depressed and lost. I was heartbroken then.

But thar's not the point. My whining phase is long over. What runs thru my mind is.. from then till now, i've been constantly reading his blog. I'm not stalking him, but just usual blog-hopping around my ring of friends. And what i noticed is, from the miserable period until i moved on and found a better someone, form then till now, he nevr, NEVER wrote about me, about us. Nothing at all. Sad huh? To think nothing about us was worth mentioning. And i always thought the bond between us is so strong that no one, and nothing can come between us.

I guess i was wrong, which reminds me again i haven reach my main point. -.-

MY POINT IS.. he never told me what went wrong, or what he feels disfavor about me. Maybe i was ahorrible friend, but he never told me anything, so i automatically assumed i am good. But yet nothing was worth mentioning about me. Very dreary fact to register.

Which ALSO brings me to another point (woah, many points!!). I realised i am so bo sim one. From Sec sch, to poly, to workplace.. how many promises to keep in touch made but never kept. Everyone always said the "ok-find-one-day" stories, but the one day has not been found yet (so far). Ok.. for those who kena my "ok-find-one-day" story before, i am sorry, and i will make extra effort to meet up with u guys.

Up to this point, i realised, although i said a few point got me pondering, and i keep mentioning with each point brings me to another, but, until now... my 1st point tak-link with my 2nd point, and 2nd tak-link with 3rd point, and the whole entry tak-link to each other's point, so on and so forth.

Pointless entry.

My New Toy.

2007-09-05T02:27:00.000+08:00

I got a new toy.

Went to Comex the other day. And QR got me a new toy.

Nokia 6300 - from QR, wth love.(lots of it!)

Slim, chic, style... you name it. Nope, my current phone is not dead.. just that i set eyes on this super chio phone, and QR very nicely bought it for me as a Christmas (??) present. Haha.. I dun really need it, but QR knows i like it, so he bought it for me. So sweet of him. And as per requested.. an entry for him, 1st sms received, 1st sms made, 1st call received and 1st call made, all specially reserved (and claimed) for QR. =)

Am i lucky or am i lucky? No, not the phone, but of having someone who dotes on me so absolutely much. I feel bad for making him spend so much though.. so..

To QR: Alright.. i'll pay back in kind. *wink*

Note: Now shut up about the phone not good and cheap and no big deal and whatever blah.. To me its BIG deal, and QR is even BIGGER deal to me. This is my blog, this entry is for him and if you dun like it... G-O-A-W-A-Y!! Savvy? And fine.. go ahead and bitch about me (some people just cannot keep their mouth shut) being slutty and materialistic and show off or whatever blah.. if you are so good, get someone to buy you one, and i try not to bitch.

Little things in life.

2007-09-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

Do not ignore the tiniest and simplest things.. for you will never know what will happen if you miss the tiniest detail.

Just a short entry before i go sleep.

I almost lost my beloved Braun Buffel wallet the other day. I was out with QR.. and we were supposed to go ulu palia place to meet someone.. and very nicely, we got lost. Seriously LOST like nobody's business. When in the end we realised the place is only 2 MRT stations away from where we are, and we took almost 2 hours to find it. Thanks lor QR.. haha.. i dunno which directory he referred. Whatever it is.. damn not reliable. (Ya ya.. he's going to say he need his Nokia Navigator again...)

So.. anyway.. we were on the dunno-what bus in some secluded place (where all the big-ass houses stand) and i was having this super bad nauseating headache.. So.. the bus went and i sat there, giddy and all, then SUDDENLY QR said reach liao..

I jumped out of my seat and ganjiong-ly make my way to the door to alight. At the door, i dig and dig and DIG my bag for my wallet so i can tap my card. And i desperately try to search for my wallet in my bag, trying to get thru the obstacles in my bag, for eg, ipod,perfume,makeup pouch,tissue,keys etc etc.. I CANNOT FIND!!!! (it happens quite often due to the condition of my bag and the contents in it)

i finally decide to give up when i realised the driver was contemplating to drive or not. Well.. i can see feel with the door opening and closing, and the bus jerking due to driver keep stepping and releasing the accelerator. I also realised the stares of the other passengers onboard.

Burning from embarrassment.. i decided to just forego the eighty cents and just alight without tapping my card. Not tapping my card when i alight is nothing new to me liao.. so why not another time. And thanks to QR, THANKS TO MY PRECIOUS QR, he told me, no, look for it, the driver can wait, dun waste money.

After another round of digging, i realised that the wallet is not in my bag. And i went back to my seat and found my beloved Braun Buffel wallet lying under the seat. Wah.. I tell you.. i almost burst into tears of relief man. My BB wallet is only a month old, ALMOST LOST IT!!! So.. conclusion is.. dun think eighty cents is no big deal. If QR had allowed me to let go the insignificant eighty cents, i would have lost my precious wallet, and the love that came together with it.

Boring entry, holds a lot of meaning though.. at least for me.

p/s: psst.. copycat blog very quiet. *giggles*

Somebody loves my blog.

2007-08-13T04:07:00.000+08:00

Somebody loves my blog..

Yeah.. she sure does.

And for that love she has for me... i DEMAND she pay me a justifiable amount for bloody copyright!!! i HATE people copying me. If you cannot write, DON'T!! Do a podcast or something, let people have something to puke about. Dun freaking copy!!! My friend told me: "She write like you sia..."

EXCUSE ME.. no lor.. she dun WRITE like me. She merely copied and paste. Guys, you know she actually copied a paragraph, exact words and all, from my very 1st entry since i started my blog, which was almost 3 yrs ago. How crazy is tat? One or two lines is ok.. but one whole chunk is not!! (and its not only 1 or 2 chunks, mind you!) Totally no respect for the writer.

This woman is absurd i tell you. Still childish, still crazy, still stupid. Close down her older blog and changed to a new one with a blog address that no one would have guess even if they want to follow up on the previous tagboard-stalker incident. You know why, cuz its LOUSY, plain lousy, no one would have guessed she changed to this address.

And as usual.. she ran out of creativity juice and LIFTED the entire paragraph of my entry on HER, and used it on another person. She can't write, and she took the easy way out.

Copy>paste>change names>change senario

Bloody lazy. Not to mention stupid!! People who reads her blog most probably read mine. By doing tat above steps, she simply announce to the whole world how pathetic she is. She sounds and look so loserish. Oh sorry, she IS loserish*.

Oh.. digressing a little, QR said if i put in the word "loserish" and we would most likely see it in her blog for her next entry. Now let' see. Since i put in this paragraph, she most probably won't. I hope she won't too, cuz if she does, i might, in fact, i think, everyone will die of laughing. Why? Cuz if she does, she no longer fits into the category of "stupid" , she is retarded.

I so wanting to link between my blog and her blog to let people see that what she wrote in HER blog is not her writing.. its MINE!!! Then again.. it sounds so... so... i dunno. Like i am bullying 小妹妹 like tat. But i angry you know.. who wouldn't? I am swallowing it now. This woman, sorry, erm.. little girl better stop her nonsense. I can do very mean things when i get pissed off. Like for examples... boosting both HER and MINE readership by 50% with a little link between our blog, or puting in the screen shots of the 1st AND the 2nd copycat entries she published. One dun need to be too smart to know that its a copycat blog. Just one look they know its not her style. My friend (who told me bout her new blog) said when she was reading it, she got confused and double checked the address bar to see if she accidentally went to http://www.nickwind.blogspot.com/ or not. I feel so much want to show the similarity to everyone.

I am not a a saint, holy and kind. I am NEVER a peaceful person by nature. But i guess as i grow older, i grew out of the "bullying-people" era. I generally do not like to put people down or degrade people.. BUT!!! I can be a big meanie if i am provoked. And as i am typing this entry now.. i am in a super mean mood. You have been warned.

This bugger, let's call her 'C'. Eee.. i am ashamed to have the same initials as her. Erm.. let's call her 'Q' then.. EH.. nono.. same initials as my QR, he wouldn't appreciate that. hmm.. oh oh.. let's call her 'B' then.. since its the nickname everyone call her as.

Everytime i blog about this kinda topics.. i keep getting myself confused. I'll start blogging as a 3rd person, then along the way..i get real agitated and pissed and i start speaking directly. ?? ok.. i am already confused now.. but you guys get what i mean. This entry is for 'B', per se.. but also to you guys for some entertainment lah. I know i am real malicious here..but can't blame me.. she started it. I am already kind not to put in her name and her blog and all the screen shots i collected.

I just read her blog.. nice.. copied again. (what's new?) Oh great.. now i am a "faithful" reader of her blog liao. Cuz i keep looking out if she has copied more paragraphs off my entries and pass it off as her own, so i can add on to my collection of screenshots under a folder named "copycat blog". Anywayz.. her blog.. something about her wishlist. Read it thru.. twice.. not her style, not her language, not her attitude, not her maturity. Probably copied and paste from another "something-something.blogspot.com". Usual habit. Everyone makes wishlist on their blog.. fair enough. But i got a sneaky feeling she copied and pasted and only change the items. haha.. only for her.

She said let her be a bimbo while she rattle on her wants and don'ts.. i want to laugh when i read that. Bimbo generally means a very attractive woman, but inept. Pretty and sexy, but brainless.. so to speak. But too bad, she only falls into the latter. Oh pls.. my dear.. you are definitely not a bimbo. =)

Oh well.. she needs more shoes? Cuz hers are spoiling very quickly.. due to the frequency of wearing. Haha.. trust me.. its not the frequency.. its the weight.

Sometimes i do wonder... what goes thru her mind when she copied my phrases from my blog and tried to pass it on as her own? Wah.. lagi better.. after i published this post, she published another one (copied and pasted, of course) and make it seemed as if i copied her blog eh? Do these things go thru her mind? Is it just attention seeking, or what they call a problematic child? I dunno man.. we shall see.

P/s: Whoever wants to bitch about me being mean and stuffs.. pls.. if you would have read what she wrote, you would have done the same, maybe worse. How would you like if someone just copied your work. I know its no big deal, its juz a blog, no money also blah blah.. but HEY!! Its my stuffs leh. Its blog-tiquette lor.. its respect, she has NONE!! Not one or two lines leh i repeat.. its whole bloody paragraphs lor.. you like it? DUN BLUFF. Whatever lah.. if u never kena you wouldn't understand my frustration. If you wanna comment.. you better be on my side. If not, pls shut up.

So excited!!

2007-08-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

OOooohhHHH.. i am SO excited. (Check out my tagboard!)

i wrote a nice long entry (and very mean!) for my biggest fan.. and decided to published it after my birthday post, as not wanting to spoilt the whole entry. However, QR told me not to publish the entry.. cuz its not nice. as she is just a "little" girl.. psst.. "little" as in age, not the mass. Her mass is nowhere near little. Anywayz.. for a while, i was thinking, alright, maybe i should just listen to him, maybe she was just being childish, or lonely, or derived of attention, or.. blah blah blah... But HEY!!! Everyone knows without me having to say, or rather, type a single word. So its not my imagination after all... Ooohh.. this is so exciting.

Maybe i should just published the long and nasty entry i wrote. Tell me guys... what say you?

Well well.. now copy-cat blogger is so popular and so widely-known and sought-after.. everyone is a faithful reader of her blog now.. checking out her blog for more copycat phrases, i mean, paragraphs.. Everyone is her fan now.. me too..!! =)

Anyone wanna check out this (in)famous blog..?? Call me, or call anyone whom you know(tagboard), anyone will gladly, GLADLY furnish you with the details. What? Too troublesome?? Waste handphone bill?? Ok ok.. i hear your complains.

Maybe, just.... MAYBE, i shall put in the link to her (in)famous in my next entry. *wink*

Super Late!!

2007-08-07T02:37:00.000+08:00

Super late.. i know!! Haven wrote for so freaking long. Been real busy... Its like one whole week of celebration for my birthday like tat. So many programs lined up.. Haha..

Actually nothing much to update also. Birthday this year was rather quiet. A lot quieter than the past years. But this year's birthday is still fabulous nevertheless.No more fancy themes, no more crazy parties, no more excessive preparations. Just dinner, dinner and more dinner. Lesser people as years go by.. and we can more or less tell who are the ones who will still stick around until the end.

Many many thanks to u all darlings who did everything you can to make me happy. You know who you are.. and i love u all. But i am such an ungrateful twerp.. till now i haven sent out my thank-yous.. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? I know you cannot. Me neither. =( Sorry lah.. busy leh.. =( Forgive me.

Anywayz.. just some random photos and thank-yous for this entries..
(all photos can click to enlarge)

Birthday 22/07/07

Lovely dinner at Pizza Hut. Thanks to organizer, ChiuTing (i think!).. haha.. and all those who turn up despite your busy schedule. Also thanks to the few who have the decency not to turn up and spoil the whole evening. (For e.g. the copycat blogger, you know who you are. I shall blog about you very soon.) The dinner was for the celebration of 3 birthday kids, who have our birthdays on consecutive days.

Me, Jasmine and Teck Liang.

Very yummy dinner at Pizza hut, a treat from all the lovely people present tat evening. i even picked up a $1 gold coin before leaving the restaurant. (Ooohh.. i love $1 coins.) And after the dinner.. i went supper with Weifang. Simple coffee-shop meal.. but we were chatting and all.. and by 12 midnight.. sms-es started flooding in. It was wonderful feeling. After the dinner.. i was acting like a spoilt princess, i INSISTED i wanted to take the new comfort "sonata" cuz i haven tried although it was launched so many months ago. And i got one. I am such a lucky girl. But..

Mango cake. -.-

Chiu ting conveniently forgot about my strawberry shortcake. ='( She said she "thought" i told her someone else is getting for me. sob. But nope.. i am not complaining. She is wonderful already. =)

Birthday 23/07/07

But never mind.. next day, another treat from a long-time friend, Xiau Yin, at Sakae sushi. It sucks as usual.. what else can we expect from them? Its the company that counts. And guess what she got for me..

YEAH!!

I told her CT forgot.. =(, and she bought one for me. Hee hee.. i still remember many many years back, she tried to buy a cake for me late at night, when all decent shops has closed. And XY went to a cake shop and pleaded the auntie to sell her a cake, she still must bend her back to go thru the half-descended shutter. Haha... embarrassing, but sweet. A wonderful friend.

1st time eating cake with chopsticks. LOL.

I didn't even realised. =)

Later in the evening.. met QR and went for nice dinner (Another treat!!!) at Fish and Co, upon my request of course. Lovely lovely dinner.. what's better than spending a birthday evening with your love? Fish and Co at glass house has a stage, as you all know, and once in a while there will be live performance. And guess what, the band does not usually perform on Monday and it WAS Monday. BUT!!!!!!!! Somehow on that day the band decide to perform. Told ya i was a lucky girl. Heh heh.. QR even requested for them to sing me a birthday. So nicceeee..

Happy!!

And i've got ice-cream.. on the house.

From the lovely ppl of Fish and Co glass house.

And tell me, how many of you can get a man to put on lipstick for you?? (On HIS lips, not mine.. Duh!!) I can!! *giggles*

Thank you darling!!!

That's a card with him saying he love me, btw.. *blush*

Beautiful evening. Thank you QR!! *muakz*

Birthday 24/07/07

Another round of celebration the next day at OPS.. for me and Gavin.

Mango cake again.. but this one is SUPER yummy.

OPS warriors. =)

Ladies night out at ZOUK.

Chiong night.. also as according to Jasmine's request, for her birthday.

The ladies.

The toilet at Great world is damn chio.. we couldn't resist. haha..

On the dance floor.

.
Super like this photo

Was a really lovely night out with the girls. Haven went clubbing for so long. Zouk was fine. Could be better i guess. Retro night was really funny while we try to mimik the dancers' moves. Phuture has great music.. but its impossible la. So bloody packed. Can't even dance properly. A bit sianed out.. but nevertheless... i'm sure none of us mind going again. =)

Batam trip.

Went to Batam for a one-day course with Azmi. Nothing much, just some talks and lots of food. But i'd like to intro the resort we went to. HARRIS RESORT. Can consider going there if you guys looking for a relaxing trip.

Beautiful.

Me and Azmi

Err.. not quite the resort. hee hee..

Night out

Another clubbing night out with Murti, Balint and Erick. Went to Insomnia. Really fun. Nice band, nice music. Beautiful night, even beautiful people. =)

Me, Balint., Murti and Erick.

BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!

*i shall put in the paragraphs from my wishlist entry continue from there. =)

1) Cash
2) Cash
3) Cash
10)Cash

Not much, but i till get it at least. $2.50 each. haha..

*5) Braun Buffel wallet - My previous one is gone case liao. And my current wallet is some CHEAPO one i bought in JB and I USED IT FOR 2 YEARS LIAO. Good enough reason to change? YES? Ok then.. i wan one in either black or brown, with only one fold, normal palm size, and i want the Braun Buffel "mak tou" (logo) to be a cow, not the metal bar. Do you know what kind that i wan or not? No? Nvm.. juz pass me the cash. (Just trying to help. =/)

Beautiful. Super liked it.

Very very nice wallet from QR. Almost exactly the same of what i imagined. Lovely. And it comes with 10 bucks!! Which effectively makes up my item 1,2,3 and 10. Which also explains the above. QR is so thoughtful. =)

However, much distress was caused due to this wish item. Sis and Vanessa very kindly bought me a BB wallet as well. Also one that i SUPER fancy lor. I was in such a dilemma which i played with the idea of keeping both, which is stupid, cuz one (normal) person absolutely do not need 2 expensive wallet. Thus, after much stress and sweat, the 2nd BB wallet was exchanged for THREE items that i super like. NICE!!

Thanks sis and Van. Loved them.

The BB photo is obviously photoshopped. Didn't managed to get the photo of the 2nd wallet, thus have to resort to this. But i thought it was quite cute. Haha..

*6) A Pair of wheels!! - Did u guys know.. i picked up roller-blading recently.. Uncle Tan taught me how to, and after 2 lessons, i am half a pro liao.. hee hee.. (Ok FINE!! no one said it.) For those who chip in to fulfil one of my wish for my 21st bday, yeah.. that beautiful blue guitar. I AM SORRY!!! I am so ashamed of myself.. really. But this time is different.. i already picked it up and i know how to do it already, and I LOVE IT. I promise i will make good use this time. It is quite costly i know (i mean the good ones), cannot afford?? Hmm... ok nvm then.. juz the left side will do.. i'll buy the right side myself. The other way also can. Err.. u noe how to buy or not? Erm.. i also dunno leh.. nvm.. juz pass me the cash, i'll ask the pro to go buy with me. =p

MY WHEELS!!!!!!!

From, erm.. let me see: Chiuting/JiaXing/KaiTee/Jasmine/TeckLiang/RenJie/KaiLun/WeiFang/JiaJun/Siti/Parveen

THANK YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it love it LOVE IT!! Its soo beautiful... now i can.. YEAH!!! So happy. =D

*7) A boyfriend - Must be tall, gorgeous, rich and absolutely sweet.. and have the ability to make me happy and tolerate me. He must not be a wuss.. rich as one is.. BE USEFUL. (useful but not rich I also dun wan) ahhh.. not forgetting.. must have a sense of humor and dump tat ego.. I’d like to be the dominant one. =) --> “Mission Impossible 4"

I think i have wor.. Very very tall, not exactly gorgeous *giggles* but looks very smart when he dress up. Always making me happy and always giving in to me. Not super rich, but still can get me a BB wallet and a lappy (next time must ask for a house or something. haha). Definitely useful.. Very clever, very knowledgable, always teaching me new things. And he always makes me laugh. =)

*8) A Tattoo - I really wan one ok. One of last year's wish also.. but never done.. cuz no guts, and no MONEY!! Hope to get one done this year.. no, maybe two. You can pass me the cash too. wahaha..

Courtesey of QR! -_-"

*9) A laptop - Ok lah.. I WISH right..? I know lah.. juz put in to make up my numbers for my 10 items nia.

Lappy!!!

I wish.. and I GOT IT!!! Ok lah... blogged about it before.. mutual gains and stuffs. Thanks a lot to QR again. He really did a lot for me this birthday, and i love him for that. =)

And other things..

Another big bottle... NICEEEEEEE!!! From Poh Meng and Junaidah.

From Kainam. Whom i dun understand why came and pass the guys the present and "rush" home for no apparent reason. I haven even arrived lor. Haiz.. Alcohol and chocolate.. can i complain? ok.. i shall not. Still thanks, for the effort. =)

Not forgetting Fang qi, who got me a really beautiful necklace with a butterfly pendant. I LOVE butterflies. but i never get to take the picture, too busy. =/ but.. I love it. Thank you so much.

And of course, i got my Strawberry shortcake, i-love-you card, cash (QR and mama's angbao) and most important of all.. all thesse lovely people in my life. I love you guys. It was a wonderful 23rd birthday.

All in all... 23rd birthday was unforgettable. I know who loves me.. and i love them too. I was telling QR that i always make my wishlist and people always ty their best to fulfill them. And every passing year, my wishlist gets more and more demanding.. and every year, i still get them. I was thinking... very soon, my pals won't be able to meet my expectations anymore.. and as the years go by, no one will be free to bother bout me anymore, and i will be SUPER disappointed if my wishlist does not get fulfilled. And QR being QR, told me, that why dun i let my wishlist stop this year. (I hear ppl's whoop of joy!) And i will ALWAYS know that my friends love me dearly and i am in their heart. Logical. Besides, i believe tat i will soon be able to get my own wants with my own ability, i dun need people to buy them for me anymore.

23 year old me.. IS a happy girl. =)

Happy Birthday!

2007-07-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Happy 23rd birthday to me!!!

Busy busy busy!!!

I got many many things on... maciam one whole week of celebration like that. Sorry if you guys haven got my thank-you-sms or notes.. i am so sorry. You know i love you guys.. thanks for everything.

Will blog soon. Promise!!

Till then.. take good care y'all.. =)

Looking forward.

2007-07-09T02:58:00.000+08:00

Imagine this:

You stay in a hotel, and you needed some glue to stick some papers. Thus you called down to the Front Desk and they say they dun have glue.

Then you need to use the hotel's scanner to scan in some documents, and you call down to the Front Desk, but too bad, the scanner is down. Thus, you cannot scan ur documents.

Then, you need to print some documents from your thumbdrive, thus you make a trip to the Front Desk, and proceed to plug in your thumb drive, and then click "Print". Great, the documents start printing page by page.. After finish printing.. you take it out and realised, the documents were almost unreadable, cuz printer no ink.

Then, Front Desk person very nicely offered to reprint in the office, with another printer. So you make ur way to the office, and wait for the person to log in.. and proceed to plug in the thumbdrive. And guess what, Exel program has error reading documents.

Finally, the program starts working and managed to print the necessary documents, thank god readable this time. Then you request for the previous documents that was not properly printed, to be shredded, cuz they are private and confidential. And.. the shredder is not working.

-.-

Tell me.. how suay can one person get? (not me, my guest)

Anywayz..

MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!! Like.. really soon?

I have got a laptop..(thks QR!!), and QR is picking up my wallet too. I have a boyfriend. (i think) But i absolutely will not mind another one that fits into the bill like in the wishlist..haha.. Now left with few other items... which definitely boils down to one single thing.. muahaha.. the most practical thing in the whole of the universe. heh heh.. Why? i am juz trying to ease the trouble of you guys mah.. no need to rack ur brains to think of what to get me. You all know now what i want.. or rather, what i need. haha..

Gonna go out have some fun with the gang. Haven been to a club for so freaking long. haha.. Though not really looking forward to 23 years old.. but still.. its MY BIRTHDAY! aahaha.. so happy. Very grown up le.. life has become much MUCH more complicated then before. Many things are not innocent like before.. and many not within my control. Another year gone.. another year less. One more year older.. not much time left. I pray for good days ahead.

Oh.. Dun forget my strawberry shortcake ok.

Oh Oh... and the card saying you love me. =)

Looking forward!!!

I love jellybeans!!

2007-06-29T11:43:00.000+08:00

I LOVE JELLYBEANS!!

MARCHE had moved to Vivocity wor.. i really like dining at Marche but its like bloody expensive. Anyway.. i heard it has moved to Vivocity and i am so looking forward to go.. and finally yesterday i went. However, it didn't turn out as expected leh. Service standard dropped a lot... so does the food quality and variety.. and the whole place is so cramped, i cannot get to another stall without knocking into someone. Quite disappointed leh. Bu then.. MARCHE has a lot of good-looking people though.. like they only hire people wih the looks. (with a few black sheeps lah!) My eyes had a finer feast than my tummy, haha..

anyway..

I LOVE JELLYBEANS!!!

You know this big big candy store called "CANDY EMPIRE" at Vivocity? Its such a lovely place.. it always makes me feel so happy being there. Can't say the same for my wallet though. But but... LOOK..

JELLYBEANS!!!

I purposely go down Vivocity for Marche AND jellybeans. Jellybeans are so so SO nice!! Have many many different flavors, (no earwax and vomit flavor though) so fun!! But its so bloody expensive. Tat bottle of beans cost 20 over bucks.. although its payday.. i super heart-pain to buy it. End up QR bought it for me!

Its HUGE lor... i pour out a nice packet for QR to bring home.. and after that.. the level barey went down an inch. Now i know why is diabetes problem so serious nowadays. Cuz jellybeans is so sweet and so nice its juz impossible to resist.

I am so happy. Ain't QR just the most sweetest thing? Definitely sweeter than jellybeans!! =)

.

I am giving up??

2007-06-24T18:59:00.000+08:00

I am giving up??

No way!! NO FREAKING WAY!!!

This is absurd. This is insane. I cannot even handle a "Mr Ho"?

This is totally UNACCEPTABLE!!

Spent quite some time trying to "start" on my "new job". Emailed to me by my "boss". One whole list. Crazy! Thought he's gonna give me some good training before i start. I haven even got a chance to ask him questions. Ok.. i am hao lian, a bit lah, thinking i can do it myself，so i start calling lah!!

SCREWED UP!!!

NO.. "Take a deep breath Candace.. Relax, you can do it." *breath*

OK.. we shall stop for today. I will start again tml morning. I can do it.. and I WILL DO IT!!

别小看我！！ I WILL NOT GIVE UP ONE OK!!!

其实，是不想跟钱过不去，也是因为不想让他失望。相信我，我可以的！

努力！！

Have you ever??

2007-06-21T03:09:00.000+08:00

Have you ever had something you wanted so badly to hao lian to the whole world?

Well.. I HAVE!!

I HAVE A LAPTOP ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

Yes yes.. item number 9 on my wish list fulfilled (and this is the 1st blog entry using it!!)!! Proudly sponsored by QR. Ok lah.. terms and conditions apply. NO!! 我没有出卖色相！！This is what he call the "mutual gain".. i get to keep and use this laptop as long as i help him do what he needs me to do. And i get more along the way.. wah.. Long-term gain for me also. Hee hee... So, yeah. MUTUAL gain.. i get wat i want and he get what he needs. no lah.. NOT my body, (maybe he already has it..) err hem!! Bleah..!

Anywayz.. this laptop is SO pretty lor.. it runs on Windows VISTA Home premium.. and windows vista is SO pretty lor.. but i am super unfamiliar with it, need a lot of getting-use-to. But i tell you, Vista design is so chic, so stylish, and according to QR, it is very much like MAC. But who cares (at least i dun)!! haha.. and it has a CrystalBrite LCD, not the usual matt screen. (Come on peeps, VISUALISE!!) it has built-in DVD writer, card reader, bluetooth and a lot of blah blah (blah blah=technical terms) specifications which i dun understand, but they are enough to make QR go "wow.. wooh.. wah" over them. And he keep saying he wants to exchange with me.

QR is so super good at haggling lor. He managed to squeeze this super cute salesperson name Boon Chye (what a name for that cute face.. *frowns*) to give a discount, err.. or did he? I dun really know man. half the time i was yawning, i am allergic to technical terms and haggling process lah, they make me yawn, ALOT. So anyway, some time pass without me being aware, end up i got a much better laptop then the intended one, with an expensive webcam and expensive mouse, for a really good price. (i think.. *yawnz*) HAHA!! i am so happy...now i have a chio lappy, MUCH chio-er and faster and better than QR's. I can't even play a CD on his. Muaahahaha...

p/s: The above paragraph serves no extra purpose other than to make QR jealous (Cute salesman and prettier-than-his lappy). Cuz when he gets jealous he will love me more. =)

Well.. After all the above, what i wanted to say is, the lappy is not the thing that i so badly wan to hao lian to the world. The one and only thing i REALLY REALLY want to hao lian to the world, is QR himself. However, due to moral (and safety) constraints, i am unable to. Anyhow.. Whey.. Dear QR.. Thank you very much lah!! I really love this lappy, and i will try my best to give u wat u need. (wa lau, so suggestive!) *wink*

The long awaited..

2007-06-16T20:56:00.000+08:00

BIRTHDAY WISHLIST!

I have been receiving feedbacks from darling Chiu ting all throughout the year, to STOP making wish list already.. cuz every year my expectation gets higher, and they already cannot afford liao. Muahahaha..

p/s: I blogged in my wishlist juz for fun. I dun really expect people to buy me those stuffs.. though i absolutely won't mind a single bit if anyone will lah.. my bottom-line is.. JUST SHUT-UP AND DUN BITCH ABOUT ME, YOU BITCH! ok la.. i wasn't referring to anyone, yet! I know sure got people will bitch one.. so i'd rather scold 1st. Ha!

OK.. now i am officially talking to myself and being siao liao.

Anywayz.. my Top 10 wish list

1) Cash

2) Cash

3) Cash

4) Strawberry Shortcake

Most easiest and most affordable of all. No more Black Forest pls.. and i DUN LIKE mango cake.. be it mousse or sponge. Strawberry is good. Strawberry is pretty. Strawberry is delicious. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE is the best. =)

5) Braun Buffel wallet

My previous one is gone case liao. And my current wallet is some CHEAPO one i bought in JB and I USED IT FOR 2 YEARS LIAO. Good enough reason to change? YES? Ok then.. i wan one in either black or brown, with only one fold, normal palm size, and i want the Braun Buffel "mak tou" (logo) to be a cow, not the metal bar. Do you know what kind that i wan or not? No? Nvm.. juz pass me the cash. (Just trying to help. =/)

6) A Pair of wheels!!

Did u guys know.. i picked up roller-blading recently.. Uncle Tan taught me how to, and after 2 lessons, i am half a pro liao.. hee hee.. (Ok FINE!! no one said it.) For those who chip in to fulfil one of my wish for my 21st bday, yeah.. that beautiful blue guitar. I AM SORRY!!! I am so ashamed of myself.. really. But this time is different.. i already picked it up and i know how to do it already, and I LOVE IT. I promise i will make good use this time. It is quite costly i know (i mean the good ones), cannot afford?? Hmm... ok nvm then.. juz the left side will do.. i'll buy the right side myself. The other way also can. Err.. u noe how to buy or not? Erm.. i also dunno leh.. nvm.. juz pass me the cash, i'll ask the pro to go buy with me. =p

7) A boyfriend

Must be tall, gorgeous, rich and absolutely sweet.. and have the ability to make me happy and tolerate me. He must not be a wuss.. rich as one is.. BE USEFUL. (useful but not rich I also dun wan) ahhh.. not forgetting.. must have a sense of humor and dump tat ego.. I’d like to be the dominant one. =) --> “Mission Impossible 4"

Note: Above paragraph copied and pasted from last year's wishlist. Since its not fulfilled, try again this year. Muahahaha..

8) A Tattoo

I really wan one ok. One of last year's wish also.. but never done.. cuz no guts, and no MONEY!! Hope to get one done this year.. no, maybe two. You can pass me the cash too. wahaha..

9) A laptop

Ok lah.. I WISH right..? I know lah.. juz put in to make up my numbers for my 10 items nia.

10) Cash

Tadah~!! There there!! My wishlist.. all up. Thanks in advance everyone. =p

p/p/s: Do not, i repeat, DO NOT, bitch about me.

p/p/p/s: Pls kindly take note of bold or coloured words. =)

OH MY GOD!!

2007-06-13T02:00:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!

I really wanna peng sang liao. i LAUGH until i almost forgot to breath. Sorry lah.. not that i want to bring this matter up again.. but..

I DUNNO HOW ANYONE CAN MANAGED TO BE SO STUPID!!

And how come i am so smart. hee hee..

..

Ok lah.. self-prasing lah.. but u shall see my point.

Let me tell you a little about this bugger.

1) She is a girl, who just HAPPENS to react pretty strongly to my big bold red words.

Ok fine.. i have a lot of bold red words in my entries.. i meant the FUCK OFF words.

2) Yes, she is sure some childish teensy girl, 16 to be exact, and yup, not very popular.

3) And she, despite being labelled by other pals as "attitude-problem", NEVER DARED to even raise her voice a little at me.

so on and so forth..

Let Da jie give a little piece of advice to u my dear.. if you intend to do this kinda things to some other innocent bloggers again.. choose a low self-esteem or maybe not so smart one. Yes.. i am being thick-skinned praising myself again. And yes.. i dare to say my IQ is slightly above average, (and WAY above yours!). Geddit?

Guys.. did you know she literally lifted my smartie-pants words and put it into her blog entry and act as if those words came from her own mouth. How nice! And dun ask me how i came to know bout her blog.. if everyone knows.. then next time some other people come and bug me and took those necessary precautions, and i have to rack my poor overworked brain again to find out the culprit.

Like i was telling Bryan.. small small children so what?

THAT DOES NOT MEAN SHE CAN BE FORGIVEN!!!

Anyway... i'm not going to tell u people who this bugger is.. nor her blog. No.. i am not going to put it here.. BUT i will tell you if you call and ask me. Hee hee... and ya lah.. she's going to tag in my blog and say "Haha.. i'm not 16" or "Haha.. u got the wrong person and so act smart" blah blah.. ok lor.. go ahead! I dun have to say anything.. if i put up the "procedures" i went thru to find her.. u guys will know why i say wat i said, and how i came to this conclusion. i dun even have to say a word.

And if she think she is so smart.. going to remove her blog and i cannot do anything..blah blah.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Think i idiot is it..? Wait for her to destroy all evidences and i have nothing to back up my conclusion. HA! The moment i found out who she is and after laughing and peng-ing to the floor and recovered from a serious case of hyperventilation due to laughing too hard, i climbed back on my chair and saved the codings for her blog, and then took multiple screen shots of what she said in her blog. Now i have it.. FONTS AND COLOURS AND ALL. Still think deleting blogs work?

FUCK! And to think i actually stood up for her when people says nasty things bout her. So right now i shall be nasty to her too...

4) And yupz.. she is not very attractive.

Oh gosh.. i think my phone is ringing.. excuse me, but i need to answer the phone and tell them who the bugger is. =)

Ciao!

Ha Ha Ha!

2007-06-08T02:39:00.000+08:00

HA HA!!!

1st of all... I wanna say THANK YOU to the bugger who tag on my blog. My poor pathetic blog has been stagnant for so long.. and suddenly it seemed so alive. My tagboard seem so busy.. haha.. and my counter started jumping again. And finally i found some interesting topics to write about. How nice! And like the previous attack (that didn't work), i am thankful to know once again who loves me and will stand by me. All thanks to the bugger, she did a great favour. =)

Hey guys, tell me if i am wrong. I double.. and maybe, triple-check my entry.. i never use the word "Fuck" until i come to the last paragraph, and this particular bugger seems to react pretty strongly to it.. so.. could it be....

psst.. come closer! Its a secret... Maybe it is not a "she" afterall.

Wahahahaha.. How embarrassing it is if it is a guy!! i cannot imagine if a guy can do and say those things leh, you know? Anyone will agree with me. Its juz so.. so..SO.. un-manly. Haha.. Hmm.. anywayz... whether its a "he" or a "she" or could even be "it".. at least he/she/it came up with a more suitable nick now.

Ok fine.. i ran out of words to rebuke this fella. So i shall wave my white flag lah.
Wo Ren Shu!!!

To Mr/Miss Bugger:

Ok lah, so to you.. i am a bitch/fucker/act-cute/digusting/think in my own way/not pretty etc etc etc....

YES I AM!! SO WHAT???

Yeah! Like i care! Talk about "thinking in your own way".. speak for yourself. I know who love me, and i dun need and not interested to know who don't. You can save it. Or you can carry on of course, to bring up the counters for my blog. It will not affect me or my friends. And especially if you have a penis.. SHAME ON YOU!! I think most ppl would have known that one word that suits you perfectly. You know lah.. the one word that starts with "child" and end with "ish". I'm so sorry about it lah.. but can't blame us you know.. i mean.. look at the language and all.. hai.. Try harder next time ok.

So.. one last word to say to you.

BAH!!!

There we go again!

2007-06-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

There we go again... (refer to tag board)

I cannot believe it.. after 2 years.. i STILL get this kinda tags on my tagboard.. and to think i already only blog like once a month.. i can also get this kinda comments. Did some new childish reader of my blog emerged, or was it the same old person who never grow up after 2 years? And come on.. 2 years back, i might flare and roar and make a hell lot of noise.. but now.. i juz find it SO funny. The minute i saw the tags i immediately tell my friends who are online to go read, and we all had a good laugh. Amazing how one's mindset can chage in just 2 years time.

And, why "Qing ren" anyway? This bugger needs to sort out her thoughts. (i used "her" cuz its a gut feeling lah.. i could be wrong) "Qing Ren" literally translates to "Lover". And by lover, i should think anyone with normal intellect would have understand why i am feeling the aversion. I know perfectly well that my lover WILL NOT say those things. If she intend to put me down with those words, i'm sure there will be a much better nick right (unless her intellect is below normal)? Well so, that's so far the only thing that bothers me with this whole issue. Now my real Qing ren is super angry liao, cuz he thinks that i am beautiful and cute, and erm.. he can spell properly.

My friends asked me if i offended anyone? i said "NO".. well at least not that i know of lah. Some ppl, like this bugger for example.. can get offended without me doing anything.. and it seems i am very capable at that. SO she thinks i am not pretty and i am disgusting.. yah.. BIG DEAL!! Maybe if she is some gorgeous supermodel then i'll feel inferior lah.. but then again, i doubt she is lor.. so I DUN CARE! She's presumably some unattractive, plain jane who hides at home and search for blogs to shoot hurtful remarks and try to bring people down. It dun seem feasible though.. cuz most of us are cool with it, and we know what we have and dun have, and what we can or cannot flaunt. Its called "Confidence" my dears.. not "act-cute" like what she said.

Anywayz.. OI!! YOU THERE!!

YOU expect me to wail and whine cuz u write that i act cute and u dun think i am pretty? Do you seriously think i will do that? Do you SERIOUSLY think i will be affected by what u said?

WAKE UP!! Dun be stupid can?

Tons of people tell me that i look good, and people who dun think so shut their trap, WHY should i be bothered by only what YOU (and probably together with your teensy friends) said? Besides, people DO tell me that i am pretty. From friends to relatives to strangers.. i am never lack of that compliment (thank god). It is also due to them lovely people.. i feel confident enough to write in my blog.. I'M A BEAUTIFUL GIRL. Can you? The only handful who says you are pretty, one for sure could be your mum, who will think u are lovely even if u look like a cow, the rest are most likely to be lying. Wanna prove me wrong..? Come ahead.. show me your face. Nah-uh.. i dun think you have the guts to. Cuz either i am right, or you are ugly.

And you know what..? Get it clear! I think, therefore i am. (Thks Angie dear!!) If i feel i am pretty, therefore I AM! Why..? u never tell urself that before? Oh you poor soul.. Ok fine.. the "i-think-i-am" theory will probably not work for you anyway. Yah.. so.. Why the hell should i care about what people say? Especially people like you.. who are you to judge?

Did you know what's a bitch anyway? Not the slang, but the proper English word.

bitch /bɪtʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[bich] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.
a female dog.
2.
a female of canines generally.

So in what way do i look like one? 4 legs, or whiskers, or tail? I look rather normal you see.. eyes, nose, legs and all.. and nope, no tail or extra nipples.. i'd probably look juz like you (but prettier), so if i am a bitch, we are most likely to be of the same kind. What say you? =)

I AM GORGEOUS!!
I AM SMART!!
I AM SLIM!!!
I AM TALL!!!

(Ok.. the last 2 are not true, but who cares?!?! I juz wanna piss that bugger off!)

HAHA!!

Then again.. having said all the above.. like i said, i could be wrong. I truly can understand why girls do such things like leaving hurtful remarks on people's tagboard, you know lah.. insecurity and all.. BUT if i am wrong.. and you are creature with a penis..

FUCK OFF!!!

You are fucking childish and idiotic, and you behave like a 12 year old (girl). I can't even be bothered to comment. And ya.. God bless you!! (wah piang!!)

Still alive!

2007-06-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

OK OK LAH!! I'm still alive... still lazy.. still topic-less...

it sounds stupid lah.. if i gonna go thru the i-wanna-close-down-my-blog-and-why-i-didn't story all over again. Very sian also.. So i better dun.... ha!

Ok.. i'm gonna be real thick-skinned now.. (whispering: yah.. like when were you not??)

OOI..!! I HEARD YOU OK!

ok.. thick-skinned sentence.. here goes:

EVERYONE START SAVING MONEY NOW OK.. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!!!

Muahahahahaha...

Why? Cannot think-skinned meh? I'd rather asked for things i want rather than act-shy and get things that i dun need, or WORSE, things i dun like. Waste ur money... waste ur time, and waste my time. And poor me have to pretend to like it.. cuz i am a very polite and pleasant lady, so even if i freaking dun like the present.. i still muz go.. "WOW.. Thank you so much leh...!!" *big smile* then proceed to chuck the present in one corner while in my mind thinking of how to get rid of it later. -_-

Kidding!! (ok.. maybe not!)

Oh puh-lsss.. do i really need to go thru the why-i-so-thick-skin-to-ask-for-things story again? NO!!! Ppl who know me... and love me, that is.. will understand, right peeps? Of course i dun expect the hi-bye friends to buy me stuffs.. but friends.. real ones.. u guys gonna buy me presents anyway.. so might as well make it good, and make me smile.. and make me happy.

And dun forget to include a card or note to say that you love me ok. =)

YAY!!! Will put in my wish-list soon. Stay tune. Muahahaha!!!

Anywayz... anyone looking for tutors or looking for tutoring jobs not? Or know of anyone who's looking for tutors or looking for tutoring jobs?? Or know of anyone who knows of anyone looking for tutors or looking for tutoring jobs?? Or anyone who... blah blah...

Come come!!

www.tuitionagency.com.sg / www.hometuition.com.sg
(same same lah.. old or new name nia!)

I saw his database.. definitely looking good. Go search yahoo singapore for home tuition or tuition agency or something like that... ITS TOP FEW OF SEARCH RESULTS OK!!! Good recommendation ok!!

OK LAH!! He's my friend lah.. and i'm hard-selling.. but NOT lying ok! U can go yahoo search lor.. think wanna make it to top serach results so easy ah?? (He say de!!) AND I AM NOT PAID OK!! Just thought that good things must share. hee hee... nothing much to blog anyway..
Not too loud.. if not he'll kill me. Haha..

Ok lah.. fei hua shao shuo.. go see see the webbie.. and recommend to ya friends and relatives. And pls come back soon for my wish-list.. i will post it asap so u guys can have time to save money.. *giggles*

I think bomb also cannot penetrate thru my skin liao.

Late for work!

2007-05-16T10:57:00.000+08:00

I was late for work again that day. I called down to my workplace to inform them that I will be slightly late. My manager, Mr Y, answered the phone.

Y: Good afternoon! Thank you for calling xxx, how may I help you?
Me: Hey Y, sorry ah I will be a bit late!
Y: Can you tell me what is new?
Me: -.-"

FUCK!

Not as in "Fuck! Why the hell he so guai lan for, talk to me like that!"

But as in "Fuck! Why I so useless and bu zheng qi let ppl have the chance to say this to me?"

WHY? How come I cannot kick this habit? I can never seem to be on time. Damn irritating when every single time I have to practically run from my house to the bus stop to catch the bus that juz zoom pass me, board the bus, alight at ineterchage, run up the escalator for the train which the information board states “Marina Bay – 1 min”, and upon reaching my station, I have to run from the MRT station to my workplace. After changing and run to my department ending the ordeal with my usual words: “Soli Soli!!"

Then i repeat the same routine again the next time.. no matter morning, afternoon or night shift.

MY GOD!!

And I seldom overslept lor.. Even if I were to wake up early, I will still end up doing the above routine. I am seldom really REALLY late, always juz about 15 mins MAX! I dun understand myself sometimes. The only time when i can stroll to work or appointment is when I mistaken my schedule for an earlier time. This is absurd. Every new year I made resolutions.. and observing punctuality being top of the list, EVRY SINGLE YEAR!! And yet.. I never fulfill it. I can literally count the number of times I am actually on time ever since I can remember. So fucking habitual.

"Tell-me-what-is-new" kinda remarks is not tat irritating as "Eh.. today u early wor!!" I feel like slapping these people. Dun be so fucking sarcastic can? I know I am at fault, think making those remarks very cute very funny meh. Sorry lor, lao niang have got no sense of humor after the run-here-run-there routine lor. Dun believe u idiotic people go try lah! NB!

Tsk! Damn sian!! Must really kick this habit. OK!!!

I WILL!!! (Looks of determination!)

Next year.. my top new year resolution, I will make it. Next year!!

.

Worst night ever!!

2007-04-29T06:45:00.000+08:00

5am in the morning.. stormy outside.. Rain, lightning, thunder!!

SOMEBODY HELP ME!!??!!!

I'm on midnight shift.. and i'm darn sure this is the WORSE midnight shift ever (So far! Not that i want any worst!). Juz 15 mins ago.. I went from tearing.. to crying.. to wailing. I WANT TO GO HOME! Damn.. i never missed home so much. I am feeling DAMN ill.. that's why i couldn't take it and broke down.

There is always a logic to everything. And my logical explanation to "Why am i so FAT?", is that, i have this hereditary problem from my mama's side. I looked pretty normal and healthy outside.. until the attacks come. It will attack, no matter i well anticipated it, or least expected it.

SINUS!

Horrible horrible bugger.

And so.. when the attacks come.. the 1st thing a person under sinus attack does to ease the sneezing and wheezing.. is to eat. Eat and Eat and Eat! And from 12am juz now.. i have been stuffing all sorts of rubbish into my mouth. From hot coffee and milo, to sour prunes, to bread, to nuts and repeat the sequence all over again. That explains my collection of unwanted mass.

Logical not?

YES! (Abso-fucking-lutely true!)

..

Anywayz.. went aboard for a short cruise yesterday. Yeah.. the Starcruise cruise kinda cruise. (So i was brought to believe) First hand news.. Its called "Princess Cruise". Everyone went "WOAH.. u lucky b****, go cruise wor. Make sure come back tell us about it."

Ok ok fine.. here's the story!

The day officially started off with a headache. Skull-splitting-hair-tearing-tear-welling-puke-inducing kinda headache. Well.. i should have said no, but well promises made to friends and since its oredi fully paid (corporate party).. i have to go. So i made my way to Harbourfront.. and get my boarding pass and time's up, READY TO BOARD!

The Boarding Pass!

After all the formalities like custom clearing and stuffs..with a tiny excitment.. we set off to board our cruise. The ship we gonna board is called "Princess Falcon", as stated on our boarding pass. On our way.. we passed by the real "STARCRUISE".. so huge, so grand, so exciting. Which can't help but make me look forward to our "PRINCESS FALCON". Can't be that bad, i was thinking.

When i finally saw the ship we gonna board.. my jaws dropped. Dun be misled by the B-E-A-U-tiful name.. its juz a slightly bigger vessel than your usual "BatamFast" or "Penguin". As i dun have the picture of both vessels as comparison.. and i am not good with photoshop.. i shall describe it in a very kindergarden way. Here..

Comparison.

Not that i am complaining.. with a fully paid "cruise" with food and drinks... juz that it wasn't quite i expected lah. Juz a teeny-weeny bit of disappointment. But well.. at least we got FREE food and drinks.

Inside!

Pretty good-tasting fruit punch. ! Better than coffee shop! =)

Food was pretty yummy.. but i didn't eat.. cuz i was feeling damn nauseated.. the ship was DAMN rocky lah.. i was already plagued with skull-splitting-hair-tearing-tear-welling-puke-inducing headache.. i am so sick. How to eat? I didn't manage to take any pictures of the food.. WHY? Cuz i am trying hard not to barf!! Grrr.. i was SO sick i actually came to the extend that i turn around and scared my friend with my greenish shrek lookalike face.. and said "JIU WO!!" (save me!). I think she almost fainted. I was desperate.. and it had only been an hour. There's no turning back.What did i get myself into? I know i shouldn't.. but the next thing i knew.. i was popping panadols, downing them with fruit punch.

I dunno what happened after that. Guess i was in a subconscious condition.. i was not very much aware of the happenings. I juz knew i suddenly felt better.. and i even volunteered to play games. YAY! I love games. And we played a very "bapok-ed" game. 3 teams, each consisting of 3 ladies and 1 gentlemen.And WE.. get to "transsexualise" HIM!! *evil laugh*

It all happened too quickly.. i didn't have time to take shots of them still men. So here..

The Mei-Nu(s)

Team 1 Mei Nu - Cynthia

Team 2 mei nu - Helen

Team 3 mei nu - Angelina Jolie

Altogether!!

Cynthia aka Nick, was in our team. We dressed him up so prettily.. and he is darn gorgeous. Nick was really cute and sporting.. and i LOVE him for that.

Me and ~~Nick~~ Cynthia!!

Lastly.. and the BEST part of the night event. DANCING!!!! OOhhh.. i love dancing.

On a mini and rocky dance floor.

Me and Chiu Ting - Cam-whoring!!

Again!

And again!!

---End of Nightmare Shift---

1-month anniversary

2007-04-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

Today marks the 1-month anniversary of..

-

The last time i blog!

But its kinda different this time.. Life is NOT stagnant! In fact.. i am having quite a lot of fun! Went fishing.. roller-blading..

But the thing is..

the photos i have all JIAN BU DE REN!! I cannot let those photos go online. Those pics are now solely for my viewing pleasure. HAHA!

Sorry lah.. will blog as soon as i have nice pictures. And hopefully the next time i blog won't be 2-months anniversary from today! hee hee...

Time passed really quickly.. So fast, May is approaching already. Lots of things happened.. Some made me happy, some made my sad, some made me angry. The emotional fluctuations are killing me. I need a break! Feel like going away for holiday again. I dunno if its juz my imagination.. but as long as i am not physically here.. as in.. Singapore.. i will feel loads better. Haha...

So.. let me strike lottery, big one. Get a hefty sum.. i shall quite my job and go travelling. Haha! *day-dreaming*

Well.. of course.. i absolutely wouldn't mind, if someone is willing to sponsor. *wink*

Stagnant..!!

2007-03-27T23:07:00.000+08:00

I know lah... damn stagnant this blog.. i can find ten thousand reasons for not updating. Busy, lazy, blank-out.. u name it. I juz dunno wat to write lah!

i got freaking lots of pictures from Taiwan trip.. so much so it killed my mood to post them. Wa lau.. imagine the time to upload them to my computer and then edit them and then upload to photobucket. I was quite enthusiastic about making you guys jealous of my holiday (like i said in my previous entry), but when i realized i got like 500 photos.. i went: -___________- and exclaimed to myself "FORGET IT LAH!!!". ha! Sian diao lor... too bad lah.

But anyway.. Taiwan trip is only rated a so-so! I mean.. the place is fantastic and its juz cool to be there.. but wrong group i guess. Not much happenings.. juz shop and eat. We actually went museum and temple.. (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!??!!) and when the tour guide was explaining all the historical happenings... i almost fell asleep while standing. =/ History IS interesting.. and history and museum make a great couple. However.. the duo is juz..... not too suitable for people (like me!) who haven slept for the past 2 nights lah!

Things there are not exactly cheap. Comparable to stuffs in Singapore. I spent a big lump sum there.. mostly on things that i dun think i will put into good use. (for eg; like 4 pairs of footwear?) I kept my stuffs immediately after i reached home. My mum is going to screw me big time if she saw what i bought.. i dun wanna get that. Haha! Besides that.. All those talks bout clubs in Taiwan damn happening and KTV very special.. we went nothing of those. As i said.. mainly shopping and eating.. and museums and temples and some grand building which i totally forget the name.

Still... its an eye-opener to be there in Taiwan. Its super cold at the time we were there. The kind of outdoor temperature that we can only enjoy in front of and really close to the refrigerator door opened. No snow.. but still.. super cold. People there were extremely friendly and warm. Taiwan people are all so beautiful (most of them anyway!).. tall, slim and trendy. Wow.. the few of us looked so "lok" with all those beautiful taiwanese standing around us. =(

Enough about Taiwan...

GO TRY CABLE-SKI NOW!!!!!!!!!

Tried it for the 1st time last Friday. SUPER FUN LAH!! Quite expensive.. but its really cool. Can see many hunks too.. wahahha!! That's the best part. *giggles* But the after-effects were not exactly fun though.. and i am currently still trying to recover from them. After-effects, which includes, muscle-ache on the tummy, the arms, bloated-ness due to excess drinking of sea-water, and chao-da + peeling.. it also includes one very serious point.. Puzzlement. One question had been bugging me ever since the minute i started cable-skiing until now.

"How come others look so totally cool and incredible when they do the cable-skiing thingy... but i look like.. a.. a... a... TOTAL IDIOT??"

After 2 hours of skiing.. i did not complete a full circle around the lake. I dun believe it! And i dare not imagine how i looked when i tumble into the water. Made a fool out of myself man!

BUT!! i will go again!! Besides the fun, its really good exercise.. definitely beats running the threadmill in the gym man. And dun forget the "hunks" part. Eye-feasting man! Wahaha!! And this time.. i will complete cycle.. and even if i do tumble into the water again.. i muz pose and fall graciously into the water. WAHAHA!!

Talking bout gym.. haven gone for so long. OMG!! Seriously no determination sia... looks like i am destined to be fat. =(

---fell asleep---

p/s: I am repeating i know.. but ppl keep saying it lah. In my blog.. if you see something like ---> "this".. IT IS A LINK!!! Click on it.. it usually will lead to somewhere interesting. Stop telling me.. "huh? Got link meh? i dunno leh" (-.-") Now you know ok?

p/s 2: Did i mentioned in the beginning of this entry that i am blanked-out and i dunno wat to write? hmm.. This entry seem a lil' bit too long for a person who "dunno wat to write" hor? Well.. maybe not! HA!

NICHOLAS TAY!! giggles

2007-03-14T11:22:00.000+08:00

SIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i totally screwed everything lah! Purposely bought a dress for Uncle Tan's wedding.. bought earrings and necklace and all.

Ultimate motive: Dress-to-kill!!!!!

WHY?? Cuz famous Nicholas Tay will be there!!!!!!!!!! *giggles* (Paiseh lah.. everytime talk about Nicholas Tay i will be very excited and i'll go giggling non-stop!)

but.. on the day itself. I LOOK LIKE A FREAKING COW!!!!!!!!

1) Look fat in dress - Screwed!
2) Make up in a hurry - Screwed!
3) Bought the wrong pair of heels - Screwed!

I had my hair very nicely done though. Kai Tee's fren, Jac is super pro, everyone said the hair-do is damn nice! But, i am extremely uncomfortable with it.. cuz the fringe is like tickling my face and all... in the end, i pin it up. WRONG MOVE!! i look like an idiot lah. SO...

4) Not comfortable with Hair-do - Screwed!

Wah Lau EH!!

Fierce competition sia that night. All the girls swooned to Nicholas Tay lah. Every table he goes to, the table sure full. Wahaha! I think he created quite some chaos that night. What to do..? Wo ask him to be born gorgeous like that? *giggles*

I got take pictures with him leh... i have uploaded the pix.. but everytime i look at the picture.. i damn am dui.. WHY HE LOOK SO GOOD AND I LOOK LIKE A COW??!!??

Nicholas Tay!! *giggles*

anyway.. here it is.. Nicholas Tay *giggles*. The one Candace Chay keep yakking non-stop about. I think he got a little scared of me.. wahaha.. cuz he "sneaked off" while i was in the rest room. Geez... and the whole night i was cursing and swearing.. that why he didn't ask for my number. DAMN! Must be my dress not low enough during dinner.. NAH!! juz kidding.. i'm sure Nicholas is not that kind. *giggles*

Ok lah... i was juz playing can.. a bit overboard i noe.. think now he's gonna siam as far as he can from me le. =( DUN LAH!!

hmmm.. i still think my dress should be lower. tsk!! =/

Going to the airport in half an hour's time. TAIWAN!! I COMING LIAO!!!!!!!!!! all packed and ready. Travelling light.. but think gonna come back the direct opposite. Right now i have 1 bag in another bag.. muahaha... heard so much about Taiwan and everyone told me $500 IS NOT ENOUGH!! sian! whatever.. juz make do with what i have lah.

As usual.. hopefully to come back in one complete piece and maybe with a few more hand-carried pieces.. lol.. and hopefully not, but highly impossible with the good food there.. some extra surface area on my body. =(

Gonna take lotsa pic to make u all jealous. Muahahaha...

see yall next week. =D

Curse of the golden flower

2007-02-28T14:53:00.000+08:00

Curse Of The Golden Flower.

OMG! Look at Gong Li's Boobs!!

i juz watched in on DVD. The show is so damn nice... with settings that are absolutely spectacular. Costumes, make-up, scenes set-up.. all tells one thing.

THE MOVIE IS NOT CHEAP!!

Nope.. not at all. You know in movies.. one look at the setting, sounds,storyline.. blah blah... u will know whether is it cheap or not. I blogged bout cheap movie once.. and tat's a classic example. This one is totally the opposite. Everything looks expensive lah.. all gold and bling bling.. and the costumes.. and i was thinking... the people used.. if they pay juz $10 for each extra.. the War scene itself would have cost a bomb already lor. Watch it u noe wat i mean!

Gong Li and Chow Yun-Fatt. Everything is Gold!! (Her Boobs!!)

Full of golden flowers aka Chrysanthemum. (HER BOOBS!!)

One scene from the show. That's the 3 princes behind Gong Li (HER BOOBS!!), the Empress.The background, that is also where the war took place. Unfortunately.. i couldn't get any pictures on it.

Well.. I super like the whole show lor.. but i tell you..

Its a total freakshow lah!!!

i'll tell you.. the story goes like this.. (at "least something" like this!)

The Emperor killing the Empress slowly by ordering maids to brew some weird medicine for the Empress to drink everyday. Empress having affair with 1st prince, then screws the maid (the 1st prince i mean!) who turns out to be his own sister. Then the Emperor send ppl to assasinate the maid (who had affair with the prince)'s family, which means the maid's mother is the Emperor's lover, the 1st prince's real mother. Then the Empress instigate 2nd prince to lead whole army to attack his own palace. During some ceremony dinner, 2nd price lead army to launch attack, but got counter as Emperor's already all prepared with even stronger army as the 1st prince had tip off the Emperor regarding this plot. During the dinner, the 3rd prince, which is the youngest prince, stabbed the 1st prince and thus killing him. Apparently he felt that both the Emperor and the Empress neglected him and never like him, thus he forced the Emperor to give up his throne to him. Then the Emperor got furious cuz the 1st prince is his fave son, and as expected, the 3rd prince (who is actually juz a childish teenager) is no match for the Emperor. The Emperor unbuckled his gold belt and whipped the 3rd prince to a bloody mess, the stupid kid died lah, of course. Then after the whole dramatic action, war and all.. everyone came out and cleared the bodies (A LOT OF DEAD BODIES!) and the blood, change the carpet and replace the "golden flowers" (as seen in the picture above), which is Chrysanthemum actually. And Tadah~ everyone proceed to continue dinner. Then the Emperor ordered the medicine for the Empress to be served, and forced the 2nd prince to feed the Empress, which the 2nd prince refused lah, cuz its the reason why he agreed to help the Empress lead the attack mah. So he killed himself. Then the Queen went crazy, i think..

---end of story---

err.. pardon the long senseless paragraph. As i type, i also dunno wat i talking about liao. I was extremely disturbed after watching the show. Why did it turn out to be like tat man?!!?? Oh.. i shed quite some tears when the 2nd prince slashed his own throat lah.. cuz its Jay Chou mah! hah!

well.. dunno how to put into words to describe the movie itself, thus the long nonsensical paragraph. You have to catch the movie lah! Its not as nonsense as i describe it is.. its a beautiful story. Dun miss it!! Be it chiong DVDs or mere chance of still catching it in theatre (with weird time slots)

GO WATCH IT LAH!!

Thoughts after watching the movie:

I want boobs like tat!! =/

-

Time to update!!

2007-02-20T17:57:00.000+08:00

Time to update!!

i know i know... need some time though.

KL trip was damn AWESOME lah, i tell you !! Wonderful place, lovely people, great company!! What more can i ask for!!??!! I already started missing KL.. like erm.. like.. the minute i board the return-coach?? But i can't post any pictures leh.. cuz i mentioned.. its a scandalous trip. So i can't let anyone else see what i did in KL.. Sigh.. too bad lor.. BUT!! It'd would be a different story if i can get approval to blog about it lah.. *wink*

Chinese New year this year was rather boring!! Did not really go further into Malaysia to visit my relatives.. so less ang baos! Only won 10 miserable ringgits during gambling. NO!! i am not complaining.. i am real lucky liao... i NEVER, win anything when i gamble.. so.. lucky me! Well.. i guess the upcoming year will be damn prosperous and blessed for me liao lah!!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Still.. not much photos leh.. but i'll look through again after i upload. I am damn vain de wat.. i'll post irregardless you like it or not. Muahahaha~!!

Meanwhile... Phantom of the opera is here!! i saw the preview last year and had been looking forward ever since. Bloody expensive sia the tickets... So..

Somebody bring me lah..!!! Pretty pls...!!!

*fingers crossed*

-

i Need a break!

2007-02-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

i need a serious break, seriously!!!

Which is soon to come lah... Going to KL this weekend.. yes.. AGAIN! in less than 2 months.. a bit crazy i know.. but... as i say.. i need a break lah! Also going there to visit Darling Clarisa.. and gonn have some serious fun! Its gonna be a scandalous trip. *Wink*

Chinese New year is coming.. really soon!! Like.. In another 1 and half week's time. Nothing has been done yet! Gosh.. spring-cleaning is a must, and i haven done 1 single bit yet. My room currently looked like it had been hit by a tornado, or the after-math of a war. I practically have to tip-toe across the room, or spent some few minutes removing one item from my desk, as i need to stop the pile from falling off. i have no time liao...!!! MUST CLEAN UP!!!!!!!!

Very very soon... after CNY.. Taiwan.. HERE I COME~!!! Alright.. after all the gym-ing sessions, i'm gonna go and come back 5 kgs heavier.. and i will overwork the threadmill. IF, i have the determination, that is! I heard Taiwan is really fun... i'm so looking forward.

In fact.. i am so looking forward to everything lah. Life had been pretty mundane lately. Nothing much, except that i am amazed with my ability to get real pissed with every single living thing that cross my path. i get frustated with the tiniest matters. Dunno wats wrong... maybe the holidays will do me some good. I am so tired recently. Did i already mention? i am down with a cold again.. OH MAN!! With all the good thing coming forth??

NOOoooOOOooOooo~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One ridiculous thing i have done over the weeks, is to get my chinese name changed. Not as in the sound, but the strokes of the chinese words. The person said my original name is bad luck lah, after changing, the counts of strokes will be different, which will supposedly make my life luckier, more smooth-sailing..blah blah! BUT! Apparently, it is not really working wonders. =( In fact, things had been going quite wrong... oh no.. i am skeptical about it liao.. that means it will never work for me. Damn.. i am holding on, holding on to some dear hope. Maybe this period is juz a trial.. and that the more i use my new name, the more advantageous (the person say lah!).

i am superstitious lah...but not TAT superstious lah.. but since i have oredi done it (more like my mum asked me to lah!), might as well juz follow. Juz hope that its really for the better, and it works. And hope that it dun kill me before i come to a conclusion that is is working, but the reverse way. I will update to let you guys know if it works, and if it does, we can all go change names. WhoOOoOo!!!

aiight!! Happy holidays!!

Lucky lucky. =)

.

Overdue!!!

2007-01-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

Way way WAY overdue...

paiseh lah!!! really no time... but here it is lah... not yet expired. I filter out a lot though.. too many pictures liao.. really no time man.. so i juz randomly pick a few out.. haha... here goes:

warning: A lot a lot of pix lah!!! Let it load.. go make a cup of coffee and come back. If you are using 56k.. give up. (Or if u insist.. leave it on and come back tml lor)

KL trip!!

Yeah... almost a month liao.. here it is..

Told ya it rained all the way...

Travel Necessities (Not in any order of importance)

1) Not the magazine, but picture of rain.. for me to stare at for the next 5 hrs of journey.

2) Water Bottle.. drink the water, the the bottle got some other usage, though i have yet tried.

3) Sour Prunes.. to curb the breakfast tat was trying to come out thru my mouth.

4) Sweater.. the bus is like freezing can?

5) Big-ass Bag.. once again, "i dun have a bag, smaller than this, that is big enough to hold my things"

6) Precious ipod..my companion for the whole journey.

7) Tissue Paper.. wah..! This one damn important.. juz think lah, how much this insignificant packet of stuffs does, and wat will be do without it.

***Bus brake and magazine fell on floor***

KaiTee: Eh?? I thot u listening to ur ipod, how u noe the magazine fell?

Me: Oh.. Rain call out for me mah!!

KaiTee: EeWwWwEW.. Bian Tai!! -.-"

Upon reaching KL.. went to the roof over our head. Sri Tiara service apartment. Proudly sponsored by my company.. ok lah.. i request one lah.. heng heng got it.. Its one of the property under Far East Organization.

Damn nice i tell you!! Big and comfortable!! (Click on the pic lah.. can enlarge!)

We stayed on the 22nd floor.. damn nice the view!

A pair of twins we met and Sri Tiara.. super cute!

And so the days went on.. shop and shop and shop...

Inside TS..

Its really quite ulu for such a big shopping centre.

Very high class wor... Didn't go in though.. no time lah!

I dunno wats the movie about.. but the name damn funny.

We had dinner at...

I was salivering as i was editing the pix!! haHa!!

Times Square Indoor Theme Park.

Although the theme park is indoor.. the rides were astonishing. Dun see the machines small small.. the smallest and with the most innocuous look one.. scared the shit out of me and Kai Tee. Seriously.. dun leave it out if you go KL.. RM25 to get in.. unlimited rides. Damn worth it.

Other than that... Nothing much, juz this 2 pic i would like to share.

So does it mean, only Chinese gynae? Or Only chinese can use the hospital? Or wat??

Food Market in the middle of nowhere!

Found this food market at Sungei Wang. When the lift open all 4 of us got a mild shock! Its on Level 4 of a shopping centre lor... As wat Leong said..

"Imagine u walking walking at Causeway Point, then take lift to level 5, door open you see Bukit Timah Food centre!"

-_-

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Dinner And Dance 2006 - Viva Las Vegas

Company D&D was on 22nd December. Had to rush back from KL to attend. TA MA MA DE!! never get anything from lucky draw. I never hav any luck at this area man!!

Nevertheless... the night went pretty ok.. Nope... i didn't dress up like i planned to.. the hot blonde LA girl.. no money lah.. haha.. So forget it. The whole D&D was.. arr.. ermm... hmmm.. my 1st coporate D&D.. not very much like what i expected lah.. almost fell asleep during quite a number of events.. for eg; erm.. speeches?? Aha.. but the ball room at Suntec was really nice and grand.. BUT!!!.. the food.. OMG!! Didn't quite match the look of it..

The menu! (Click to enlarge so u can read it!)

Foie gras something something...

Err.. lobster soup lor... Half gone though.. cuz i forgot to take pic.

Stuff spring chicken something something...

Cakes and fruits....

The food..OMG!! For such a grand event and nice place and pretty look.. it tasted.....

.......

Ok.. let's not talk about it.

Enough about food.. Now the people...

The most beautiful thing about OPS.. *giggles*

Adrian Tan.. He loves the 3 of us so much.. there..

With Me!

With Murti..

With Ernie..

May.. my RM. She dresses up...LA girl.. and she's hot. haha..

The marketing "xiao shuai ge". The toot toot kinda cute whereby you will juz keep stealing glances at him.

Me:"How? Me and him, deng dui (matching) or not?
Chiu Ting: "No!"

...

Ta ma de..!! So direct. Never give face.

Reno.. technician of OPS!! aka my sayang!!

I think he is suppose to dress up with his friends as card dealers in a casino or something like that.. but when i walk pass him.. i thought he was one of the banquet server sia.. lol..

People who have fought wars at the Front Desk.

Thank god for photoshop.. if not i dun think anyone can see those ppl behind. Its not very clear or bright still.. but better. A lot actually.. Well..can't blame me. As if i am tat pro in photoshop. -.-

Very hiao...

Adrian also wants to join in..

Together lor.. =)

Gays in action!!

Azmi and Murti!

Ernie and Murti!

Me and Murti! (Err.. btw.. tat's not my fats, its juz the dress not pulled properly!)

She like very mian qiang let me hug like tat.. =/

Nice shot! Murti is so pretty! (Hey.. it rhymes!)

I was bored with speeches, so i did this. So Artistic... LOL!

NO! Not nice at all!!

Adrian is very KPO.. he tried to copycat my artistic shot.. and he poured plain water and drop rose petals into my glass of unfinished white wine. -.-"

Everyone.. (Ok.. maybe not!)

Dun ask me wassup with all the pictures with roses.. somehow everyone found the roses interesting that night and started taking pictures with it.

Didn't take anymore pic.. the formal event ended with a dancing session.. whereby old people go home.. and young (and crazy) people stayed at party till late. That was the most memorable part of the night i guess.

haha.. ok lah.. also after D&D got go out.. tats fun and memorable also lah. *wink*

But too bad.. no pictures. =x

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New Year Countdown to 2007!!

Me and Bai were worrying bout plans for New Year's eve.. everyone has already made plans except us.. Well wat do you expect.. its less than 20 hrs to 2007!

Juz as me and Bai were moaning about us being losers, no life.. why until now still no plans...

We managed to get 3 men!! YEAH!!!!!!!

So off we went to Esplanade..

Plan: Watch Fireworks and Paaaarrrrrrrtttyy..............

YEAH!! No more losers!!

On the way to Esplanade..

Me and Bai again!!

The men! Our "saviors". Sayho, Ben and Alex!

US ALL!!

Yeah.. photoshopped! Ok.. its the best i can do.. i 'm no pro ok!

Went to Babyface.. a club opposite the Fullerton hotel. Erm... i went there last yr (2005).. and i went back again. Its still as disappointing. If its not for the clear view of the fireworks.. i wouldn't pay a big fat 38 bucks to patronize there.

Yeah.. us again.

Ya.. why? My camera.. my blog.. cannot ahh?? We were bored, wat do u expect? We got lots more zi lian pix lor.. if i were to post all.. dial-up users really muz give up liao. Haha!!

Alex keeping us entertained with all his card tricks.

He is so good, that Bai suggested he quit school and join the circus. Haha!

Sad to say, this is me looking my best ever. =/

Something nice happened.. made a new friend at Babyface..

Damn ah Beng.. but nevertheless.. cute!!

Hey Owen.. if you are reading.. Thanks so much for the "gift" hor.. Nice meeting you. I'll get my revenge someday. *sweet smile*

Nothing much liao... juz a lot ALOT of pictures featuring me and Bai.. damn vain. Haha..

So anyway...

Cheers!!

*******P/S:

In case like every other time.. ppl complained that they dunno i got upload the pictures on the net.. or too small they cannot see the link etc.. Here..

CLICK HERE IF YOU WANT TO SEE PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!

Good!??! Can't miss it this time...

Ok lah.. wah.. sibeh tired.. blog so many days sia this entry.. I gotta go..

Enjoy.

-

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2007-01-03T15:37:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

2007 is here.. and its the 3rd day oredi.. so damn fast. I know i am so slow in blogging.. and my "faithful" readers (like 2?) had been bugging me every now and then. I really wanna blog la..photos and stories had been piling up.. KL trip, D&D, New year's eve.. to the extend that i oredi forgotten wat to write.

Hai.. nvm. For now.. let's just stick with this 1st.

Call it formalities, call it goals..call it for fun.. call it bo liao...but...

TADAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Year Resolutions!!!

I mean.. i never stick to anyone of them lah (Who does?).. but you know.. its a new year already,i have been making resolutions for the past 3 years, but not last year. i didn't make any last year.. due to some complications in life. BUT!! i shall do it this year.

So here goes:

1) Be puntual!- This had been the top of my list for the past 4 years, but it was never done. Hai.. i will try harder.

2) Slim down! - Gua gua gua~!! Also never done... i shall try again this year.

3) Grow taller- Impossible i know.. put for fun nia.

4) Be gentle aka "shu nu" - Dun laugh hor.. i slap you then you know.

5) Grow prettier - Laugh somemore.. i seriously will slap you ok.

6) Save money - Err... still trying. (self-motivation chant: laptoplaptoplaptoplaptoplaptop...)

7) Work hard- AHA! This one i have always been doing it, irregardless of New Year or not. lalala~ So proud of myself. wahaha..

8) Love myself, and be happy - To live life to the fullest. I had been down before..and for a period of time,i did not love myself enough and i did not cherish life. And i would like tat time to be the 1st and the last time. I try!! =)

ok lah.. can only think of these for now. Well.. writing them down is 1 thing, to do it is another. Wahaha.. i will try my best lah.

Will put up pics real soon.. (i hope)

EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!~!! =D

.

Back from KL!!

2006-12-22T03:14:00.000+08:00

Back from KL!!

Hey hey hey.. i am back!!! Yes.. in one complete piece lah.. (Heng!)

But i am damn suay lah.. i'll tell you why.

I broke my nail.. i always have brittle nails, and i xin xin ku ku keep my nails nice and long so i can have pretty nail art done on my nails on my company's D&D, which is tomorrow!!!(i used "tml" so often that it took me half a minute to spell the actual word out -_-!) And it fucking broke!!! I can't believe it! If it decide to break, why not break like a week or two earlier, so at least even if its not long, it wouldn't be bloody. I have to resort to fake nails which i bought in KL. Not that pretty, but i need some time (or maybe, a lot of time) to put in my nails, and then pray hard that they wouldn;t fall into the dish during dinner!!

Next, the blister on my under-toe (i got in while playing basketball bare-footed during chalet) freaking worsen during the long distance walked (shopping!), as in the bloody hole enlarged lah!! Wah.. damn sian. I limped all the way lor, cuz bo bian, need to shop. Kao, imagine the price i pay for shopping.

And yeah.. the 3 girls sure can shop man!! They are not shopping Queens, think they are more monsters than queens. They shop and shop and shop and shop... NON-STOP!! It was also then i realised, i seriously have no stamina for shopping. My back-ache was real bad by the time i return to the apartment late at night. It hurts more than when i play basketball for long hours. Gosh.. Basketball, yes.. Shopping.. NoOOoooooOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, went to Times Square indoor theme park, damn fun i tell you. But there was this ride which i went on.. its the kind of coaster that juz spins round and round non stop, In HIGH speed!! I played 2 rounds (each ride spins around 50 rounds, or maybe more!), and i got stiff neck. -_- Until now!! Damn pain lor.. i cannot even turn my neck too much. The price again, i pay for having fun.

I have sinus attack for 2 WHOLE days! Gosh! Terrible man! i keep sneezing and totally no mood to shop. I rub and rub my nose.. and yeah, its peeling now.

Wanna get something nice and on-theme for D&D (TML!!!!!), but the ones that are on-theme are so freaking expensive lor.. and those are the kind of clothes which "normal" people won't wear on "normal" days. I searched and searched.. in the end i gave up.. juz bought some small accessories. Sian!

And throughout the whole 4 days, it rained. A LOT!!! Serious! it juz keep raining and raining. We keep getting caught in the rain!! And we walked A LOT as well, cuz keep losing our way! (My poor toe!!) And the very last day, we almost missed our bus. Gosh.. Heng ah.. managed to catch it lor! Another heng thing is that, it was splashed all over the news that malaysia is very badly flooded, and the areas affected includes our bus route! Wa lau, worried for 2 days man.. lucky never kena on our way back, and its quite dry actually. Hee!

Got many more suay things, but of course got good things also lah. Write next time. I really need to get to sleep. D&D is tml.. i am so excited! Gonna go all dress up.. but the minute i think of back-ache, stiff neck, peeling nose.. and panda eyes!! YES!! i should be sleeping now!!!!! And then no pretty nails, no pretty hair (wanna perm but no time, and broke!), no pretty clothes..

NO PRETTY ME!!

Damn sian!!

Very tired!!

KL trip! Damn disastrous.. but nevertheless.. i had fun. Will blog more soon.

Good night. (Morning!)

-

Off to KL!

2006-12-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

lalala~ Holiday!!

As usual.. everytime just hours before i set off.. i'll come and put in a short entry. So here i am again.. gonna set off for KL in a few hours. No big deal i know.. KL only wat.. but anywhere will do, except here lah.

2006 coming to an end soon. So much has changed. Everything seemed so different from last year.. and all the previous years. I am no longer happy like before.. before things turn sour between me and him. When every entries holds the mood of joy.. of anticipation. Well.. things are not the least bit like before..

Nevertheless.. i am looking forward to KL.. i hope to have a good time and of course pray to come back in 1 complete piece, for all of us on the trip. Its been raining all day and all night this few days.. hopefully it will not be like tat at KL. Very spoil mood if so. We'll gonna go shopping and eating, and come back 5 kgs heavier, both luggages and body mass.

Not tat looking forward to Christmas though.. cuz i didn't manage to get a proper shift to go partying for.. so i'll most probably be at home sleeping again, like last year.. but this year, i won't be crying! (hope so)

New year eve is no good either. All my friends are either kids who can't go clubbing.. or attached. only poor me.. who is boyfriend-less. =( i also paiseh to ask them to accompany me sia.. so for the last day of 2006, i'll either be hanging out with the kids, or i'll be at home sleeping lo.

Sigh..!! No Life!!!

Happy holidays to me. ;p

-

Angry Post 1

2006-12-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

Angry post 1

i am starting to bear immense grudges against the human race.

Every single thing piss me off.. teeny weeny things like frowning too much, never clear their plates, scratch their butts, EVERYTHING juz gets on my nerves. i dunno.. i am simply pissed with every single thing.

As i now bear grudges with almost everything, and everyone.. i shall post angry posts. As i have too much to complain.. i shall post in part 1 and part 2.

And today's topic shall be "SOMEONE AT WORK"

Here goes..............

I was late for work again today... suppose to start at 7am, i reached at 7.08am. Its not the 1st time, i admit. Mum and sis always reprimanded me for my punctuality problem, but i never thought much of it. I mean, its only 10 mins wat, what is the big deal, right? So, finally, i got into trouble. "Someone-at-work" questioned me about my lateness. Ok fine.. i am late, tat is it. I did not make any attempts to defend myself or make any excuses

, cuz 10 min or 1 hour, i am still late.

And he said, "If everyone else can do it? Why can't you??"

My question is.. "Everyone?? hmmm... *scatch head* Who??"

Sure i can name a few who are ALWAYS on the dot (i dunno how they do that), but not all. I am not trying to drag ppl into the my fix, as i said, i admit that i am at fault,but dun give me that "everyone-else-can-why-i-cannot" tone, cuz it is not. And 10 mins is not the extreme!! But please lah.. we give and take here. It doesn't mean we dun do our work seriously or showing irresponsibility. Its FLEXIBILITY!!! Standing by for a little lateness and taking turns for coffee breaks if we are free... its what that is so lovable bout the colleagues here. Must it really be so strict and uptight?

i felt bad after saying that its not only me not being on the "DOT",i dun want him to go around catching people being like 10 mins late, cuz i enjoy the flexibility. Well, to pay up for the little breaks, we all work doubly hard and take more shit for the rest of the time, is it too much to ask for?

i am sorry that i am late, i will try to change, but pls lah.. lighten up!!

Oh.. did i blog about this "Someone-from-work" before? I didn't..?? ok..then let's..

BEHOLD!!

Here comes the part about why i am so freaking pissed and so irr-fucking-tated. I have kept quiet all these while lah... cuz i cannot stay anything cuz everytime the "attacks" come, its always done very "privately" which such a big (fake) smile as if its juz casual remarks, so that if i flare, i am at fault. And he is so good at that (smile) and is blessed with such an innocuous look, everyone likes him. From the surface tat is lah.. actual fact i cannot comment. Anyway.. I cannot take it anymore. It is all BECAUSE of him that i am getting irritated by the tiniest things. i cannot say it out at work... i shall say it here.

**if Adrian Tan is reading it..(i doubt so but in case) BAH!!! I dun care.. i never name names wat.. its my blog wat.. i can say anything i wan..Bleah!!

So..

He asked me that day : "Candace, Thursday you on MC right? Do u know Wednesday is a ladies nite?"

-_-

EXCUSE ME!!??!! THEN? I mean, of course i know its a Ladies' Nite? Even someone with no life like him knows wat and when is Ladies Nite, how can i not know? But what does it prove?? And What the fuck is he trying to imply?? i mean.. i haven been to a proper club since like.. 31st Dec?Sucky indochine in July doesn't count though, why? Cuz it sucks!!

Ok.. the indochine thing has no relation to this post.. i juz wanna emphasize that it suck, due to bad experience.

Anyway.. after nagging on some stuffs which i dun rememebr, he continued and said;

"Candace, You must have enough rest, 2 off days doesn't mean you go all the way out and take MC the next day!"
(there was a time i was OFF for 2 days and MC the 3rd day)

EXCUSE ME!!??!! For both my off days.. i laid at home, as well as for the 3rd day..which i took MC for!! What the fuck he trying to imply again?? What is wrong with him man??

And he conveniently added: "Candace, i am not pin-pointing!!"

yah riiiight...!!! That's not pin-pointing, i agree. Cuz its pure accusation.What the hell, all because i took a few MCs when he is here. But its not only me who took MCs, many others took continuosly too, the virus has been going around for quite some time wat.. and i have always been on the weaker side. Besides, what i do on my off days is none of his fucking business lor.. i can do anything i like.. but i never let them affect my work. I am on MC.. cuz i am sick.. not cuz i wan to skip work. (though its a really tempting to especially when i saw his name on same shift as me.)

So what does it mean now? I have to choose to fall sick on my off days, and can only be late on any other days except Thurs, so i dun get those accusations? and hor.. take today for example, i work from 1pm - 10pm last night, and start at 7am this morning, until 10pm then i freaking finished my stuffs. 7 to 10 non-stop mind you, (with 45min break lah) and i am on class and on shift for the next 6 days before i have my off day. So busy.. how not to fall sick like tat. I haven fully recover ever since tat gastric flu, i am still aching all over and feel as if my head weigh tons.. and when i take MC, i got accused of enjoying too much. Tian Li He Zai?? Right now i am so sick, i dun even dare to voice it out. Fuck shit.

Ok.. since i am at the "someone-at-work" topic, let me share something even u all will boil. This happen quite some time ago, when i just get to work with him.

Listen up.. "kids".. (Kids aka "Gin Na" = angry post 2 = next post) cuz you all WILL boil!

I remember we were talking bout something like being myself and all.. and i usually hang out with a bunch of people younger than me.. blah blah blah...

He told me (exact words) :"i think you should change your friends."

-_-!!! What the...!!??!!

HELLO? I haven known him for even 3 days, and he said that to me? Who the hell is he to say that to me sia? Doesn't he understand respect?? I was happily chatting with him telling him about my friends and all and he fucking said that!! I cannot forget wat he said lor.. so its really the exact words above. Act so hig and mightly and serious and pro and yet dun understand wat is respect!!

And he said i cannot use the words like "oh shit", or "talk-cock" or "bullshit"!! ArGh!! And then he keeps going on and on that my boyfriend is who lah who lah.. Can't he see that i am reluctant to share that piece of information. That freaking hell of a guy has a girlfriend, and if it leaks out, i might get chopped to death outside. I mean, seriously, What the hell is wrong with this guy??

He mentioned to me that i have no professionalism. Ok, i am more to the friendly side towards guest, not professionalism, i know, but i know when to draw the line, which the management also highlighted for me to take note during appraisal. But you know wat i did that day, when he said that? I merely "run" to the guest, who is waiting for me with his hands out to pass me something. In fact, i didn't even run, i simply increased my steps, and he said i am unprofessional. Like how should i be professional in walking? You mean, the guest is there waiting for you, we still have to cat-walked or shashayed over? So that's his standard?

I have seen others with more exaggerated gestures, which the guests does not mind at all. We all know perfectly well which guests to be friendly to and which one to be professional towards, not everyone is so dead like him.

Lateness,Mcs, unprofessionalism.. me me me!! Not pin-pointing? My ASS!!

Bloody busybody.. keep butting into my life. He seriously dun get the idea that I FREAKING DUN LIKE HIM. Whenever he is around, i will be extremely quiet and just do my own things, so quiet that no one will notice my existence, which is rare. Since day one, he has been poking his nose into my life.. pls.. buzz off!! And he dosen't get the implied meanings of 1-word answers.

For those who are idiots like him, let me do you a favour. Pls kindly register in your brain (if there is one) under "general knowledge"

Hi good morning!! - hi!
Have you eaten? - Yes!
Have you done the tasks? - N0!
Hey, you forgot this! - Ok, thanks!
Pls dun use that word. - Oh, Sorry!

All these are one word answers, nicely put as "short-and-sweet", but the actual meaning is:

IDUNLIKEYOUANDIDUNWANTOTALKTOYOUSOFUCKOFFANDLEAVEMEALONE!!!

Geddit?

I am so tired of him lah.. everytime i see his name on schedule, i half sian liao.. not to mention coming to work, i need a crane to drag me to work. While on shift, no matter how hungry i am, i will die die endure until he comes and take over me then i go for 1 hour break, so i can avoid 1 hour of working together with him. And thanks to him, i am drinking more water now.. why, cuz i angry thus heaty then thristy, and also cuz i drink more, i get to go toilet more. i am very sick of working with him, if this carries on,one day, i will hand in my resignation form.

And the reason?

Yes.. i will put in his name. Bloody muthafucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

BAH!!

2006-11-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

BAH!!!

Adrian Tan knows my blog address le.. no more bad mouthings of OPS!! I shall look back and delete ALL the bad things i have said bout OPS and.. him!! *zip*

lalala~ *angelic look*

BAH!!!

i ate oyster mee sua 4 hrs ago.. now i am SICK SICK SICK!! It looks so delicious.. with such an innocuous appearance.. with EXTRA vinegar and EXTRA chilli...

Being very generous.. i shared 2 of my oysters with my fren.. and now........

WE ARE BOTH SICK!

wa lau.. tummy cramps until cannot sit straight liao.. and my breakfast threatens to come out with the mee sua through my mouth ANYTIME!!!

Oh gosh!! i damn suay lor.. my fren ate 2 oysters nia and he is so sick.. i ate the whole bowl leh... 10 times the toxic.. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Serve the MC pls... =/

***********************************************

i have a very angry post to publish... VERY ANGRY post. i wonder why some ppl can be such jerks. i am still writing.. i am thinking how to put it in as vague as possible.. and yet get the bloody message across. Hmm.. challenging...!!!

Look forth!!

***********************************************

Need to sleep / throw up!!! =(

-

Page of Apology!

2006-11-22T05:42:00.000+08:00

its been nearly a week since i am down with the gastric flu. I keep having this spitting headache. It hurts so much i almost have to beg myself to sleep. The worse thing is.. the gastric flu keeps making me so sleepy. So you can imagine the umpteen times i need to beg myself.

Then.. for 3 days already, i am down with the real flu. And by "real" flu.. meaning the water-dripping-from-nose and sneezing-my-head-off kinda flu. Hen Xin Ku ah.. =( My nose sore and peeling from the constant blowing, not to mention the addition of "ache" to my "head".

Its almost morning liao... and i've got nothing better to do.. so shall blog some pointless entry.. or maybe not so lah... i just want to say my piece. I hope "he" gets my message!

I think he still reads my blog leh, i do read his, of course, but i am not linking him up. He changed his blog address and i think i am supposed to "dunno" about it. But somehow i knew lah.. cuz happened to stumbled upon his blog. Felt quite silly for thinking that he deliberately hide it from me. Of course he didn't lah.. (or maybe he did?) Whichever it is.. let's just take it that i dunno about it.

I think most ppl should by now know wat happened between us.. i am discreet in my blog but not THAT discreet.Our friends are not that retarded lah. Anyway... all i can say to him is..

"I am sorry.."

But...

sorry lor... i cannot pretend that nothing ever happened between us. It did happened.. i can lie to the whole world, i cannot lie to myself. I tried, i really did.. but i failed miserably. So if i can't lie to myself, all i can do is avoid. aka.. SIAM!! I felt bad lah, and i know you feel that i attitude problem or "dao", but as i said, "sorry lor!!" I "Nen siam ze siam!!" (sorry if anyone cannot understand, its some kinda alienic language which i come up with,oops.. that makes me an alien. Hmmm??)

ANYWAY.. ya.. pardon me for the rudeness. I dunno for wat.. i do not feel hate towards you.. i feel no love either, for you nor for anyone else. Maybe its my ego.. i misplaced it when we ended, when i lost myself. The ego is taking its revenge now. As i said before, and its still the same for now, that i still cringe with embarrassment everytime i think of what i did and wat i said to you at that time. It must have caused immense stress and irritancy for you. Once again.. sorry, for then, and for now. Even up till today.. sometimes i still think of emailing stupid emails or smses to bother you, but good thing i didn't, cuz i cannot afford to bring myself anymore lower.

So the main point is..

if i have caused disturbance in your life.. I Am Sorry!

if u think i am "dao".. I Am Sorry!

if u think my "sorries" are getting worthless as i said it one too many times.. I Am Sorry!

Either way... all i can say is.. "sorry lor!" There's nothing you can do.. there's nothing I can do either! Bleah!!

i use to think that.. most girls would die willingly for guys to give their promises and hai shi shan meng or watever shit. But for me, thanks to you, i'd rather not. Serious!! Why bother to give promises if they intend to break them? I know rules / promises are meant to be broken, but if its done one too many times.. it becomes old.. so..

SAVE IT LAH!!

=)

i love youtube!!

2006-11-21T03:56:00.000+08:00

I LOVE YOUTUBE!!

well.. its the kinda lines i always say to myself at times like this..

times like now.. WHEN..

1) No one calls me to talk cock with me!

2) i keep reminiscing stuffs that happened before.

3) everywhere is so dark and quiet.

4) i am scared the shit out with all the wat-ever ghost stories my colleagues were trying to tell me.

5) i am busy making myself fat by over-eating.

6) i am so freaking bored!!

7) WHEN I DOING MIDNIGHT SHIFT!!!

i sibeh bored!!

its times like this WHEN..

1) i thank god i managed to get a laptop at the very last minute.

2) i thank God, or Satan**, for such an ingenious creation known as the "Internet".

**they say the internet is evil cuz many crimes or wrong-doings arise from it. eg; porn / violence / piracy. If you notice.. the "www", in roman numericals, stands for "666", which is Satan's call number.

Something like tat lah... no meaning one.. juz something to share. Evil or not.. it IS ingenious.

back from digression..

3) i thank god for the genius who have the virtuosity to create sites like youtube/baidu/blogger. They deserve the fame and money!!!

Oh.. i didnt mention?? Yes!! I love Baidu and Blogger too.

4) Oh ya.. thank god for laptops too.

Now the only stuffs to to worry bout:

1) Being fat!

2) Dark rings becoming more and obvious.

3) Wrinkles coming out due to the reverse sleeping times.

4) Short-sightness doubled due to looking at the laptop screen for the straight 6 hrs.. in the dark.

5) To keep awake for the next 2 hours.

6) Ghosts!!!! =/

One more night tml...

ENDURE!!!!!

.

Boycott!!

2006-11-15T17:37:00.000+08:00

I went to Batam for a night few days back. It was fabulous. I dunno is it juz my imagination, but every moment in Batam was relax and stress-less. Serious!! Its like Stress (sg), then no stress (reach Batam), then stress again (back at sg). A bit siao, but its true. The whole trip was really enjoyable.. until the trip back spoilt the whole thing.

I SHALL BLOG ABOUT IT AND BOYCOTT IT!!!

I took this ferry service recommended by others, called Batam "****"!

Err.. I dunno.. but I heard like I cannot put in names or i will get my ass sued or something like tat.. anyway.. I am DAMN pissed.

1st of all.. I dropped my ticket stud, the one I need to use to claimed my return ferry ticket. Dang it! I am not 100% sure, but I am pretty certain that IT IS NOT ME WHO DROP THE FREAKING TICKET!!! I did not even know that the ticket was kiap in my passport, and besides, I did not take out my passport at all throughout the whole day at Batam. For all I know, it could even be the officer at the custom who dropped it.

That is not the point, the "piss point" is.. the people at the counter of this freaking Batam"****" at Batam were so fucking rude and unhelpful. They told me I have to produce the ticket stud or they cannot gimme my return ticket. And they said the only choice is to pay another $17 for a new ticket. I was like :Wat the hell?? I have ALREADY paid for my return ticket; I am not going to pay another bloody $17 when I am not even sure that I am the one who drop it!! I asked the person to try and help me check and they gimme a straight "No, cannot check!". Damn!!!! I told them that they scanned my passport and everything when I bought the ticket, so they should have my records, just try and help me check. The lady then walked off and start making calls checking the PC and stuffs, after like 15 mins, I ask them, "So how?" And they asked another person to come speak to us, expecting me to repeat the story again! Wat the..? It turns out that the bloody woman is not helping me to check at all lor.. and she just walked off like tat without telling us, and we waited like idiots for her to help me check.

I am not trying to make things difficult and make a big hoo-haa when it was my fault that I dropped my tix. (If I am the one who drop it, tat is!), but the people there were extremely unhelpful and bloody rude lor. Wat kinda attitude is that? At least try to help or be more sympathetic right? Even if its an act??!!?? Me and my fren almost tore down the counter due to frustration. In the end I slammed $17 on the counter. Man.. tats the last fery we are catching, I dun wan get stranded at Batam.

On the ferry.. OMG!! Batam"****" shouldn't be called batam"****" but called "BatamSlow". Oops.. am I too obvious?? Well.. I dunno what the hell happened but the vessel was so damn slow.. and its was so shaky I almost puked out my previous night's seafood dinner out. And worse.. look wat it did to my hands and legs.

BED-BUGS!!!! i sibeh suay suay choose that chair with monstrous BED-BUGS bite me like tat..!!

ROARRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BLEAH!!!!

Until now... the marks and spots are still there. As if i dun have enough scars on my body to start with.

i shall boycott them. I WILL NEVER NEVER USE THEIR FERRY SERVICE AGAIN!!

DAMN YOU BATAM "****"!!!

Ok.. that aside..

Mama's birthday!!

Mum's birthday, we bought her to Swensens for dinner. It cost a bomb man! And i guess that about the highest standards i can take her. Hopefully in times to come.. i'll have the chance to take her to nicer places like some hotels. I think she deserves it!

Earthquake!! (melted version)

Dad and Mum!!

Mum!

My mum is so pretty. Thus i always tell my friends.. my mum is so pretty.. that's why are daughters are EVEN prettier. Muahahaha..!!!

Ipod nano

I am now the proud owner of an ipod nano. OKOK.. I noe its not big deal, with whatever gadgets 4gb 20 gb around, mine is just peanuts, but I DUN CARE.

Anyway.. I sacrifice 25 yrs of my life k.. I bought an endowment plan, time to save money lah hor.. haha..

It is so pretty and all.. but I tell you.. it is SO screwed up. So very VERY screwed up. Apple can be considered one of the leading brands for mp3 player, but it cannot even play .wma file leh. My CREATIVE muvo can do better, albeit not as pretty lah. Haiz.. and tat itunes whatever program.. keeps screwing up my computer. ARGH~!!! Sibeh sian.. so there is really a good price to pay for looks huh. =/

wah seh.. very very long blog.. including the halloween blog that is.. but i cannot end without one last thing.

This guy had been bugging me to write bout him on my blog. Bleah. I shall write Meeaan things about him. Anyway.. its rather amusing the way we come to know each other. It started off with me, everytime after hanging up the call from Starhub helpline, I will always nudge nudge my colleague :"eh..the Starhub guy, Bryan or something.. the voice very cute hor??" Then soon, we got to know each other's name and we started talking. OMG!!! We sure can talk man... I have never, NEVER seen a man who can talk cock so much one leh. Haha.. sibeh zi lian leh this guy.. everytime praise himself very yandao.. =.= where got ppl self-praised like tat one?? (Except me lah) This guy is a big threat to me.. anytime can usurp me as the most talkative person around, and the most conceited person in the universe. Hmmph... And he keep asking me to praise him. Ok lah.. i shall..

Bryan very yan dao!! (wei bei liang xin) =.=

Hao lah.. juz kidding lah.. cannot praise him too much if not his girlfriend wait for me outside OPS with a parang or something. =/

nevertheless.. good to know you.. Bryan Lim Shao Lin!! =)

ok lah.. one whole day man.!! Blogging is no easy matter. Dunno when i'll come and blog again.. till then.. all take care. =)

Late post

2006-11-15T12:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

ok.. i noe i am like half a month late to say this.. but..

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! =D

Halloween night was pretty amusing. Kaitee, leong, Ren Jie and me get dressed up and prowl the night street of Orchard Road. Very funny!! Cuz I think we are the only 4 dressed up, and along the way, people on the streets keep pointing and giggling at us. Well, but that is the fun part I guess. The actual parties were all held at the different clubs the Saturday before, so we were really late, but its on the actual day wat, albeit no one dresses up lah. Haha.. The night was pretty cool.. our costumes were all cheapo lah.. cuz the actual costumes are darn expensive.. So we DIY-ed. Very horrible make up skills we have. Haha.. as you can see..

as i said, our costumes are darn cheapos! We bought our props from NTUC like, the day before? And it cost us like big 30 over bucks!! Damn.. tats rather expensive for us ok. Anyway.. our make-up consists of mainly baby powder and eye-liner and black nail polish!

Before the stuffs got onto our face!!

That's not a penis on my face. Stop asking!!

Renjie! I dunno what kinda ghoul he's supposed to be, but he drew that specs on himself, which somehow looks amazingly real.

Choon Leong aka "Ah pek gui". i gave him that title, and even draw the moustache for him. heehee..

Ah pek gui goes crazy!! did i mentioned, the boys out on black nail polish as well. =)

The 4 of us!!

i am very mean! i can't help but zoom in on Choon Leong! =x

BHWAAHAHAHA!!!!

err hem.. sorry!! and so...

we're all set and ready to go!

On the streets!

Some random kid they guys grab to take photo with.

Damn.. it turns out to be one of the guests staying at OPS. I covered my face as she keeps asking me why we dressed like tat and stuffs. Dunno if she recognised me.. but damn.. so paiseh!! And i dunno why the photo turns out like tat!

dunno why the pix so blur!

trying to dig his nose with my nails. haha!

Leong said that the most embarrassing thing is not the nose or the specs, its the moustache!! Wahaha!!

I noe the Billabong pouch is a bit tak-match with the whole thing lah! bleah!

We went off to cineleisure to catch a movie. We watched "DEATH NOTE". Omg!!! Its so nice. Go watch go watch. anyway..

At Cine!

See the shawl over Leong's neck? Its bcuz i scared we go movies and i'll be cold, and yet i have no place to keep it, so i hung it over his neck and told him its part of his Ah pek's image! LOL!

i haven told him the truth yet.. he'll know when he reads this blog. =p

Kai tee - btw, her lips ain't like tat one.. i drew it on for her with my lipstick. LOL!!

ME! They say i look ghotic, not witchy! =/

After dinner at BK, we sort of hang around and start taking photos. Wa lau.. everyone keeps staring at us man. haha..

Mei lian jian ren!

mei lian jian ren 2!

Wondering where the boys went suddenly? Well.. me and Kai tee went for dinner and guess where the guys went.

Arcade!! =.=

Oh boy.. i can imagine the looks on the face of the other patrons of e-zone!!

Ok.. tats all for halloween night. In case u guys interested.. i've uploaded them into multiply. Click HERE to take a look.

Next year.. i shall dress up, i mean.. REALLY dress up.. and go to one of the parties at the clubs, and have a real halloween. heh heh..

till then..

See ya.

Familliar Look?

2006-11-09T06:08:00.000+08:00

HI ALL!!!

Looks familliar huh??

Yup yup.. this was my previous blogskin until when i hit my down times, and got tired of looking at that silly smile so big on top. I've been looking around for quite sometime for a new layout, but in the end i still end up with this... =/ I am so freaking busy.. and lazy of course. Besides.. although this layout is nothing fantastic.. but i do myself de. =(

Anyway.. i dunno if my counter still works... and my tagboard too. I have long forgotten my password and use ID for both accounts. =/ I will need some to recall or to get a new one.

Meanwhile...

Watch this!!

The tricks are pretty cool. And of course the person doing is is damn cute lah. heehee...

And.. erm... i can't help but put up the link lah... sorry if i bore you. =p

Here's another...

I'll update.. i promise!!! Soon lah.. =)

-

Pardon me!!

2006-11-06T02:38:00.000+08:00

i came across this very beautifully said paragraph:

....just as often, in those occasional solemn moments, we talk about how fuckin lucky we are, that we are on the right side of the system, the cold unforgivin singapore education system. cos we made single digit points at O lvls, and made it to nus, and graduated with honors. that's why we're sittin here havin the drinks, not behind the bar mixing it ...

My response??

...

FUCK YOU!!

-

i always thought...

2006-10-18T03:38:00.000+08:00

He's juz another korean cutie tat stupid girls go goo-gaa over...

that he is one of those bimbo-ish celebrity that is only gorgeous and with absolutely no talent or watsoever...

i NEVER NEVER thot... he is such a heart-trob.

PEOPLE...

Go Drool ba...

-

I Feel So Bad!!

2006-09-28T23:49:00.000+08:00

Today i was in class with a few of my colleagues... and the class was the size of 23 pax. We were divided into different groups by the speaker. So happened that me and this guy, let's call him G, was in the same group as me, and was just sitting beside me at the same table.

So we were discussing bout the topic.. when i realised..

His fly was half off!!! =.=

Not really forget to zip lah.. but its half off.. like zip spoil le will auto slide down, something like tat. Cannot see the underwear lah.. juz halfway down like tat... but quite big leh.. and i was very mean.. i did not tell him. Cuz.. i am a lady and we work together de lor.. somemore we not really tat close.. i really can't bring myself to tell him :

"Eh.. G, ur fly is off!!"

...

How sia? So the whole time i was hoping someone will notice and maybe be nice to him, but i guess either nobody looks down... or nobody bothered to tell him.

THEN....

We were asked to present our work.. and G volunteered!!!!!

O

M

G

!!!!!!!!!!

You know how i feel when he stood right in front of the whole class of 23 and started happily presenting and telling jokes somemore. You know how embarrassed i felt for him!!
OMG.. i am so mean.. i will have my retribution de. One day i will do my public speaking with my buttons undone or my fly off, and NOBODY WILL TELL ME!!!!!

Wat am i going to do...? I will make a fool out of myself... Retribution ah!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-

LOL!!

2006-09-28T00:25:00.000+08:00

I very bo liao... so went online to view youtube videos. I came across this, which i think may put smiles on plenty faces. I never took much interest in his works lah.. as in his albums and songs.. but he is no doubt a wonderful host for his variety shows. Apart from that.. i am really into his dancing skills.. and most of all.. i LOVE his character. =) I mean.. i love this character in anyone.. ANYONE with this kinda character definitely catches my attention even among a big crowd.

CLICK!!

Cute hor... so handsome lah.. no wonder so many girls love him. =)

JB trip with Weifang and Kaitee was pretty good. Went to sing KTV... damn shiok. 3 mics, we take one each.. no one to fight over with. Gwahahaha... sing until cannot tahan le... then went shopping.. and of course without fail... fabulous dinner at Jalan Wong Ah Fook. Everything was fine.. we didn't rob or molested, only almost got attacked by a flying cockroach. Everything was perfect (albeit being really tired).. until....

i very kindly bought 60 pcs of chewing gum, intending to distribute among the kids..

And i got caught. =.=

CB!!!

I never get caught before lor... in fact i NEVER got stopped before.. (i look so goody and innocent) shit man. 1st time i buy so many then kena stopped... so paiseh. i still try to flirt flirt with the officer to let me thru.. KNN.. lucky never get thrown in jail.. double charge!!! Wahaha... shit lah.. now tat big fat records book in their office got my big name liao. Grrrr... sibeh sian.

Ok lah.. dun grumble liao.. never get fined i happy liao. But too bad lah guys... u all won't get gum from me again when i go to JB next time. =/

-

I am so tired!!

2006-09-27T02:08:00.000+08:00

Both physically AND mentally.

i am suddenly sick of everything...

Work. Friends. Beliefs. Trust. Past. Present. Future. Life.

EVERY SINGLE THING!!!

i did not mean to be pessimistic in my blog again. I also do not want the negative thoughts to creep into my life again. It hadn't been easy picking myself up after those miserable months. The ordeal was unbearable. I do not want to slip back into those depressing periods again. I am not even sure if i can take it the 2nd time round.

But on 2nd thoughts.. maybe i should learn to whine more.. so that people will know that i too, have my vulnerable side. I am not as strong as everyone thought, i just dun like to show it out. If i can whine and cry and tell the whole world my problems, maybe people will start to spare some thoughts for my feelings. Would it be better this way??

Do not.. i repeat..! DO NOT, take sides if you guys dunno wat exactly happened. That is all i am asking for? Is that too much a request?? You have not heard MY side of story. And i have no obligations to tell you all the content!! It is MY problem, not yours. (you all did not ask anyway.) Not that i am asking you all to probe into my life and poke ur nose into every single thing i do. But wat i dun like is.. you all just heard one side of the story and.. BAM!! Everyone start taking sides.

HELLO!!?! EXCUSE ME??!!?? HOW ABOUT ME??

I am not saying that my side is always right. But for every single matter.. there are 3 sides. My Side, the other side,and the truth! The bottom line is..the truth, like all other truths.. have all gone to the Bermuda Triangle. They will never be found or known. Since the truth will never be acknowledged.. Why judge??

Enough already!!! Please all!! I can only take that much.

-------------------------------------

The birthday celebration had passed for more than 2 months already. The other day, one of the bday kids told me he did not know that i uploaded the birthday pix online. Sorry if the link to my birthday post was so teeny weeny. So here is my site address.

www.nickwind.multiply.com

No need to expect too much from the link. Nothing much leh. My photos are all of high resolution, the size very de big ah.. so uploading takes an abso-freaking-lutely long time. But do check back once in a while, esp after some event. If i good mood i'll spend some time there lah hor.. =)

Btw.. Underwater world trip pix are also in. I am still in the midst of uploading the videos.. as i said.. SLOW LAH!!

My internet is not dial-up.. but its not tat fast either. I got pissed at myself when i realised how slow my internet speed is. Pissed because i stupidly sign for a 2 year plan for $10 less a month, and in turn sacrificing half the speed. I dunno wat the hell i was thinking at that time. Maybe cuz i was too broke at that point of time and $10 a month seemed like a great deal. Never did i know later i'll buy an MP3 player, later upgrade to nano, and also have a 6mp camera, and have a camera cum MP3 handphone. =.= And now... downloading and uploading of stuffs seem such a chore. In case you are interested.. i have another one and a half year to go. =/

Tsk tsk.. sibeh sian juz by the thought of it.

Ya i know.. sometimes i can be tat stupid. Sigh.. I cannot believe it.

=(

-

I HATE IT!!

2006-09-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

I hate it when people patronize me.

I hate it when I lose trust in people I trust.

I hate it when I have to open my eyes wide, sit and watch things happen and yet unable to do anything.

I hate it when the look of pain on his face.

I hate it when ________________________________.

I hate it when people say that I am weak.

I hate it when people know that I am not weak and thus they assume I am strong.

I hate it when people think that I am superwoman just because I dun whine.

I hate it when __________________________________.

I hate it when people think that I am incompetent just because I made a few mistakes.

I hate it when I see shallow and superficial people.

I hate it when I keep having the feeling of disappointment.

I hate it when the sense of disappointment keeps getting stronger.

I hate it when I have to lose to someone without even trying.

I hate it when _________________________________.

I hate it that I cannot whine and cry to just anyone.

I hate it when I need to cry but there’s no one to cry to.

I hate it when I am wrong about something and people know about it.

I hate it when I know, and people know that I am wrong about something, but in the end, I am right.

I hate it when I am right about something that is not good.

I hate it when everyone _____________________________.

I hate it when people trespass into my territory and vandalize what is mine.

I hate it when things or people that I am trying to protect are being bullied, whether intentionally or unintentionally.

I hate it when I register the fact in my mind that things will just stay the way it is and it will never go my way.

I hate it when ______________________________.

I hate people giving me hot and cold treatment, no exception to who the hell you are.

I hate it when I have to feel so lousy over something that is not even my business.

I hate it when I tell people something, I have to keep worrying about it.

I hate it when people try to take away my source of happiness from me.

I hate it when people tarnish the perfect image I have over something.

I hate it when I keep feeling that I am so tired of everything.

I hate it when unnecessary people try to control my life, no matter verbally or physically.

I hate it when ______________________________.

I hate it when people ask me idiotic questions like why are they so many blanks in the “I hate it” sentences, cuz its obvious that I cannot say that’s why the bloody blanks. (No pun intended)

I hate it that I have to leave so many blanks, so many things I cannot say.

I hate it when people get all so paranoid that I am talking bout them when they see this entry.

I hate it when people ask me why I hate so many things.

...

Haiz.. I hate it when I hate so many things.

-

Underwater World

2006-09-19T14:14:00.000+08:00

And so... according to plan (luckily).. we went to The Underwater World!!

*loads of pix.. if you are using dial-up..go wash ur face, make a cup of coffee.. or maybe take a nap.. then come back.

You guys can click on the pix to have a better view in a new window.

So here we go...

The ladies

The men

And all of us!!

Fishies!!!

i know i dun look like 22 but sheesh already..!! *frowns*

Gay boys caught in the act!!

Very extra!

i dun understand some people.. when ask them to take pictures, they siam here siam there, cover here cover there. But when others are taking picture, suddenly they become very interested. For example this Mr Loh here. Do keep a look out for him. =)

ahem!!

At the Touch Pool

Beautiful!!

Somehow stingrays became the main topic that day. Everyone was dared to touch the stingrays.. i sibeh hum ji... the furthest i went into the water was wrist deep. Not i scared i'll die from stingray sting.. its tat i juz dun like to touch fish. Anyway..the rest had fun!

Jun Jun

Kelvin

Renjie

That's Kelvin btw...i think he enjoyed himself the most at the touch pool. =D

LAME!! *shivers*

For those who doesn't watch SouthPark animation series.. you will not understand the lame-ness.

In the tunnel

The poster!

The imitation. LOL!

I cannot control... i keep thinking of curry fish head. =/

i can't see the crabs either.. but the colourful thingys are them.. cleverly camouflaged!! Thus the name lah...

Sorry.. i am thinking of chilli crabs.

This is one big-ass crab. It juz sits there like nobody's business and stares at us.. a whole tank of them can!! I wonder wat the UWW people feeds them.

This is called "Ye Hai Long" in chinese.. i forgot wats the English name.. so i anyhow translate. Its the closest to my memory liao.

This is one classic photo. (after many attempts) Poster for Jaws 5.

LOL! They gonna kill me.

There really are many many photos on the sea animals.. but i really cannot upload all. so back to us again... =)

u dun understand??!!??

Watch and learn! And i said Sheesh already!!

We met a super duper whooper cute little boy boy.. and we ALL go goo-gaa over him. All the girls flocked to take pictures with him.. and his mama charge $300 per picture. Of course.. after the photo-taking session... we sneak away without paying. We do not have $60000. =(

And i am not posting all..

The guys got jealous.. *wink* And i know i spelled "stressed" wrongly. No need to remind me.

Awwww.............

At Dolphin Lagoon

I love you!! =)

Little furry fellas... damn cute!!

Mostly videos on Dolphin lagoon... not many pictures lah. too bad lah! And i tried to embed them into this entry but somehow i keep getting errors, and i am too lazy search for them. So if you want to watch.. juz click on the links..

JellyFish
The Dugong
Stingrays
Sharks
Big-ass fish

So the day comes to an end...

Going Home.

-

Taken at Harbourfront. But no story for this pic leh.. i juz want to prove my point that he is very extra. haha.

Thats all lah... for all (and original) pictures.. wait till i upload them into multiply... i tried to upload the other day but after 3 hrs.. it prompt me connection interuppted. =.= damn!! i lazy liao.. once its up in multiply i'll inform u guys ok.

btw.. if you haven to visit my blog for the past 2 days.. i am sorry. The page was meant to be a draft. Blogger sort of screw up on me, i save the drafe they still published it. So all the captions and links were wrong. there.. now this is the proper one ok.

They say picture paints a thousand words

2006-09-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

and So it shall be...

WORLD FOOD FAIR 2006

On 6th Sept, me and my dear went to the WFF, which is located at

of

There were lots and lots of stores, and lots and lots of food. We took hell lot of pictures, but i decided not to post it cuz we personally think the food sucks... so we juz took the shots and pretend the food were damn good!!

Me!

Xiau Yin!

Maybe its the 1st day.. all the chefs no mood. **Actually is i no mood cuz got a lot of pictures to post and i am very sleepy, so i blame on the chefs. (Actually really no good lor!)

anywayz...

after the food fair, our clothes very de smelly due to the enclosed gigantic kitchen..

There was a mini fun fair out there..

i wanted to hop on a heli but was stopped =/

then we got bored and start snapping again. This is one classic shot.. cuz we bo liao!

This and many many many more.. but decide not too post. Same reason as above**.

As if all the food from WFF is not enough, we went to Orange Julius.

I love Orange Julius. Healthy and delicious, albeit a bit expensive lah.

We Love OJ!!!

Next we went to the airport, reason being we bo liao... and we took a plane to China.

Along the way we took plentiful of pictures... but not gonna post it as well. Reason being as above**, and all those pics shud not be seen by ppl, Cuz we are both 22 and the pics show a different story. =/

At the airport..

we ate very very expensive chocolates.

yea.. eat again... =.=

Told you i went to China. *smug look*

Have a whole string of photos again. But again... not posting**.

Going home!!

Looks like auntie go market.

This one better.

Ok lah.. i wan go sleep liao. Underwater World pix tml.. (hopefully!)

.

I AM SO HAPPY!!!

2006-09-07T02:06:00.000+08:00

I am going to the underwater world tml... =D

I am a bit paiseh lah… that everyone took leave to accompany me. But whenever I think of the trip… I can’t help but feel a tingle of excitement. Tee hee hee… happy lah… I have been looking forward for so long le neh… then I thot its gonna be cancelled again due to exams coming up for the kids. But but… we are going lah. =)

I hope we will have fun... no spoilsports… no rain… no nothing… juz fun fun FUN!!! =D

-

HELP ME!!!

2006-09-02T03:59:00.000+08:00

i am so veri de sleepy!!!

I am still wokring right now. Midnight lah. Now is 4am.. i need to tahan until 9am later on. i cannot take it liao.. I haven got my sleep for yesterday, due to work and the basketball session in the morning. And now... and i doubt i am gonna get any sleep wen i knock off later on. OMG!! I am like falling asleep as i am typing. Damn... i am going to look horrible on Sunday for the interview. =/

Oh ya.. talking bout interview.. NO!! i am not going to tell you wat interview i am going for. Hmmph.. it shall be a secret If i get it then i shall blog and tell the whole world. But i highly doubt so, so i am going to keep quiet about it.. if not i dun get it i will paiseh. =X

i was browsing thru the internet out of boredom that day, when i "accidentally" stumbled across my long-abandoned friendster website. The last time i updated it was like donkey years ago. Now... friendster has a whole load of new and exciting features which i dunno how to use a single one. And i realise.. ppl DO visit my page. I believe they do not deliberately come to my page lah... juz that looking at their friend's page and "shun bian" visit my side. But the point is... ppl DO see my sight and i am ashamed myself that my page still consists of the same old pix since 2 yrs ago and still sing kiddish languages. I am desperately trying to "upgrade" my page but te thing is.. I DUNNO HOW TO USE FRIENDSTER!!! i am so outdated lah... so much so tat my page still has the original layout, colour and blah blah. The best i can do now is juz upload more pics lor.. at least ppl dun fall asleep when they stumble upon my site and judge me as a boring person. I AM NOT.. OK!!!

I AM JUZ NOT INTERESTED IN FRIENDSTER OK!!!!

anyway.. updated some pix lah.. go view if u free... tats the best i can do liao. =/

.

CB ah bu neh neh!!

2006-08-16T03:17:00.000+08:00

.

I saw him masturbating...

WTF man!! Bloody Indian!! Juz sit there among the bushes and start wanking and not even bothering to be more discreet.

When I saw him, he had already ejaculated. Saw white substances squirting out his penis. Fucking disgusting can!!!!! I didn’t do anything, which I bloody regret now lah. I should have screamed at him, throw a stone at him, spit at him, laugh at him... ANYTHING!! Instead, wimpy me juz gave him my killer look and juz walked away.

I am so furious now as I think of it. Angry at myself for letting him go as if its nothing wrong is masturbating in public, in broad daylight somemore! CB!!! When I “diao” him, he still give me tat innocent and very "high" look.

i SI BEH ANGRY AH!!!!!!!!

But come to think of it, positively, that is, that he did not “shoot” his stuff inside any innocent female passer-by. I mean rape lah.. duh~!! Ya… at least he relieve himself and no others are hurt. But at least dun do it openly like tat lah, I think his main aim is to scare the shit out of girls. I should have called the police lah! Shit!

i am so fucking Ham Ji!!! So ashamed of myself!!! *Pfft*

.

i know i am real mean...

2006-08-06T08:50:00.000+08:00

-

But this is fucking funny lah...

This one is damn cute too...

And this is horribly disgusting... =/

Enjoy....
-

Once bitten, twice shy??

2006-08-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

Or should I say.. once bitten, forever shy??

I will not let history repeat itself.

WILL NOT!!!

-

Happy Birthday!!!

2006-07-30T16:39:00.000+08:00

I had a good birthday.

Not the Indochine thingy though.. cuz the whole things sucks big time. Music was not good, drinks were expensive, and dance floor was small. The invitees were.. erm.. not unsporting.. at least some of them lah. But i guess cannot blame them ba… the club was totally miserable. For those who came.. thank you and so sorry bout the monotonous night. For those who fly plane… Lucky u didn’t come.

Ok.. back to good birthday.

It started off with waste-her-bus-fare-and-time plan… as if my transport not siong enough. I was told the party was at ECP.. and I will be tortured in and out, up and down. Well… so we took this long long journey to Marine Parade. Next was make-her-pissed plan.. and so we “lost our way”. He claimed that he really lost his way.. God knows. Organizer secretly called helper and asked:

Organizer: “How?? She got angry or not??”
Helper: “ No leh.. She play until very happy leh!!”
Organizer: “ -_- !! ”

Cuz I was playing with..

Meet Coca-cola and Pepsi-cola... (funny names)

She is prettier than me. =(

They really made my day. Besides, all along I knew more or less wats happening already. But I promise her I won’t say anything even if I “sense something amiss”, so I played along lor. *Zip* Cannot get angry also. Hee hee.. but it was a fine day lah.. there’s sun. there’s dogs, there’s food, and there’s friends. How to get angry? =)

The party was at night. It was especially for 3 birthday kids, me (22), Jasmine (18) and Teck Liang (17). I had fun, everyone had fun. I guess. The party was dirty. VERY dirty!!! Flour and water, the perfect combination. Everyone sort of went crazy. Haha… I really wanted to post up the pictures and go into the tiniest details, but I am at work now and it’s a freaking load of photos.. and I am very loh soh…So pls click here to view the pics and vidz.. they are pretty much self-explanatory… =)

Special thanks to core-organizers Chiu Ting and Choon Leong. I can really see the effort the moment I took down my blindfold. The scene was spectacular. Candles, sparkles, people.. all there in a small pavilion in a park. You guys are great, and I love u for tat. The party was lovely and I enjoyed. Once again.. to Ting and Leong and everyone who helped out even juz a teeny weeny bit (for eg lighting the candles.. haha!).. you guys rock. Here’s a big thank you for u guys.

THANK YOU!!!

It was a very kiddish party, but I love it. =)

Happy Birthday!!! =)

And i got my strawberry cake. =) Wahahaha~!!!

i tried to edit to put special effects to make it nicer.. but it turned out otherwise. =/

DIE!!!

2006-07-29T00:11:00.000+08:00

-

I think i have Androphobia!

siao liao!!!

=/

Do You Know..??

2006-07-25T10:08:00.000+08:00

** All About Leo

Leo proudly bears the symbol of the lion -- which didn't happen by accident. It's an association brought about by this sign's reputation for being brave, strong and just about fearless. Since the Lion is the king of the jungle, he also endows his signature sign with the qualities of a natural ruler. Leos can pull the mantle of authority over their shoulders at a moment's notice and start barking out orders -- benevolently, of course -- just as quickly. To pull it all off, certain qualities are a must: charisma, to start with, along with the ability to enchant and enthrall the masses. Like those of many popular leaders, Leos' 'followers' often seem to simply fall in love with them!

Bringing all those qualities into a relationship means several things: First off, the Lion's partner can't help but feel honored and, at times, a bit overwhelmed by the task of measuring up to such a partner. If you are a Leo yourself, you will, of course, do your best to let your chosen partner know that nothing is too good for them. You'll put your all into showing that lucky soul that they not only 'deserve' you, but that they're also worthy of anything -- as long as it's good, fine and pleasurable. The best of everything is all that will do. Luckily for the rest of us, Leos automatically endow their loved ones with a sense of worth that not too many others can match. They also carry themselves with regal demeanor, so whoever happens to be on their arm can't help but feel royal in turn.

There is a humble side to Leo, however -- again, only when it comes to the ones the Lion loves. This kingly sign will go right out of its way to make anything happen for cherished friends and family, whenever it's humanly possible. But don't fear, Leo: While it's not your ultimate goal, this unparalleled devotion ensures that you'll receive the same in return, with just as much emotional extravagance.

Speaking of extravagance, Leos are famous for that too -- and for being lavish, theatrical and, at times, a tad on the melodramatic side (even in the company of those they've just met). Keeping the latter qualities in check is their greatest challenge and also what will keep them honest and reputable. So, to all you Lions out there, find a way to strut your stuff, a stage that deserves your presence, and a way to preserve your dignity, and you'll do all the other residents of your jungle proud!

-------------------------------------------

i was so proud of myself being a Leo..

...

until i met you.

I think its really stupid..

2006-07-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

to borrow money to buy non-necessity items.
(eg; handphone)

I just did!!

A big 400 bucks!!

Alright. tat makes me extremely stupid too.. but wat difference does it make? i've been silly all thse while.. and yesterday after the disputation with him(again!) I have decided.. even if I starved to death, I must get a phone!! *determined look* Hey.. Get it clear..

I HATE PEOPLE PATRONISING ME!!

He just did again!! (and again and again and again.)

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!

Ok lah.. I admit I was the one who provoked him 1st(as usual).. and I know its very kind of him to lend me his hp for so long with no obligations on my side.. But hey..

STOP PATRONISING ME!!!

I have such urge to shove the bloody phone up his ass and hurl abuses at him for sizing me down like tat. “Why??? U think you can degrade me juz cuz I owe u and u are doing me a great favor is it??? WTF!! U think I owed you.. wake up ur idea.. u owed me far more.. irregardless on material or not.. U OWED ME!!! And you’ll never me able to return even if u sell your soul to me (not tat I wan it) and blah blah blah… $%#@$&$*^@%#*$%&#%#&#* #&#*..!!”

with *$%#@$&$*^@%#*$%&#%#&#* being vulgarities and ugly gestures.

Ok.. wishful thinking! I didn’t. And thank god for that.. cuz that would have made things a whole load worse.. I am VERY capable of hurling abuses and things I will say might make someone commit suicide. (almost) So, thank god I did not shove the phone up his ass or whatever tat follows..

My point is.. wat I am getting from him pissed me off. I mean.. he’s not like tat lah..(or is he?) its juz stupid thinking on my part.. but still, I cannot take it anymore.

I HATE PEOPLE PATRONISING ME!!

(okie.. I juz repeated myself,shows how much I hated it, doesn’t it?)

So well.. its my fault tat I provoked him 1st.. but I didn’t apologise either.. cuz I have done the “sorry” thingy far too many times.. “bu zhi qian liao” (worthless) and I doubt he’ll accept it too.. so.. Save it!! *Shrugs* So right now.. I bought a phone.. though its not the one I really really wanted from the bottom my my heart.. (I’m broke and I’m desperate, remember?) but not bad lah.. all I need to do now is juz try to fall in love with it.

And so.. i shall return the phone and very sweetly and politely say: "Thank you sooooo much for lending me ur phone to tide me over. =D *big smile* " Good?

Well.. after the brawl with Mr I-am-pissed-and-I-dun-give-a flying-fuck-whether-its-ur-bday-or-not, I doubt I’ll have a very happy birthday. Reason.. we quarrel BECAUSE of my birthday, and simply.. I still care. But whatever it is.. I am determined to have fun, and my 22nd birthday will not be “just another day”. I have invited a handful more than 20, but I only reserved seatings for 20, cuz I expect to see a few planes whizzing pass on tat day.. well if suddenly everyone is so siao-on.. we share seats lor.

The thing is.. I have made myself clear that I won’t be paying for them.. I dun understand why am I so bothered that they come or not? I am one crazy girl.. I got pissed and all when a few of them replied late.. WHY!!?? I am not even paying for them.. maybe I just wan the attention? Selfish Bitch!! And yet.. surprisingly, the ppl were damn siao-on.. so many coming.. though I dunno how many planes I’ll see on the actual day lah.. but siao.. so many. Damn.. I seriously wish they come cuz they love me and wanna celebrate with me, not bcuz they afraid to turn me down. That would be really pathetic then.

Suddenly I feel so lousy. Now I know why Mr I-am-pissed-and-I-dun-give-a flying-fuck-whether-its-ur-bday-or-not dun give a damn bout me. =(

*soul-searching time*

Ok I am back!! So.. after soul-searching.. I am a better person.. a bitchy one though. Now I can have birthday wish right..? I mean.. add-on lah.. can I have:

A strawberry cake!!

Come on!! What is a birthday without a cake right? So.. a teeny-weeny piece also can.. pretty pls.. =)

I wanted to say I want a hp pouch for my new hp.. but I think I better dun, cuz I’m afraid I’ll end up with like, 10 hp pouches for my birthday. Hai.. You know the kind where the “entrance”, the zip side, is by the side instead of the top? Oh..did I just say it out when I say I didn’t wan to?

Nvm.

Before I end, juz a gentle reminder:

I like Money best. =)
(ok.. maybe not really that gentle)

.

Nostalgia

2006-07-17T15:44:00.000+08:00

i was watching some Hong Kong drama serial tat day.. a princess, and a commoner who was in love with each other, who thot that nothing come between them or bring them apart. But somehow.. the guy changed his mind.

------------------------------------------------------------------
Girl:
“你别再骗我了, 你是喜欢我的, 你说出来啊, 你说, 你说你喜欢我啊!

Boy:
“我们不可能在一起的，你和我是不同世界的人。你还是走吧，别再来找我了。

Girl:
“我为了你可以放弃一切, 只要你开口, 我可以设么设么都不要跟你走.”

Boy:
“对不起.我负不起这个责任.” *looks longingly at her*

Girl:
“我是女孩子, 我都不怕, 你怕设么? 我都可以放弃一切,你还在想设么?

Boy:
“那你就当是我没用, 一切都我的错!”

Girl:
“我看不起你, 当初的承诺怎么了, 你答应过的事情都不记得了吗? 你现在为设麽这样对我?”

Boy:
“不管你说设么, 我只能说, 对不起!!!” *Shouts at her*

Girl: *cries and went away*

Boy: *cries, but still, he let the girl go*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s been so ridiculously alike. I seriously wonder who is the more heart-broken one? The guy or the girl? Obviously the guy loved the girl.. he didn’t bear to let go at all.. but why did he insist so? As for the girl.. Why is she so sure tat the guy loved her? Just for a few things he said and promise? Is she stupid or stupid?

its rather ironic i keep getting replays of this scene.. again and again.. in TV shows, in novels.. and in my mind.

A wimpy guy and a stupid girl.

How nice!

Birthday Wish 2006

2006-07-16T13:38:00.000+08:00

Shall be celebrating my birthday tis year at a club. Very heng-ly, my manager happened to have a friend, who is the manager of Indochine. And she is so sweet, helped me called up her fren (though she haven called him in ages) to ask him if he could get me and my underaged frens in. -.- He said he can reserve tables for me and even offered to play my fave music!!! How neat is tat? Well.. my manager had already called her fren, and he agreed to help me.. yup.. hopefully I’ll get discounts too. Pretty pls…!! =)

Right I have already sent out the invitations, I hope y’all (friends) will give face and party with me. I seriously hope nothing goes wrong.. eg: last min he cannot get us in. -_- NO FREAKING WAY!!! Pls dun let tat happen.. I’ll die. =”(

*Prays with fingers and toes crossed*

According to my manager, Indochine is supposed to be quite an atas place. Tsk tsk.. now I am worrying abt the prices. I’m really broke man.. damn.. I wish the price is ok.. and I’ll get good discounts.. if not very de shiong.

Speaking bout being broke.. yesterday I sent out the invitations via sms.. to many of my frens.. and in my sms, I mentioned bout the party and time and venue blah blah.. and very curtly I put in:

“No need to bring presents, juz bring cash to pay for ur drinks cuz I am as broke as you, so I can’t pay for u guys.”

That is like so.. .. cheap. =/ It is true mah.. so I said tat. But I feel like a meanie.. asking ppl to go clubbing with me and making them pay. Ahhh…I could have died from embarrassment if my face had not been tat thick-skinned. Thanks to years of training.
Hmmm.. damn.. I forgot.. I shud have added into the sms, after the last sentence..

“… so I can’t pay for you guys, but if u all wan.. I certainly will not complain if you wan to pay for me.”

=)

WISHLIST

I have tons of things tat I wan leh… and I realized.. (together with feedback from Chiuting) tat with every coming year.. my expectations get higher.. and more demanding. LOL!! Its either too expensive.. or impossible to achieve. Muahaha.. well.. bo bian.. 人要进步!!! Corrr-ight??? =D MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH~!!!

1) A tattoo – I wanted to get one as a bday present for myself this year.. but I haven even decided wat kinda design I wanna put on. Plus.. I am too broke.

2) A new handphone.. but the thing is.. the models tat I am attracted too are always the top highest few, in terms of pricing, tat is. And lagi worse.. I am interested in no other phones except these. (2) And the same reason apply too.. I am just too broke.

3) A boyfriend- must be tall, gorgeous, rich and absolutely sweet.. and have the ability to make me happy and tolerate me. He must not be a wuss.. rich as one is.. BE USEFUL. (useful but not rich I also dun wan) ahhh.. not forgetting.. must have a sense of humor and dump tat ego.. I’d like to be the dominant one. =)
--> “Mission Impossible 4"

4) I wan to stop being a bloody sua-gu. Can u believe it.. I haven been on a plane before. This is totally unacceptable!!! I MUST fly to somewhere tis year. ANYWHERE~!!! Anyone wants to present me with an air-ticket (round trip pls) to anywhere. Bangkok also can.. I dun mind.

*Whispers* Psst.. Bangkok is where I am most looking forward to go now.. *Giggles*

5) And as usual… the most practical thing of all....

CASH!!!!!!!!!!

Yes yes.. how wise I am.. Cash is good, cuz it makes me happy. Now who says money can’t buy happiness. =)

-

Alright alright.. i am juz joking (or maybe i am not).

But i do know that there are ppl who do try to fulfill my wishlist for me. I've seen the effort for my 21st birthday. And have i said it already..? I LOVE YOU GUYS!! Esp Chiu Ting.. thanks for the immense effort put in to make me happy. I knew you always try to get the things i wan for me by rallying everyone. I really appreciate it.. but u muz understand.. not everyone loves me like you do. If i accept a present.. i wan it to be from the bottom of their hearts.. and not bcuz they are paiseh to reject ur request to share my present. u get it? Still.. once again.. Thanks a lot and I love you. =)

i wan to have a wonderful birthday. (^-^)

Belated

2006-07-13T11:38:00.000+08:00

This place had been seriously let out for more than a month. My bad. Life was not disinteresting, its juz me. I seemed to have lost interest in blogging. My personal diary is still running full though.. cuz I have been faithfully writing.. I love to write.. I love to blog too.. and I always have stuffs tat I wanna write here and share with u peeps.. but somehow everytime I sit down in front of the computer with the blogger page in front of me.. and we’ll juz start staring at each other for a few minutes.. and I’ll click the “cross” thingy at the top right-hand corner. And TA-DAH~~ Nothing done!!! And so this phenomenon went on for several weeks.. here I am.. blogging again.. but not online.. juz merely typing out on a word document. Hopefully by the end.. I can actually post this entry up. =)

Its been only a month.. but many things happened.. Let’s start from right where we left off.. I hope I can still remember. Here goes..

`*`*`*`*`*`*`*``*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
Batam Trip

It was fun. Fun .. FUN~!!

Besides the usual reason we always go to Batam for.. tat is the massage and food and all.. we made frens. =) So next time when ppl ask me.. “Go Batam for wat?? Fun meh??” My answer, instead of “Aiya.. sian mah.. juz go walk walk lor”, I can say “Go visit frens lah!!”

...

Ya.. not tat big a deal I know.. but its kinda fun u noe.. that we made frens while overseas. Well.. its actually 2 guys which did the foot reflexology for us. They were real cuties.. we sort of play and joked around.. and I liked them. =) We even met went clubbing at night. The club we went to was fatabulous. They had a live band that sings really well.. the music was darn good.. the kinda music tat will trigger off ur every cells and makes u wanna get to the dance floor and shake ur bon bon. I danced a bit.. but didn’t go to the dance floor though.. cuz I looked horrible tat night. I was wearing a Giordano polo tee.. a pair of Bermudas and beach slippers.. not exactly clubbing wear.. -.- so I thought I better stay low profile. A lot of Mei nu there..better dun hao lian. I think the males will like it.. loads of flesh flaunting by the mei-nus.. =p

Spent 2 days there.. we had seafood for supper, and seafood for breakfast. Such extravagance.. totally spoilt ourselves. But it was a good experience.. For once.. I felt rich. Bought some stuffs there… not exactly tat cheap.. at 1st I thot they were.. but when I came back to Singapore then I realized.. well.. they’re not. Oh well.. I shall not dwell over it.. cuz although their not as cheap as in Sg.. but as least I got the things tat I wanted. Brown lenses.. a nice outfit, and erm.. perfume. =) Heh.. I’ll still go back.. but maybe not for shopping.. juz to relax and all.. and.. to find frens.. remember..? =D.

3rd morning.. took the 1st ferry back. Once I board the ferry.. I’ve started missing the guys already. Sad.. We.. basically dun understand wat each other is talking bout.. cuz I’m not fluent in Indonesian and they can’t really speak or understand English.. and yet.. we get along so well. But back in Sg.. I received sms-es from the guys.. funnily enough.. we exchanged sms-es.. in total Bahasa Indonesian.. I’m not really tat good lah.. so I gotta get help from many ppl. So the sms-es exchanging session went on a few days.. until I suddenly realized my bill will go “BOOM”.. and so I stopped. Somehow I lost interest in replying them already.. very mean of me.. but I still miss them.. but I guess the feeling will only be back when I see them. Hee hee..

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Chiu Ting

She is back. =D

BROKE!!

Bought LOTS of presents back from the US. Oh.. I didn’t blog bout her leaving for USA.. Sorry.. my bad. I was too depressed to blog.. =/ anyway.. she.. being her.. had something for EVERYONE!!! Nice girl she is huh.. no wonder everyone loves her. =) I think she’s staying here for good now.. US may be a nice place where everyone yearns to go.. but I guess her home is here.. with us. This is where she will happy.. and safe. Good for her. She told me she is coming back cuz she found a school.. need to apply for her student visa here. I was so damn looking forward to come back.. it was then I realized how much I missed her. Good tat she is back.. gonna get into her dream course in our very own local polytechnics.. and she’s gonna do well and shine. Who says one will definitely succeed if you are in US? She will do as well here.. and her future will be as bright.. if not.. brighter. Good Luck. =)

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World Cup

Oh Yes.. the once in every 4 years event came.. and gone. I was pretty active in this season of WC. Nope.. I didn’t bet at all.. except I got cheated out of 10 bucks from my malicious colleague. We were both broke and he made money from me. =/ DAMN!!! Anyway.. not forgetting my “bet and sure lose” fate.. I stayed off all forms of bets. But I watched most of the matches.. as I am so lucky.. OPS actually had TV and SCV available for guests to watch in the lobby.. and I.. work in the lobby. =D So I am watching football cuz I have one whole stretch of night shifts due to lack of staffs. And if not.. I’ll meet up with the guys and watch in outside. This season.. I can totally feel the WC mood..

Brazil only made it to the semi-finals.. and so did Argentina.. so did Holland.. and so did all the teams tat were predicted to get the cup. -.- 1st time watched Portugal play.. and despite the papers splashing negative feedback about them getting a taste of their own medicine.. trying to cheat penalties.. yadda yadda.. oh yeah.. despite all these.. I fell in love with Portugal. I dunno much about football.. but from my point of view.. they did really well. I just love their spirits. And of course not to mention tat absolute babe in their team. He outshines the rest. =) Needless to say.. he’s been playing the lead character of my fantasies since tat day. =p

So cute~!!! *blushes*

Ohhhh~!! *drools*

All my fave teams gone out.. and the finals consist of 2 teams which I am not particularly interested in. At 1st I thot I am not going to follow anymore.. but on 2nd thots.. 4 yrs once leh.. if I missed it.. I’ll have to wait for another 4 yrs. So.. I watched. =) 4 years later.. I dunno if I still have the energy and enthusiasm to actually stayed up and follow all these matches closely.. old liao leh.. whatever it is.. Brazil is still my fave.. all the way.. And of course.. Portugal. =) Already looking forward to Worldcup 2010. Singapore talk big big say year 2010 will get into WC. Wat say you…? =)

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McDonald’s crew outing 2006

Nothing fantastic.. was looking forward to a tan.. and I didn’t see any sun.Worse.. we need to hide from the rain. The weather was not pretty.. the beach was dirty.. the food was ok ok nia.. and the games were.. erm.. boring. =/ I did try my best to be sporting and all lah.. I’ve missed out 2 years of outing.. (Not interested) and now since I’m there.. might as well make the best out of it. Was kinda looking forward.. thus it was rather disappointing.. Other then the “self-entertaining” time.. like volleyball and football and swimming.. the whole trip was.. a thumbs-down. But whatever it is.. the most important is that the frens get together and all. Yeah.. its always the friends. U guys rulez. =)

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Work

Work so far.. had been smooth. I’m loving it. =) Right now.. y am I so free to type out such a looooong entry.. is bcuz I am freaking free.. and quite bo liao actually. I’m currently at Riverside View.. on attachment.. gotta swap with a guy here. I think he dread going to OPS as much as I dread coming here. LOL!~!! But after coming here.. not bad leh actually.. the people are nice.. really quiet here.. not like OPS.. so bloody busy everyday. Well.. now I gotta make sure I get enough sleep everyday.. if not given the traffic here.. I’m afraid I might juz fall asleep while working. Haha.. well.. I’ll be back at OPS in a month’s time (hopefully). 3 days here nia.. already missing OPS.. not the work load lah.. but the people there. I actually made some friends.. who are tenants of OPS. Really nice ppl to be friends with.. and the colleagues who always make my day.. miss them so much le. Hmm.. hope they doing fine there.. shall see them very soon. (hopefully) Things had been pretty cool here at RVS.. the tenants mostly kept to themselves.. not many ppl to talk too also lah.. peaceful place I’d say. But I still would wan to go back to OPS.. not tat I dun like it here.. juz that I prefer the pace of OPS.. and I am started off from there.. I shud be back. I juz hope the peace of RVS stays.. and when I go back to OPS in a month’s time.. everything will be the same waiting for me.. =)

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Err.. this entry was written like.. last week? And it consists of stuffs tat happened ages ago.. so it might looked a bit retarded and old.. Well.. sorry then.. if its my fault? Duh!

....

My birthday is coming soon. =D

-

Gimme a break..

2006-06-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

SERIOUSLY!!!

一波未平，一波又起。

After high fever that refuse to subside, then flu, bad cough, then food poisoning.. then sore-throat, then suspect tonsil infection (again!) ,then stomachache again.. -.-

Enough already... all those medication i'm on are making me weak in the knees, and its worsening my gastric problem. Its terrible.. my goodness! I spent like dunno how much on medical fees and have been on a diet of porridge and plain food all these while.. BlEaH!! Hopefully, hopefully... that's all le... i dun think i can take anymore leh.. That's all ok?

Pretty please..!!??!!??

Haiz.. juz grumbling nia.. let's look at the positive side.. i'm still alive and kicking.. right? =)

Anyway.. i'llbe heading for Batam tml after work.. pretty late at night..

yeah yeah.. i know.. Indonesian earthquake and stuffs.. let's juz pray and hope i'll be fine and come back in one complete piece ok.. and that i have R&R enough.. (rest & relax)..

Actually.. there's really nothing that fantastic about Batam lah.. the previous trip was alright.. pretty nice.. but nothing really.. erm.. fantastic. Shopping is pretty expensive, the cheapest are the lingeries liao..

but you know.. i juz want to get away from here. HERE! You know the kind of feelings.. sometimes you juz need to get away cuz its really suffocating here.. well.. hopefully this trip.. i can leave all my troubles there.. including my bad luck.. i'll come back a lucky, and happy girl. =)

Gotta go sleep.. my blog is starting to get boring.. and toying with the idea of closing it again. =p I have no idea wat to blog about.. lost the ability to blog le.. haha.. i have my diary.. which i still carry everywhere..and write everyday.. it sure is busy there.. but all boring stuffs, stuffs which i cannot put here.. =/

Good night.

Damn!!

2006-05-24T18:00:00.000+08:00

my fever refused to subside.. and it had gone as high as 39.1 degree... i slept like 20 hrs a day.. i can't eat.. i can't walk.. i can't do anything at all.. even watching TV or using the computer is such a chore. Hope tomorrow i'll be well enough to report for work.

ARGH!!!

i dun even have the energy to type now.. gotta go sleep.. =/

Soldier down!!!

2006-05-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

After 1 month plus of slogging.. finally surrendered and waved the white flag.

2 days MC!! =/

i am really sick now.. actually had been quite sick for some time.. but didn't take much notice and today.. "BAM!!!" All attacked me together.. i'm like aching all over now.. sore throat.. fever.. running nose.. all at once. I desperately need a shoulder to lean on.. a strong arm to hold me cuz i can't even stand straight now.. but there's nobody e'se's tat i wan.. except his. But i know its not possible.. so i'll guess i'm on my own.

I had tried to take it to my limits.. and i've reached it. After these 2 days MC.. gonna start start slogging again.. and i shall see when's the next time to take MC.. haha..

Feeling terrible now.. need to sleep. Cya!

Get well soon!!

Bewildered!

2006-05-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

If u could steal one thing from me, wat would it be? A reply is a must! Forward this to all your frens and you'll be amazed with the replies. But reply me 1st!!! =)

A few days ago.. i received this msg. Three at one go.. -.- i was wondering wat happened.. how come suddenly all msg me at the same time.Initially too.. i thought it was juz some lame sms/tricks to allow the service providers to earn big bucks. And i was thinking.. bleah.. another chain letter or something. Usually.. i will TOTALLY ignore them. But somehow.. i juz felt like replying them.. hoping to be cheered up by their "amazing" replies. I am amazed, indeed.. for it turned out pretty interesting.

i replied:
- I wan your hair (-To JiaXing)
- I wan ur eyes plus the lashes (-To teck Liang)
- I wan your legs, minus the hair (-To Jia Jun)

*yawn* i can't believe i gave such boring and "un-witty" answers. Well.. upon replying them.. i asked them wat do they wan from me instead.

One said - "I wan the courage tat u hav, which i dun".
One said - "I want your temper, i won't get bullied at work".
One said - " I want everything!!".
(holy piece of crap.. the sms states one thing right? -_-" So greedy!!)

When i saw the replies.. a weird feeling overcome me. Esp the one JiaXing said, wanting my courage. i felt the almost insuppressible urge to reply him:

"Silly boy, you dunno wat my so-called "courage" cost me."

Seriously, he doesn't know. If he knew wat happened, all because i have the "courage". Would he still want it? And Teck Liang wanted my temper.. lol~!! Wat's so good bout it sia..? Always getting into conflicts with superiors.. and getting secret hate clubs.. lol~!!

Ironically.. i felt kinda honoured too. Maybe it meant nothing to them.. juz a casual reply but i am touched. Seriously!! Too many things happened, and too suddenly, that i have lost confidence in myself. And i began to doubt my character and morals. But after reading their sms-es..i felt kinda encouraged. Though its short-term encouragements.. but it made me realised.. some things tat i began to hate about myself.. there are ppl out there who would love to have it. Maybe they're not tat bad afterall. My aggressiveness.. my individuality.. and of cause according to JiaJun, my everything.. indeed make me unique, and stand out from the rest.

I used to loved myself more than anything in the world. But when he came into my life.. i gave up my number one place to him.. i loved him more than everything else.. even myself. I expect the same level of love in return.. but i didn't get it. So.. maybe i shuld start loving myself all over again. And of couse.. i love you guys too. =)

So...if you can steal one thing from me.. wat would it be?

-

i survived this week!

2006-05-13T03:10:00.000+08:00

Hoping to survive for the many many days/weeks and years (hopefully) to come. 9th day working without a break.. running both areas of work too. I haven see the pay yet.. gotta wait till next month. I wan to buy a phone. I am not the kind who will dump half a thousand (or more) on a freaking hp.. but i have no choice. My plan is not due for another 1 and half years.. i have to buy one on its own. I have a phone now.. but its not mine.. i feel so fucking useless tat we have no strings attached but still muz use his phone. -_-" NB! The more i think.. the more distressd i feel.. So.. i will buy a phone.. and will return him his. There.. FULL-STOP!!

Haiz.. say nia lah.. say wanna buy my own phone say until so many months liao.. i am still holding on to his phone. Ppl muz be laughing their head offf for me being so fucking spineless. Things have come to this stage and i am still dependent on him. I also dunno.. everytime i need to buy a phone.. some things of higher priority is bound to come to mind.. tat i need to get before a phone. Or is it tat i simply do not bear to put the full-stop in this whole affair.
CB.. useless piece of crap.

Work was alright.. so far so good. Nothing BIG happen.. (yet!) though i need to work with a molester (U FUCKING PIG!! STOP TOUCHING ME!), a "niao-ren", a brain-dead woman, and a "my character-alike" woman!! Other than tat.. it was pretty ok.. met a lot of ppl.. hope to hook on a rich guy soon.. hee hee.. i think soon leh.. cuz i am pretty active in "sian-ing" the eligible ones.. although there are mostly married.. but my hands are off the married guys lah.. i hope tat guy i am eyeing at do not read my blog.. cuz i am openly admitting.. i need "him" to get over "him".. =/

Well well.. apart from the "unique" colleagues that i have to work with.. plus the torture of heels and bun-up of hair and tons of make-up.. yeah.. everything else is fine. I love it there.. i hope they love me too. I am working hard.. i hope to acheive what i wan.. get my recognition.. and prove to "niao-ren" tat i am not wat he thinks i am. =D

My fatigue is causing me depression, as usual. its hard to get over it..i think a lot.. and reminisce things tat used to happen.. when life was still good. Not tat its not good now.. everything is almost back on track (Thank god!).. but last time.. life was close to perfect.. and right now.. its still way far from perfection. I know i shouldn't be complaining too much now.. when everything is going fine. But still.. some things tie me down.. and mainly.. memories. I have to bear with the pain in my heart (and my feet) everyday, its adding on to my fatigation and melancholy.

Tough man..! HAI!!!!!!!!

If anyone up there is listening.. pls pay no mind to me.. i am juz grumbling. No harm.. i swear.

Going back to JB tml.. for 2 days. Looking forward to meeting up with my cousins.. time pulls ppl apart.. as time passes.. we all grow up.. and grew distant. And to this stage.. we realised.. we still have got us. =)

Robbing incidents is really getting serious. Keeps getting use tat ppl close to us kena.. so fucking scary!! Tml going back.. PLS PLS PLS.. dun let anything happen. Let's all be safe and come home in 1 complete piece. =/

Meanwhile.. all take care. (And pls dun mind my excessive use of vulgarities..i am so shag!)

-

奋斗-ing..

2006-05-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

i'm still alive.. though barely.. but i will update soon..

meanwhile.. enjoy this to relax a bit..

Its a japanese variety show.. and i think the artistes are asked to watch a video and not allowed to laugh.. or...

will kena whacked..

Pretty funny.. sorta brighten up my never-ending gloomy days..

enjoy peeps...

And best actress award goes to....

2006-05-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

*drum rolls*

ME!!!

yeah.. me! I am such a spanking good actress tat i surprise myself even. No one knows tat my heart is still broken.. no one noticed my teared-swollen eyes.. no one realised how pretensed my laughter is.. I managed to fool everyone...and i can almost include myself in the list. I feigned happiness almost every minute, as long as i am not alone. i play CS.. went shopping.. eat supper.. everything seemed as normal as anyone can imagine.. even when ppl dumped me alone at the bus-stop.. my face went from =D to ="( but i quickly regained my composure and went back to =D! Ar bo why i can get the best actress award?

proof-

i wrote this entry before i saw this..was bored halfway thru this entry.. and i start to blog-hop.. when i saw Lipsin's blog.. then i saw this..

I keep thinking back.. about how i behaved during tat period of time. What i did and said.. Tat is so..... not me! Whenever these scenes flashed through my mind.. i would closed my eyes and cringed in embarrassment.. how disgusting i looked.. and i swore to myself..

I WILL NEVER BEHAVE LIKE TAT AGAIN.. NEVER, NEVER AGAIN!!!

Now.. i worked 7 days a week... hopefully.. like wat other said..i can forget everything.. juz work and work.. and sleep and sleep. But when i decided to go this way.. i forgot tat i am some weird species different from others.. This solution didn't worked tat brilliantly for me as it had for others.. cuz when i am tired.. my mind start wondering more places. I am crying more than 4 weeks ago.. but the favorable thing is tat.. at times when i am really not able to "perform" my best.. i'll dismiss my dejection as fatigue.. and my puffy eyes as lack of sleep. I must say that they are rather fool-proof. but still.. i "almost fooled" myself.. but i didn't.

anyway.. I dunno whether he still reads my blog or not.. but i'd like to say it to him anyway, tat:

******************************

i'm sorry.. i lied.. i dun hate you.. instead.. i miss you terribly. I read a novel.. and i felt tat wat the author said is true. You did not bring this pain to me.. i inflict the pain upon myself. You did not caused me anything..I have chosen this way.. its solely my own decision. I have said alot of things senseless things in my outrage.. pls let it go in from one ear and out from the other. Its a big favor i'm asking, but pls..

Yesterday when u said tat ur bus had come.. and left me alone at the bus-stop.. tears almost sprang out of my eyes right that very second.. i dunno whether u did tat on purpose or wat.. but it broke my heart. I can almost hear the cracking sound. And till now, whenever i think back to tat scene.. i choke on my own tears. You will never be able to feel how i felt then.. no one will.. cuz I dun understand.. you will never do it to anyone else.. but why me? And in the midst of all tat confusion.. i have to maintain my act.. can you feel me?

anyway.. Although i always said i dun believe in love anymore.. I lied.. as usual. I still trust you.. still trust wat we have between us. But wat happened to us was unavoidable, and tat things juz didn't worked out for us. If there's really a need to blame one of us.. its definitely not you. I know i always said i understand.. but my actions proved me not. But believe me or not.. i have tried my best. So..

Sorry.. again!

******************************

i dunno how long my pseudo-happiness can last.. but i guess no one will really apprehend.. cuz one day i WILL be ok.. i dunno when but..when i am, there will be no difference anyway.. cuz everything will be exactly like now.

So.. no need to bother!

Nice Link

2006-04-29T09:42:00.000+08:00

Something to share

came home from work one day.. and sis showed me the link.. Done by a really cute guy for a really cute girl..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjfZPLnvXys

How was it?? Isn't it juz so sweet?

i'm sure many ppl will think so.. but to me..

its bullshit.

i actually wanted to make some really demoralising and nasty.. but i guess.. juz leave it.. and enjoy the sweet moments. =)

Once again..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjfZPLnvXys

Cannot tahan...

2006-04-26T23:30:00.000+08:00

MUST SLEEP!!!

Ever since Sun.. i haven been getting enough sleep.. 1st few days still ok.. can hang on.. if i still dun sleep tonight.. tml sure gone case. A bit stoned now.. looking at the monitor typing oso like the computer swaying like tat.. hmm..

Anyway.. days at FEO.. so far so good.. a lot of things changed since before i joined.. (the seniors told me) Now more strict.. everything more precise.. and tp management very particular..not bout certain things.. but EVERYTHING. So now according to them.. very difficult to work now.. =/

But still.. a lot of things to learn.. my experience in the service industry.. is very casual.. So its kinda different over there.. cuz everyone we handle are ppl of the upper-caste.. 上等人 so called. So handling them muz be extremely careful.. and in a professional manner..also bcuz the place is a 5-star service residense.. Its a place where no normal ppl like me are able to afford.. the price is crazy i tell u. At McDonalds'.. the highest bill i've settled is like $800 plus.. but at FEO.. everyday i am seeing receipts of $4k.. $10k etc.. seldom do i see cash.. all i saw was Platinum card.. American express card, Krisflyer watever blah blah.. u name it.. The cards are so fucking bling bling tat i have to squint when i collect the cards from them. And i can assure u.. they look nothing like our POSB card.

Good experience actually.. Get to meet a lot of ppl.. All shapes and sizes and colors.. they are all pretty nice.. of course there are some black sheeps lah.. u noe the kind tat behaves like the whole world is indebt to him/her. But yeah.. generally.. they are quite nice. I hope someday.. i'll be able to be like my supervisor.. u mention guest's name.. she know which room he/her stays in. U mention room name.. she can tell you what the guests requests and wat kinda "kuan" he/she is. I am impressed.

After 3 days.. most of the ppl has shown their true colours.. some of them appear to be really nice to you..but they are the most vicious ones. Muz be careful working there.. very de dangerous. My shoes and my hair are still the troubles.. esp my leg.. really killing me. =/ There's also quite a number of ppl who are really nice to talk to. Being chatty as i am.. meet chatty ppl.. wahaha.. the whole pantry all our voices.. erm.. ok.. mine actually. haha.. but well.. working with these bunch of people.. time will pass faster.. ok lah.. so far so good.. hope this will remains.. and hope i'll have the endurance to hold on to this job.

Alright.. gotta go sleep le.. tml work 7am.. so freaking early.. damn scared i cannot wake up.. =/

Ok.. good night.

1st day at work

2006-04-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

Was pretty alright.. Quite boring as i cannot do anything cuz i ain't know nothing at all. So all i did was walk here walk there.. get to know more bout the place.. where is where and stuffs.. People were ok for a 1st day.. maybe haven show their 真面目 i guess.. there's a few weird ppl though..

like there's tis guy who was really helpful to me.. guiding me and bringing me around.. then suddenly he flared at me.. well.. not exactly flared at me lah.. but his attitude sort of 180 degree change like tat.. all because someone dirtied his clothes... -.-" Another one talked to everyone BUT me... but after tat we went for lunch together and we talked A LOT!! Then there's another guy who was really cold to me.. he face black black come in to work.. and practically ignoring me throughout. . Then when i was juz about to decide tat "i dun like him".. he started asking me questions and joked around with me.. -.-" all 怪怪的!!! Well..juz hoped they are all really nice ba.. hard to work with disgusting ppl around.

I have to stand throughout my whole shift.. and my new shoes is such a drag.. its like i can feel my toes falling off.. torture ah.. Make-up muz be obvious and hair muz be bun neatly.. (my Hair~!!!) i need to wear skirt as part of my uniform.. and thus i need to wear stockings. The trouble of wearing stockings is something guys and girls with pretty legs will never understand. =/ And worse.. i'll show off my fat and ugly elephant legs throughout my days with them.. =(

And something i hate most.. i need to lunch alone.. -.-

I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!!

Somemore food at Orchard.. Expensive and horrible cooks they have.. hai.. i guess my life there will be always overnight food packed from home.. and instant cup noodles. Good thing.. they have pantry, you know with microwave and all.. haiz.. and i have my own locker.. great cuz i can then leave my uniform and court shoes at work base.. but bad cuz i CANNOT BE LATE!! cuz i need to get there early to change.. so.. which means i really gotta go sleep now.. but nvm.. a few paragraphs more...

Actually i have always wanted to get into hotel industry but i do not have the necessary certification nor experience.. and was actually thinking of working for 1 or 2 years.. earned enough money and go for further studies.. but right now.. i unknowingly walked into a some sort hotel industry style working environment.. its like hotels except that this is service apartments. So wat i learn now is basically wat a normal hotel operation is.. And heard tat if i am good..i can request for them to sponsor me for further studies.. for courses relevant to my work..

Cool~!! I think i will stay if tats the case.. but i dare not pin too much hope. Like last time when i got my prisons job.. i thot the earliest i'll leave the service will be 2 yrs, tat is upon completion of bond. Little did i know tat i did not even go for training.. and mama said fortune teller said i this year will keep changing jobs.. so who knows... tat the same thing will not happen to me again.. so better dun pin to much hope.

Alrighty.. i really gotta go sleep now.. extremely tired. Good Night.

I'm Staying.

2006-04-23T03:30:00.000+08:00

...

...

...

And I'm back.. =D

i've decided not to close down my blog le.. juz leave it here.. will try to log in once in a while.. write some rubbish or nonsense.. juz to keep it going. =) I know some ppl won't give a damn whether i keep it or delete lah.. but its my blog.. i do watever i wan.. whether u like it or not.. hee hee.. yup.. its still gonna be here for quite some time i guess.. though won't have the time to update regularly.. but i'll try.. =)

i found a job liao.. gonna start work on Monday.. new work.. new environment.. gotta start everything all over again.. a bit nervous bout it.. but i think i can handle.. =) hopefully lah.. the place really grand.. deals with the upper class people.. thus my uniform and my grooming all very strict and for formal.. and I NEED TO BUN MY HAIR!!!! -.- When working at Prisons.. i never rebond my hair.. cuz muz bun while working.. rebond le also no use.. so after i resigned from Prisons.. i rebonded my hair and daringly dyed my hair purple.. not high-light.. but the whole thing.. purple.. i am pretty le.. ok.. then when the manager told me i need to bun my hair.... i went..

-___________________________________________-"""
(courtesy of Ah Wang)

Yes!!! Sian.. VERY sian..

My hair sure gone case liao.. haiz.. anyway.. i have a job now.. something i like.. hopefully the whole "package" is favorable.. Package includes:

1) Colleagues
2) Working environment
3) Benefits
4) Working hours
5) So on and so forth..

Hopefully all will be good.. and i will be fine. I will work hard. =)

i was thinking hard tat day.. and i came out with a top 10 list of things i wanna do. 人生短短几十年.. it'll be a pity to juz let it pass like tat.. somemore i have decided to end my everything at the age of 40.. tentatively lah.. maybe earlier.. or later.. or never.. if i found something, or someone worthly for me to live on.. watever it is.. tentatively.. before the day comes.. i wanna do the following:

1) Bungee Jump

Ya.. really really wan to do it.. imagine the adrenaline going thru ur body when u go down.. down down..? Feels like jumping off the bilding..? hmm.. definitely not an option for my 40 year old pan.. i wan find an easier way to end lah.. painless.. and still stay pretty de.. =/

2) Do voluntary work for 3rd world country

I can't do much.. but at least help a little.. dunno i'll have the chance or not. I mean.. well.. i dun even know the procedures and how can i go about doing it.. but i'll find out. =)

3) Get Drunk

As in.. really stoned out kinda drunk. When i go out.. i dun usually drink a lot cuz i am allergic to alcohol.. =/ and i am usually cautious cuz a lady, drunk, is very dangerous de.. =/ But i would like to try man..see whether its like wat ppl say... drunk le can forget all troubles and stuffs.. and erm.. i kinda pity the person who's out with me on the day when i decide to do this. hahaha..

4) Tattoos

Like.. at least 2 or 3..? small small ones lah.. i won't wan dragons and tigers all over my body.. neither do i wan Mickey mouse or snoopy.. -.- And NEVER am i gonna put names.. gonna be real troublesome taking them out later if things dun work out. I haven really decide wat i really wan.. dolphins..? heh heh.. maybe.. will have one soon.

5) Go somewhere far on my own

Maybe go back packing holiday or something.. or maybe go further studies.. either one.. juz wanna go somewhere realy far.. and be alone. Lonely leh.. but a new experience ba.. the previous trip to KL dun count.. too near liao.. haha.

6) One Night Stand

Err.. ya.. you heard me right the 1st time.. haha.. weird thing to try out.. but hey.. i'm young.. y not? Sounds fun.. =x And erm.. this ONS thingy.. pls dun start coming to ask me.. (i've got some really weird frenz =/) hahaha.. i guess i'll go for strangers ba.. imagine, its so damn embarrassing to do it with a fren.. =/ Well.. No way... and i'm not gonna tell anyone even after i've done this already. *zip*

7) Speeding

I'm not a very good driver yet.. but i like "speed". It feels good to be behind and u are in control.. I'm still holding my probational license.. so i can't speed. And i dun dare to do it yet.. probably after more practice and when i have more farmiliarity on the roads 1st ba.. gonna find a big empty road.. and Vroom~!!! i'll go.. hee hee..

8) Work at a night spot

i have always wanted work at these kinda places u noe.. like.. pubs.. clubs.. night time work.. actually i'll be able to do this really soon de.. cuz thot of going to the restaurant pub (i think) where my fren is working for interview on Monday de.. but i got my current job during interview on Friday.. well.. I AM still gonna do it someday.. maybe not so soon.. but yeah.. someday... =)

9) Watched R21 show

I actually planned on doing it on my 21st bday itself de.. but no one wan accompany me go.. =/ All too shy le.. i know u all say nothing nice lah.. well.. and its not as if i've never watched porn before.. but pornography and R(A) is different de right? (ppl said) i juz wanna watch it on the big screen.. you noe.. the experience.. hee.. anyone wan go with me??? =p

10) Kill someone

Err.. dun think i'll be able to do this one at all lah.. but its still something i wanna do.. haha.. haven come out with a name yet.. hai.. even if i have a name i'll never be able to do it also.. =/ nvm.. put for fun.

All 10 above.. are highly exciting.. (maybe) and dangerous.. i mean..maybe not really tat dangerous.. but it all possess a certain amount of danger lah.. like crash.. harrassment.. and erm.. STDs??? >.< Well i dunno if i can "acheive" all 10.. but i'll try. Of couse there's plenty other things tat i really wanna do.. but juz thot of these for the time being.. and its like.. weird? hahaha.. Not gonna let papa and mama know of course.. I'm oredi an adult.. i'm of legal age.. i'll have to take responsibility for my own actions and decisions. Besides.. nobody cares now.. =(

Anything happens.. i'm on my own.

I am Bored!!!

2006-04-19T02:30:00.000+08:00

VERY~.. bored!!!

Imagine the senario:

You juz love sirloin steak.. And one day.. someone promise you to the best sirloin steak ever in Singapore.. provided u work like a dog for him for X years.. of course.. you will accept the offer.. (juz imagine tat w/o the steak u will die.. duh!!) You work hard.. and u think about the treat day and night.. Finally.. the day comes.. ur owner belatedly decides to fulfill his promise... and brings you to the most high-class restaurant you have ever seen.. but always heard about its great cuisine tat left every patrons remarkably satisfied.. esp of course.. its sirloin steak. anyway.. U eagerly sat down and ordered ur appetent.. but the waiter frivolously said:

"Sorry Sir, Today beef out of stock.. would you like to have Chicken Chop.. or Fisn & Chips.. both top-notched too.."

You look intensely at ur "master".. seeking for permission to come another day perhaps.. but he said:

"Its ur own bloody problem.. this is a one-time offer"
(probably due to maybe entrance fee or something.. watever..)

So.. would you order one of their reputable dishes...? How do u feel...??

DAMN SIAN RIGHT???

Quite a lame example to display my feelings.. but .. yeah.. i'm being lame mah...i'm bored.. remember...? Well the main point is.. i am like the person derived of his sirloin steak.. i have my dream and i've worked hard for it.. there.. thot its right in front of me and "BOOM".. all gone!! Anyone who thinks i can juz breezily order chicken chop or fish & chips.. COME ON~!! You gotta be kidding me... i did tried to look around for other job opportunities.. but i am damn sian.. you noe..? My job searching so far had been done half-heartedly.. i have lost my goal.. i have no direction to go..

but whatever it is.. i MUST really get a job soon.. my bank funds depleting fast.. on top of tat.. i am on the verge of going crazy.. probably due to boredom.. everyday slack like nobody's business.. everyday.. Computer.. sleep.. eat.. computer.. sleep.. TV.. eat.. Next time anyone sees me.. i'll be triple my original size.. (size_now x 3 = Horrible) as i was telling my frenz..

我还没饿死，已经闷死了！！

I'm gonna change my layout again... this template by blooger is using xml.. and i ain't noe nothing bout xml.. yeah sure i did it b4 in poly.. but didn't i always said i suck at my course?? And xml is one tat i totally flunk at... yupz.. gonna use back blogskins.. using html is easier i guess.. i'm doodling with photoshop.. trying to do some lame banner..i'm gonna close down the blog.. ya i noe i've said many times liao.. but i'm really sick of seeing the same old post for weeks.. i'll juz close it 1st.. not gonna delete it though.. will come back and blog someday ba.. albeit dunno when... but yeah.. its gonna be gone!!! I would very much like to update u guys.. but apart from tat.. there really is absolutely nothing interesting to write about..

"Today.. i woke up at 12.30pm.. brush my teeth liao then look for jobs online.. but i end up playing game. After that.. mama ask me go help her wash clothes.. wash liao me and mama go out and have lunch.. and went to supermarket to buy something. After i come home.. i on the computer and play game again.. and read Xiaxue and some gay couple's blog. After tat i watch TV.. Superband is on and it is very nice.. then i ate dinner.. then come here and blog.. and play game again.. Talk to a few frens on MSN..i am going to sleep now.. love u all.. muakz.. nitez!"

-_-"

Boredom... especially to me.. is a very lethal weapon..my life is pretty mundane nowadays, tat i can almost copy and paste the whole paragraph above and post it in every entry.. 7 days per week.. if i blog daily, tat is.. If its not gonna kill me faster with the monotony.. its gonna kill plenty others.. let me juz keep my sins to the minimum.. i'm sinful enough.. you noe.. with all those erm... sinful stuffs.. =/ Not really tat appropriate to list them out.. as it will come up to quite a number.. but i'm pretty sure i ain't heading for heaven when my time comes..

Before i go off.. i'd like to clarify something.. I am never good with numbers.. tat include dates.. I may seem very "not fren" you noe.. when i cannot remember ur birthdays and all.. but pls forgive me.. i am not "bo sim" leh.. i juz cannot remember.. i did try writing it down.. but i lose interest in my calendar and i misplace it.. thus the method proved useless.. and when finally the memory of ur bday pops into mind.. its either way past liao.. or i remembered wrongly.. =/ there.. people whom i missed out.. esp my close frenz..

I AM SOORRRRRYYYYY!!

我不是故意的！！！

forgive me.. =(

Yaya.. Bai.. Edwin.. and those whom i didn't mentioned.. (suddenly how to recall all)

Happy Belated Birthday..

and erm..

Sorry lah... You guys know how much i love you.. right.. right??

Alrighty.. gotta go sleep.. if not interview tml will screw.. kinda paranoid bout screwing up things now done it way too many times.. wish me luck.. =D

bye bye!!

No more fantasy.

2006-03-26T14:56:00.000+08:00

yup.. i woke up.

i have long forgetten how happiness feels like.. so i guess i am no longer living in the fantasy world.. where everything is lovely and perfect.. and everywhere there is nothing,but happiness.

i changed my blog layout to the template provided by blogger.. cuz i am tired of seeing the previous layout.. sick of seeing tat pic right on top of the page.. yeah... the "me" there.. big big on top. Damn sian.. when i look at the picture.. i keep asking myself.." Smile until so happy for wat" Keep smiling as if life is so perfect.. everything is fine.. the world is peaceful.. but all bullshit..

maybe last time i was still young.. young = happy.. its so true.. and this pic.. i cropped the picture using photoshop.. there was someone else beside me then.. someone tat made me smiled like tat.. haha.. but...

its been a long time since i smiled like tat.. the girl in the pic tat is.. haven seen her for a quite some time.. wonder where she has gone. kinda miss her.. haiz..

so this template is ready-made de.. chose this dark dark layout.. maybe its cuz its wat i feel now.. i've always like black.. but slowly.. i open up and accepted other colors like pink or green or orange.. u noe.. the lighter.. happier colours. But right now... back to all black.. i think black suits me better.. haha..

anyway.. ciaoz..

Insomnia

2006-03-24T03:36:00.000+08:00

I'm having insomnia..

wat time liao..? let's see.. hmm.. WTF!!! 3.30am liao... means i've been lying in bed for the past 3 hours trying to fall asleep.. and getting nowhere near it..

My My.. where is the zee monster when i needed him most.. always attacking me in class and at work.. where is it now~!!??!!

er hem.. actually.. should be nothing new to me.. for the past few months.. it had always been like this.. the sleeplessness tat is.. but the difference is.. last time.. work made me tired.. made me crash. now.. my energy has no place to disperse.. (and u all noe i've got lots of it) and during the night.. my mind keep running places.. keep thinking bout lots of things.. my record so far.. lay in bed till 5.30am.. without any bit of drowsiness..

many ppl commented tat i look very shag.. very "qiao cui".. and like no energy like tat.. now u all know where all my energy went to.. all went to trying super hard to fall asleep.. haha.. I've tried every ways i know.. drinking milk.. take warm bath.. count the sheeps.. listen to music.. EVERYTHING!!!

None works..

Seriously..think i really need the pills.. i practically have to beg myself to sleep every night.. if this carries on.. either i'll be dead really soon.. or i'll become an old hag soon..
(shit.. i need to get my priorities right.. =/ )

btw.. is everyone's blog working ok..? Mine's not.. i can't seem to set my date and time after blogging.. how bout u guys.. drop me a comment to tell me wat to do if u all happen to know.. thanks lots..

and erm.. anymore bright ideas for me to sleep.. dun mind suggest.. =/

Also.. in case u all haven notice.. yes.. i am still jobless.. i did try to look for jobs.. but half-heartedly lah.. cuz no mood.. not really sure wat i wan.. and erm.. i got things to do leh. I did went for one interview though.. and i screwed up.. for those who knew me.. u guys know i NEVER screw up interviews.. but somehow i manage to leh. Feeling kinda useless.. i think i am turning to a worthless piece of crap liao.. =/ very jia lat.. anyone ur company hiring..? You guys know wat i am good at.. if ur company need someone like me..i mean.. any position suitable for me.. Pls gimme a call.. thanks in advance. =)

Haiz... i am dying of hunger very soon... =(

Jobless now!!

2006-03-01T13:37:00.000+08:00

today... i am officially jobless liao.

Packed my things..cleared my locker and "da bao xiao bao" bring everything home. I left my job.. a job i've waited for half a year.. a job i've always wanted. Now i've left.. back to the private sector. Trying to be positive.. it could be a good thing.. i dunno. Prisons is too strict for me anyway.. hmm.. but still...

Gonna return all my things soon.. so many things sia. Tat time got someone help me.. now muz go alone. =( haiz.. i love my uniform so much.. the 3 stripes on my shoulder looks damn cool.. but only wore for 3 months, and i have to return it liao. i was so looking forward to Changi women's Prison cuz its there then i can do operations work and interactions with inmates. At Queenstown Remand Prison, i can only stay at office. But once i tender my resigination, i was pulled out IMMEDIATELY.. to do admin stuffs at General office. I am not allowed into the institution anymore. That day.. i cried like siao. Imagine i am filing and crying at the same time. Nobody knew.. nobody cared. U can imagine how alone and depressed i felt.

i'm so free now leh.. need to find a job soon.. Free = Lonely. When i had stuffs to do.. it takes my mind of other things. But now so free.. the depression gonna set in again. i didn't mention hor.. i read thru the Depression poster.. 6 symthoms of depression.. i hit 6 out of 6. (-.-)

anyway... i'll be back-packing to KL for a few days.. hoping to take my mind of things. I hope i dun get rob or lose my way.. haha.. Esp when coming back.. i'll be alone. i hope i dun do things tat i am best at doing.. --> losing my way. LOL!! After i come back from KL.. my sister and frens will be going to Bangkok.. i was thinking of juz getting an air ticket and fly over to look for them.. cuz i wanted so much to go. Someone had a deal with me to work hard together and save money to go Bangkok in February. Today is the last day of Feb..well.. i guess i have to carry out this plan alone le. KL is more or less confirm lah.. as for Bangkok.. still considering.. funds low leh. haha...

So long never blog le.. i have a lot to say.. but not much to blog.. cuz a lot of things cannot write here.. so i'll juz have to keep it. But guys.. i am fine.. :)

p/s: Anyone have jobs pls intro.. haha..

I'm Giving up.

2006-01-17T18:31:00.000+08:00

i'm giving up my job.

Think so..

from last time 50% go,50% stay.. to 60% go,40% stay, to 70% go,30% stay..

until now.. its like 90% go and only 10% stay.

not tat i dun like the job lah.. i would really love to go on.. the pay is good, its a dream job since long long ago.. and i waited for so long and put in so much effort in it. And there is so much more to be learnt.. I can't bear to let go.

But.. i really dun have the confident to go on anymore. I know i cannot make it de.. i oso dunno why tat time i stupid stupid go apply and go for all the interviews and trials and tried so hard. Maybe cuz last time i have my pillar support.. now i dun. I really can't walk on anymore.. oh man.. its a long lonely road. I dun have the courage to go on anymore.. i dun think i can make it. the consequences of not being able to make it,is too huge for me to bear..

i am not like to like last time..everything tat happened lately has totally shattered my confidence.. Miss high-and-mighty is no more.i always joke to my friends.. the mightly lion (i'm a LEO) has transformed into a little kitten. Lol~!! No longer do i have the urge to prove myself.. i used to think so highly of myself.. haha.. now ended up with nothing.

see.. i am whining again. Tat's why i said i am going to close down my blog. But still hanging on lah.. cuz sometimes may have things to write and muz publicise my blogspot address again.. very ma fan. one day.. my diary is the poor thing lor.. every day write..sometimes write a few times a day, and those who read my blog know.. my entries not short one hor.. so poor thing. Last week bought it.. now half full liao.. haha.. well... one day.. maybe one day.. i might juz be myself again.. the woman who is so confident and think so highly of herself.. then i'm gonna start loving myself again and u all will start hating me again. Though i dunno when the day is going to come.. not so soon i guess.

anyway.. should be resigning by end of the month. Then i'll be jobless.. anyone wan hire me?? haiz.. gotta start looking for job.. wa lau.. one more stress to add on to my life.. as if now not enough.

my mama say next year (lunar).. the Rat will be the best among the 12 zodiacs.. hope things will pick up soon. get a job.. get a boyfriend.. get a life!! The woman i am now totally sux.!! really need to get a life instead of keep bothering others (him).. in the end making them (him) hate me.. treat me maciam sworn enemies (sha fu chou ren) like tat. wat the heck man.. ok lah.. i brought it upon myself lah.. can blame who sia.. i no life mah.. living this loserish life now. Nothing better to do go around making enemies lor.. fuck shit.

*slaps myself*

ok.. stop whining.. i gotta go.

I seriously need to get a life.

10th Day of 2006

2006-01-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

10th day of 2006

Still the same.. nothing much changed..

Fave computer.seldom on.. even if i on it.. i use it for less than 15 mins then off liao. No mood.

Watch TV?? No mood.

Go out..? No mood. (dunno where to go plus the rain)

Watch Movie?? No mood.. no company oso. Shopping? No Mood. (plus rain and no money)

Jogging?? No mood. (i hate jogging, the rain makes a perfect excuse)

Eat? No mood. (plus i am sick like siao, cannot eat)

Sleep?? Yes.. tats the thing i've done most. When i am tired, i sleep. Nothing to do, i sleep. Hungry, i sleep. Bad mood, i sleep. i become sleeping beauty liao. The only bad thing is.. whenever i fall asleep.. i dreamt of only 2 things.. work, and him. People say "Ri you suo shi, ye you suo meng" . When u keep thinking of something.. u will dream of it even. Well.. i guess its these 2 matters i can't let go, tats y whenever i close my eyes.. i see them. And worse still.. not every dream is good about them.

Totally irrelevant i noe.. but..i bo liao mah. Everyday juz mooning around like tat.. no motivation to do anything. Very stressed.. dunno for wat oso. Come here see my blog.. lagi sian. Update only once in a blue moon.. and all demoralise me somemore. I should be closing my blog soon leh... wanna keep personal diary again. Tat's where all my real thoughts and feelings will go..

Should be called up for my training anytime soon.. but.. i dunno if i am going or not... cuz i am really afraid of the training. Cannot run leh.. muz run 10Km endurance run. How?? Dunno lah.. i dunno wats going on in my life anyway.. heck lah.. i damn sian..

Re-cap 2005

2006-01-01T21:16:00.000+08:00

Re-Cap 2005

another year has come and passed.. and as usual.. i'll always have a recap of the passed year.. and come out with a list of new year resolutions tat i was never able to keep. Well.. true as it is.. it better than not thinking bout it right. hee..

2005 had been an overwhelming year for me. A lot of things happened.. and they made me grow.. both mentally.. and sad to say.. physically too.

in year 2005:

1) Managed to complete my Final Year Project with the help of many people.. and during the FYP period, i've made a lot of new friends.. all absolutely adorable and funky. We set up our SBC private limited and even have a blog.. surprisingly.. it lasted for quite some time before the craze die off. With these SBC members.. we had lotsa fun and tat made FYP tat very much endurable.Missed those long lunch hours and our crowded "slackers' corner". Actually.. with these bunch of friends.. its actually a miracle tat i am able to pass my FYP.

2) After my FYP.. i went for my Industrial Attachment Program at M1. Over at M1.. i got to know Jes, Zuraidah and Irene.My kakis during IAP. Boring as it is..the 9 to 5 working hours, but i kinda miss those times.. where we were ALWAYS hungry. Miss the malay stall food at MiWorld canteen. And how can we forget the "hai dai qi si" (seaweed and cheese biscuits). And also our very bo liao crapping and gossiping hours. Yeah.. was rather heng to get such an easy task for IAP.And it is during IAP phase tat i have the most blog entries.. too free liao lah.. =p

3) So and so.. after my FYP and IAP.. i graduated in July, with a not-so-outstanding result. After graduation.. we all went seperate ways. With the promises will contact blah blah.. hee.. seldom do we meet up lah. But sure do hope we all remember each other always.

4) I had not 1, but 2, wisdom tooth in a year. Does it mean tat i am extremely wise this year or wat? But one thing's for sure.. it is bloody annoying. and more problems coming up.. muz find money to take it out.. =/

5)I got my driving licsense le.. as a birthday present to myself. 1st time attempt and i got it liao. Dunno is i smart or i heng..Although cannot drive in Singapore lah.. but better than nothing lah. Next time i can afford le.. then come take another exam here.

6) This year i am 21 years old le.. i had a chalet.. and many people came. A lot of my friends came and helped a lot.. and many actually took time of their busy schedule to drop by my party. It was then i realise how much i am loved. Thank you guys so much. I love u all too.

7)Finally, i left McDonald's King Albert Park, after 7 long years.The kids threw a farewell party for me. It was lovely. I am glad to leave KAP for good, but at the same tme, sad, cuz i've been there for so long. And as i said, i love my job as a S.T.A.R, but i hate the system. Nowadays my weekends so free.. really miss my job there.

8)This year, i embarked on a new journey in my life. I now have a career. After the long wait and anticipation, i finally got my job as a prison officer. Although its not confirmed will i carry on the job or resign, as now i am still on attachment phrase, but i am trying.

9)The most overwhelming thing tat happened to me this year, is tat i have fallen in love and out of love,both trigger the extremes of my emotions. One minute we were totally in love, and the next minute, everything was gone. Due to this, i felt tat i have lost meaning in life. It causes a drastic change in me, and i wonder how long do i need to stand up again. Losing him, is not only heart-breaking, but also a pity, cuz everything we had built up over the days juz gone in a jiffy. Its also then i noe.. tat actually a human being can cry this much.

10)i realised i always think too highly of myself.i am tat proud and egoistic Leo,who always think tat with my wits and courage, i am always above others, irregardless of friends or work, friendship or love. Which now i realise, i am not. Love, the worse thing of all, got me down. I always thot i am not gonna me bothered by relationship problems. All my past relationships, i have handled them well, always making the absolute and rational decision to everything. But with him, it got me, hands-down. After my last relationship, i swore never to get hurt or let this game get me again. With him, i let my guard down.it was a pity, cuz i thot we were perfect together. But, the weird thing is, i never regret being with him, never. Anyone who sees the pain i am going thru, all asked me to give up. I am trying.. its always alot easier said than done. How many times have i counselled frens who fell out of love, and yet i am unable to do such a simple thing myself. Its not tat i cannot.. i am juz not ready to let go yet.

11) i've always wondered how does a suicidal person feel or think.. before committing the act. And now i noe. i've always been against suicides, but somehow.. i am starting to think tat maybe its isn't tat bad. I realised i have the symthoms, tats y i said now i noe how suicidal victims feel and wat do they think of b4 doing it. Its a dangerous development of thoughts.. i noe.. but there's a lot of things i cannot control now, esp my emotions. Pathetic enough.. i am kinda scared to realised too.. tat i have the symtoms of depression. (u noe lah.. the posters at bus-stops not long ago)

12) Things tat i used to strongly believed in.. does not seemed so real to me anymore. Nowadays.. i dunno wat to think.. wat to believe anymore. I dunno wat's wat anymore.i lived through everyday in a daze. Sometimes i was thinking.. i hope i juz wake up and realised everything tat happened with him is a dream. But yet.. i am afraid.. tat if its really a dream.. good tat the bad times will be gone, how bout the good times? it will be gone too.. how? i dun wan it to be gone.. i'd rather it not be a dream, let me carry on bearing the pain.. than let it be a dream.. and lose all the good days as well. Tats y i said.. i never regret knowing him.. never regret being with him. I still thank god.. for letting me walk into my life.

2005.. generally had been a fruitful and happy year. it was only towards the end of the year.. things went downhill. I was far from happy.. and almost to the extreme of the opposite side of being happy. But still... the days before were great.. i love everything bout it.. esp times with him. this year.. 2006.. i dunno when things will pick up again. When i'll stand up and be happy again.. and how successful this year will be. i have lost hope in everything.. so not really looking forward for 2006.. and days ahead. But.. i still wish tat 2006 will be a better year for me.. for him.. for everyone.

Everyone... pls take care. All the best for 2006.

Happy New Year.

Christmas for a loser!!

2005-12-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Merry Sucky Chritmas to all.

Same start of an entry as last year. Shouldn't have complained about last year's Christmas, cuz this year is worse.

right now.. 11am.. no one is online, MSN contacts all red colour. Everyone is either at Orchard or at some clubs, waiting for countdown. Must be having a lot of fun.

Me??

Right here at home, sitting in front of my computer blogging..

Wat a loser, right?? hah.. i thot so too.

i gotta get out of my house soon, if not dad and mum will start asking why am i not out at this time on Christmas eve? Hard to answer you noe.. cuz i am never home at party times. Go where?? dunno leh.. wonder around ba.. dun feel like joining the guys, dun feel like doing anything. lately, i have been feeling funny.. i dun feel like socialising..dun feel like going out with friends, dun feel like going to crowded places.i think i have developed agoraphobia or something.

Something is wrong with me, i dunno wat.Cannot find meaning in life.. very de xin ku. i really hope the storm will be over soon.. seriously i dun think i can hold on much longer. I dun feel like going out, but i cannot go home either. Cuz when i go home, i keep throwing my temper at my family members unnecessarily. And my mum will noe tat i not kai xin, and will ask me, how i answer sia. I dun feel like eating, dun feel like sleeping either. Going to work is like a routine, bo bian, then muz go. hai.. conclusion is, i dun feel like doing anything at all, juz feel like hiding one corner and rot. Favourite past time nowadays is crying. Its like a routine oso lor.. never pass one day without the risk washing my eyeballs out.

mum juz came in and asked me why am i still home, not going out to countdown meh?? I dunno how to answer her,then i juz anyhow mumble something (which i oso dun remember wat now) to cover up. Then she try to be nice wan go eat dinner with me cuz i haven eaten. She is my mum, she know something is wrong, but she didn't ask. I hope she dun though.. cuz i sure will burst out crying. Then tears welling up, i asked myself,

"wat am i doing here? Got ppl ask me to go out wat.. y dun wan to go? stay at home so loserish, go out and have fun lah.. wat for stay at home and rot."

haha.. so stupid.. asking myself questions, tat i cannot even answer myself.

i dun wan to be like tat wat..i wan to be my old self.. the party animal, the bubbly outgoing girl.. the one with lots of friends and find lots of meanings in life. but i can't.. i oso dunno y. I look so pathetic now.. and i feel so loserish (quoting Xiaxue). I dun feel like meeting up with friends, oso cuz i dun wan to see the vulnerable side of me, although a few of them is unavoidable, they saw it.

i dunno how much longer i can hold on. Everyday is a struggle to go thru.. esp the time when i knock off.. i dunno where to go, (cuz i can't go home remember) dunno wat to do. Weekends are worse.. one whole day.. dunno wan to go where.. tough life man!! its a miracle i can hold on till now, i dunno how much further i can go. a rubber band will snap one day if its been stretched and stretched. I wonder when will be the day i snap.

reading last year's Christmas entry, i realised i was having relatonship problems too. I said i missed Kainam a lot, and it saddens me to know tat we were so close b4 for so many years. This year, it got worse, me and him, we were not close for many years, but we were extremely close for the past 1 and half year, it not only saddens me, but it depresses me too, to see wat had happened to us now. i dun understand, is it a trend or something? Next year, no, i dun think i'll allow this kinda thing to happen to me again. Provided, i am able to last thru to next Christmas lah. Who knows, halfway thru, i might be gone oredi.

last year, i complained about having the worse Christmas in my life, i guess i shouldn't have complained, well now i have to change the worst christmas to 2005 instead. Last year i mentioned my New Year will probably be sucky as well.. but it turned out alright, in fact, it turned out wonderful. This year, i doubt i'll have tat luck, it'll probably be the same as now..or worse, ending up dunno where to go. 7 days to New Year, i dun think things will get any better so soon, so no need to pin my hopes too high.

Apparently, this entry is uninteresting and mood killing. Dun blame me, these are words from a loser, remember..? last but not least.. hope u guys had fun.

Merry Christmas!!

Major Changes

2005-12-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

Its been exactly 2 weeks since i last blog. (and myshoutbox is still screwed as usual)

today is the 2nd Monday of work at Queenstown Remand Prison. if u ask me how was it..

..

..

VERY BORING AH!!!!!

haiz... bcuz i am still not trained.. (meaning haven pass out from training school)i am not allowed to hold any keys. As u know.. there are hell lots of doors and gates in a prison, without a key is extremely difficult. Everywhere is so inaccessible, even if i need to go to the toilet or the cafeteria, i need to trouble someone else. i was assigned to a male staff sergeant for 2 days, and everytime i need to go to the toilet, he will need to leave his desk and wait for me outside the toilet. Is tat embarrassing or wat.

oso bcuz i am not trained yet.. there's is nothing much i can do. As QRP is a male instituition, I CANNOT GO INTO THE HALLS!!! meaning.. i can only stay at the office.. and do admin work. -.-

thinking back... isn't escaping office works tats y i signed on??

Its only at Changi Women's Prison then i can do operation side, which the guys are doing here at other institutions. So far.. =/

i cannot say tat the work is not interesting.. cuz i haven done much yet. i hope things will get interesting soon.. cuz now i am facing the dilemma of whether i wan to continue or resign.

to continue.. wat if i pass out from training school liao still get posted to do records duties?? Wat if its as political as they said (i hate politics). Wat if the working hours is really damn tough..?? (work 6 days of 1 day) if i cannot take it how?? if training fail how?? (damn.. running =/) muz pay the fee for breaking bond.. like.. 17k??

if i resign.. i need a job, and money.. how? (the pay is good) EVERYONE knows about me signing as prison officer, if i resign.. face put where?? its always been my dream, do i give up now? From applying till starting work, i waited a whole 6 months... juz let go like tat??

ALAMAK!!

its really not easy.. i am blogging today not bcuz i am feeling better already, as i said the previous entry tat i will blog if i am feeling better. In fact.. i am feeling worse. Facing major changes in my life.. getting a new job with a whole new environment, the whole new working hours.. 8am to 4.30pm. I have to wake up damn early.. and i freaking hate working hours like this. (Although now comparing to other shifts, i find this one best)

The one thing i needed most is.. support, and the person who is closest to me and most supportive, has given up on me. i noe many frenz and my family are behind me, but.. its a totally different thing. It is so much easier to have someone walking beside me, giving me support, during times like this. it is bcuz of him.. tat i have the courage to actually apply for this job.. alone, with no friends for company... (i suck when i dun have fren for company to do things) it is for him.. i hung on for so long.. waited for whole 6 months.. not giving up. it is for him.. i braced myself.. telling myself i can do it.. cuz he told me i can.. and i trusted his words.

Right now.. i feel so alone. i have never felt so lonely before.. at least not for the past almost 2 years. Changes are so stressful.. esp major ones like these. On top of all these.. i haven got over my troubles yet, which i mentioned in my last entry. I tried to take things in my stride, but its not easy. Many times.. i broke down. haha.. ever seen an officer, wearing tat damn smart uniform, crying in the dormitary during lunch.? In fact... the whole of last week, as long as i am alone with no one talking to me.. i am in tears. Half the time i am trying to hold back my tears while working alone, and tat contributes to like 10% of my stress and weariness. Imagine i am working in tears and my officer talk to me.. sia lah.. how to answer him sia.

i said tat i will start blogging again if i am feeling better. As i said.. i am feeling worse than ever. I dun mean to sound like a whining baby now.. i am really trying to hold myself together. All i need is someone to to walk beside me like before..not juz anyone..is tat someone. but i guess its not possible anymore. i am walking alone.. and i am trying. i am blogging now.. bcuz i dun wan to give up my blog. I like to blog.. but i juz dun find reason to blog when i am feeling like this. i dun think anyone would like to hear me whining and whining. Many times i feel like juz closing down this blog.. but i very "bu she de". so i guess i'll juz come in once in a while ba..

i believe in wheel of life... sometimes u are up.. sometimes u are down. Right now.. i feel like i have hit the lowest point.. erm.. not lowest time of my life lah.. maybe.. the lowest point for these 2 years. hah.. hope the wheel will turn again soon.

i am down!!

2005-11-28T20:05:00.000+08:00

sorry... i juz dun feel like blogging ah.. nothing impressive happen in my life lately.. haiz.. u see.. when i am happy.. i blog.. when i have pictures.. i blog.. when i am pissed.. i blog too...

But lately.. all tat i can feel in my heart is.. hmm.. sadness.. pain.. disappointement.. despair.. yes yes.. haha.. affairs of the heart... can really bring a person down hor.. =/

(right now at Chiu ting's house blogging)

today is my last day working at McDonald's King Albert Park. Finally.. after 7 years... 7 years of pain.. anger.. and happiness. Indeed.. the place holds a lot of memories for me.. be it positive or negative..they are unforgettable.

For example:

I met my 1st boyfriend at KAP.

The longest realationship i have (3 and half years) is a guy from KAP.

In fact.. all my boyfriends are from KAP.. LOL~!! not tat KAP has a lot of bloody cute guys lah.. but it juz happens tat they are all from there. LOL~

erm.. i found out wat i am really cut out for here.. tat is service line. i confirm this fact with my recognition from my peers and management.. and complimentary from customers.

i met a lot of friends here.. some of my closest friends are from KAP... Huiwen, Weifang, Angie.. and Andy blah blah... including the stupid but adorable girl sitting beside me now. They made up the most distinguished memories.

i am honoured to be the most feared person ever known to the kiddos.. and being their "gin Na Tou". hahaha~!!!

and many many more lah... if all blog here u all gotta read till tml.. say 8am.. provided u dun go toilet and dun sleep. Juz sit here and read nia...

i had a farewell party juz now at KAP... thanks a lot to ChiuTing and Fangqi.. who took the effort to gather the people and plan a party for me.. complete with games and all. Their ultimate plan was to torture me.. make me embarrassed... but haiz... how can 2 innocent minds compete with an evil genius like me? they need much more than tat ok... hahahah... in the end all kena tortured by me. By all... i mean organisers and the rest of the kids.. hahahah... wan to "play" me ah.. go back train for another 10 years maybe.. LOL~!!!

i got pix and videos.. all of lousy quality one... lol.. cuz all use handphones to take de mah.. once i collected all the pix and vids.. i'll try to post it up.. provided tat i am feeling better lah...

well.. i have oredi signed the training deed last Thursday with my sister and Raynor. Will be starting work on 5th December. i am posted to Queenstown Remand Prison. Judging from my luck... i doubt life will be tat good lah. Nevertheless.. i still pray and hope tat everything will go fine. heh heh...

alrighty... i gotta go le... hope i can blog soon.. which means.. hope life will get better soon... hope my luck will change for the better soon.. hope i'll be happier soon. ok.. =)